sometimes i feel so sublime...

susurrations and ghost lights

Greyor — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 03:45:27 +0000

    it’s been awhile, that’s for sure. I’ve had a busy few months this year. I defended my prospectus on 13 March, goddamn, that was only 10 days ago — and now I’m ABD, all but dissertation! It’s an incredibly exhilarating feeling, but all I want to do is just chill the fuck out for awhile, which I’ve been doing lately.
    My mind’s been scattered these days. It was focused like a laser during the prospectus process and all, but it’s diffuse of late. I’ve had interesting experiences lately. Two weeks or so that were pleasant overall, but when things went south, it was a little awkward and weird. Brighter skies ahead, upward and onward.
    I went to St. Augustine on Wed with my friend Kel for a day trip. It was a lovely drive over, a bit rainy, but gorgeously so. It was pouring and gloomy when we drove through Palatka on the way to St. Aug. Palatka is a pretty lame place, as far as I can tell, but the weather there when we drove over the St. John’s River was amazing. We walked around for a bit when we got to the city, and went to the Castillo to walk around there as well. Didn’t stay too long there. Sadly, the “powder room” which you have to crawl into was closed, so it wasn’t nearly as exciting as it normally is. We then looked around at shops and such, and booked one of the ghost trolley tours, which sounded like a lot of fun. We ended up stopping in a cool store and looking around for awhile. I ended up buying a salt crystal USB LED lamp, a salt crystal candle holder (tealights), and a little something for Nicole that I thought looked cool. She’s out of town with her boyfriend Gene in Savannah for the weekend, but I saw something cool at that shop and thought I’d grab it for her.
    Kel and I ate at this restaurant with “Cracker” food. You know, the native Southern shit and all. It was delicious. I got a bunch of fried shrimp with beer-battered fries and cheesy grits, and Kel and I split the “cornbread platter.” She ended up getting fried calamari. After we had dinner, we walked around a little more and just killed some time before the trolley tour. We booked it for 9pm, and had a couple of hours to kill, so we just hung out and shot the shit outside for awhile. It was pleasantly cool, with a nice breeze, and night was falling fast.
    The ghost tour was really awesome. I wish I’d brought my digital recorder with me to try in some of the haunted places we went. They told cool ghost stories while we drove, and showed us the lighthouse and the haunted lighthouse grounds, where we walked around a bit. The guide said people have captured a number of spirit orbs in photos taken there. Unfortunately, my phone was dead by that point, so no camera to use. Kel took some photos, though; perhaps she got something. We also got to stop off at the “Old Jail,” where we got to go inside and see the jail cells, and sit for awhile, all while being berated by a guy acting like one of the prisoners and trying to terrify us, haha. It was cool, though, for sure. After the tour ended, we had to drive back to Gainesville, of course, and we took Kel’s car, so we drove back through the night. It was really nice out.
    It was good to get out of town for a little while, especially in the middle of the week. I also did a reading of two poems at a memorial service yesterday, which was interesting. I ended up reading the Latin (in metre) and then my own translations. The surviving family members seemed very pleased with it, and they thanked me for what I did.
    Weeks have been melting into each other. I’ve booked a ticket for Oregon, too, from the start of May until the start of June, so that’ll be awesome! Can’t wait to go back and see the family. It’ll be super fun, and all of them want to see my tattoo, which will be fun to show off. Contemplating getting another one after I come back from Oregon, we’ll see.
    Anyways, tonight I’m sitting at home and chilling with the house to myself, which is really nice. Just relaxing and hanging out with Linus, having a good time. I may go out tomorrow night, not sure, we’ll see. I’ve been super exhausted by this week, honestly, even though the week before was a lot more exhausting w/the prospectus defence and all.
    I’ll try to write more soon. I’ve just not had the desire or the energy to do so lately. I’ve been reading 3 books, too, these days: Neal Stephenson’s The System of the World (book 3 of the “Baroque Cycle”), Thucydides’ History of the Peloponnesian War, and a book of Arthur Machen’s Gothic horror stories. Awesome stuff, all of it. And fuck, the Friends of the Library booksale is coming up in a month or so. More and more books to buy, haha. Anyways, take care.

obiter scripta

Greyor — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:21:16 +0000

    I haven’t a lot of time to write so I’ll make this short. Busy, busy, busy these days, the new year’s in full swing, and though I suffer from some sort of fleeting νόσος, all will be well. I’m off to give an exam to my students fairly soon now, a good group of kids/undergrads/whatever — it’s a chill day overall. I went to the Medieval Faire this weekend with my friend Kel — it was somewhat underwhelming, but still fun in general. I had my fill after about an hour or two. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I weren’t coming down with a cold at the time.
    So yeah, life is about the same. School keeps me busy, per the usual, but things are going well, and as to what pertains to life, well, that’s going fairly well also. I’ve met some new and interesting people so far this year, and some old ones have come back unexpectedly. My sister turned 25 yesterday. Gods, how the years have passed! I can’t believe she’s fucking 25. The Super Bowl was yesterday, and the Giants beat the Patriots yet again. I don’t really give a fuck, to be honest.
    But off to teach I go in a minute here. Once I block out some time to write at greater length, there will be something else here, but I haven’t had the time nor the desire to write anything at the moment. I should think of this like the Neo-Latin letters I’ve been translating for the last couple of years, where they make apologies for not writing in a timely enough manner. Until next time, farewell and take care, very illustrious readers.

the wheeling signs and the new year

Greyor — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 06:00:08 +0000

    It’s still cold here. Not as cold as it’s been, but definitely cold. It’s my last week here in Eugene, and I’m enjoying it to the fullest — hanging out with family, friends, and catching up on pleasure reading. I’ve not gotten as much work done as I would have liked for school, and the textbooks I brought have been largely untouched, but that’s about par for the course. Oh, and the Ducks won their first fucking Rose Bowl in the course of my whole life (try in 95 years, since 1917!!!). GO DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    This feels like the afterglow period, the time when things wind down and reality is becoming clearer and clearer, lacking the haziness (softgel?) it took on at the beginning of winter break. It’s 2012 now, the year we all die, according to the lunatics who believe in the December apocalypse. Fuck all of them. If we must go out in ekpyrosis, then fine, but I don’t believe it. I’m excited about the start of this year, and I see great things ahead. It’s also been about a year since I got back into the dating game. There have been tears and triumphs alike, of course, but it’s all been learning, all experience. I think things will be better this year. I resolved not to seek anyone out while in Eugene, considering what happened in the summer, and the lunatic date I underwent. No more crazy fucking girls, and no more fucking crazy girls, haha.
    I miss the mountains. Being here has made me miss them more than ever. My parents’ house looks out across the valley here, the Willamette Valley, to be more specific, in which Eugene is comfortably nestled, and we look west to the hills across the way. Beautiful sunsets at night. I’ll post some pictures if I get a chance. I put some on Facebook already, but it’d be a shame to reproduce those here from FB, as they considerably downsize the images when you upload them (or so I paranoidly fancy, if I’m wrong). In Florida we have vast expanses of flat plains, affording a view as far as the eye can see in some places, but it’s a low viewpoint, and there’s nothing to see. Even the slightly raised area of Payne’s Prairie is better than the flat monotony elsewhere. Hell, I even like the slight, slight hills on the Turnpike, whenever I have a chance to take it. I want to be somewhere in the mountains when I get a job and move, so hopefully it’s somewhere in New England or on the west coast. But I do love Florida for what it is.
    I celebrated New Year’s Eve in a very similar way to last year — with Claude and Anna. We went to SONIC and got dinner, then bought some supplies, including some beer. We hung out at Claude’s after that, playing videogames and watching bullshit TV, and laughing as Claude got wackier and wackier with some drink. I got some Ninkasi porter which was very good, and Claude was drinking Captain Morgan and other randomness. Hopefully I’ll be able to take the porter back to Gainesville along with a couple of tall bottles of Ninkasi I bought recently as well; crossing fingers it will fit in my suitcase. In any case, we hung out until rather late at Claude’s, and that was pretty awesome as always. I would have preferred to have a girl to kiss that night, but we can’t have everything, I suppose.
    Late nights and later days. I’ve slept in a lot while here, and stayed up fairly late. Hell, last night I was up until almost 5am: couldn’t sleep, as I woke up at noon, ate waffles, and then fell back asleep until 5pm — I’m a goddamn genius, non? The time change will probably be a rude awakening, but that’s alright, since it’s all worth it. I’ve still got a couple of days once I get back to get things sorted and arranged before classes start. Looking forward to teaching for sure, and I hope I have a good class!
    I’m looking forward to getting back and seeing my friends and everyone, and especially my darling cat Linus. I’ve missed him dearly while I’ve been here, and I’m sure he’s missed me as well. Nicole’s taken good care of him though, so he’s not been neglected. I love my parents’ dogs, but it’s not quite the same, and they’re a lot higher-maintenance than a cat is — I’ve gotten used to having a low-maintenance cat over the last year (! almost!) or so. It’ll also be nice to be back in my own bed, my own space — living out of a suitcase only works for so long before it becomes tiresome. I love it here, but it’ll be good to get back. I feel like my life is put on hold here, which can be good as well as bad.
    Also, I don’t remember whether I mentioned it before or not, but maybe a week or so ago, we had our Chihuahua Chichi put to sleep. She was 16, and suffering from kidney failure and other maladies, and just didn’t have a great life in general anymore. It was definitely time for her to go, but it was sad, since we’d had her since she was 2 years old. My mom and my sister were really cracked up about it, but I was fairly stoic — even though she was pretty much my dog for most of her life, I haven’t lived in the house for six (almost seven!) years now, and it didn’t have as much of an impact as it would have otherwise. She will be missed, however.
    It’s going to be a busy, busy two or three months. I’ve got my prospectus defence coming up in March, which is nerve-wracking, but it will be good to get that over with. I’m at an exciting juncture in my studies — all but ABD, hahaha — once I finish the prospectus and the oral defence, I will have candidacy, and start writing the diss in the fall! Very exciting. I’m going to knock this shit out of the park. This is also a strange year, as many of my friends will be graduating and leaving — well, a few at least. My friend Bob will have his diss done very soon, and he will likely be off at a new job by August sometime, and my friend Brenda will have her dissertation done soon as well. I’m going to miss Bob when he goes, as we’ve hung out a lot and gotten to be close friends, but there’s still some time left, thankfully.
    In any case, I haven’t much more to say really here. It’s getting late and I really should sleep at some point, but I wanted to jot down some thoughts before they drifted out of my head like bad dreams. Speaking of dreams, I’ve had lucid, terrifying, bizarre dreams almost every night I’ve been here. They just keep working me over with their lunacy, but I love it, and I’m jealous of that power here, since it never seems to happen in Gainesville. Oh well, perhaps it will continue when I get back. Take care, and happy new year!

oneiric malaise

Greyor — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 21:20:22 +0000

It’s been a nice time in Oregon with the family thus far. We had a good [s/Christ/gift/ig]mas, of course, seeing family and all, and it’s been fun to see friends and everyone else. I’m loving the generally gloomy weather, and perhaps I’ll post some pics at some point. I’ve hung out with Claude and Anna a lot as usual, and seen Vanessa, who is absolutely lovely as always! Still more people to see, though.
Part of the reason I wanted to write is to get down this insane dream I had last night. Dear gods, I wish I could have recorded it. It was so fucked up. Zombies, vampires, FBI agents, neutron bombs… it was a goddamn trip. I’ve generally remembered most of my dreams while I’ve been here — either that, or they’ve almost all been lucid. I guess that comes with staying in a ‘strange’ place (i.e. not my own bed). But in any case, I’ve written down an account of the dream as best as I can remember it, so here goes.

The first part of my dream started out with zombies attacking everywhere. I don’t know how I survived – whether by melee weapons or guns, but I got my way out of a number of tight situations.

At one point I met up with the people from THE WALKING DEAD, and Rick and his wife Lori were there, and they helped me avoid getting killed or eaten. We were holed up in a shopping mall, kind of like DAWN OF THE DEAD, but not exactly. We barricaded off part of the food court and tried to keep quiet to avoid zombies in the main mall area hearing us. Despite there being a large breach in one of our defenses, none from the main mall came in. Some people were using samurai swords, and others were using assault rifles and handguns.

One man came up, a guy I actually went to high school with, and since he startled one of our men, our guy ran him through with a samurai sword. A large hole was created in his midsection, yet he still stood up; apparently it had missed vital organs. One of our people screamed at the guy to stay still, and that they would pull out the sword and throw alcohol on the wound to clean it out. The one who ran him through jerked out the sword, but the wound had widened so much that it was now in open air, even as it was inside the man’s abdomen. The wounded man went off to die somewhere. We could do nothing for him.

I killed zombies indiscriminately with the other people. Some living joined forces with us, but it was all a blur.

At one point, we were standing right inside the doors of the mall, looking at the hell of the city and the carnage outside. The front of the mall was all glass windows, panes in a metal grid pattern that formed a wall, part of which included the main doors. The metallic glass grid went up and then back towards the main structure of the mall, forming a three-dimensional wall that protruded. Outside, as far as I can remember, there was noise above. All of a sudden, an explosion hit not far from the mall, a bluish shockwave that I interpreted as a neutron bomb. Two or three more of these hit, but oddly the mall was untouched. Of course, all of us were terrified and wondered what was happening – beyond the imminent zombie threat, that is.

Somehow I made my way with Lori and a couple other people to Rick and Lori’s old house. It didn’t look like the one from the show, but just looked like a normal house. We came in the door, and strangely enough, there were people in the house squatting. One was a young boy, maybe a teen, and I think there may have been a woman. We were about to shoot the both of them, but somehow we deemed them harmless and asked that they join forces with us. The house had a regular door as well as a glass screen door on the outside.

We tried to fortify the house against outside attacks, not knowing who or what would come after us. Two people came up and knocked at the door later. They were wearing what appeared to be police badges, wearing sunglasses, and had radios attached to their lapel pockets. I saw them through the glass of the door, and they, of course, saw me inside there. Lori and the others told me to get down and they hoped no one else was seen inside. All the other windows, as far as I remember, were shaded.

One of us came up to the front door and shot the two “policemen” outside. I don’t know what they actually were, but they seemed to be a threat. Through the back door, which was, bizarrely, now open, I saw the laser sights of snipers’ rifles coming in. I don’t know how far away they were, but some of us tried to open fire on them with handguns, since we lacked sniper rifles. None of that worked, of course.

I ran out the front door and headed for cover under the overhang of a building nearby. I watched as some sort of FBI agent shot a man with a pistol, but the gun discharged a net of electrodes instead of a bullet. The pistol looked like a silenced Walther PPK. The net clamped down on the man’s head and rendered him docile, and the agent took the man away for observation (?). I set about getting one of these pistols and using it on one of the agents. I shot one of the agents with the pistol, and a net did indeed come out. My further attempts at shooting this pistol ended up with it shooting mostly harmless grapeshot at low velocities.

FLASH.

I was in someone’s home, although it looked a lot like a hotel room. I had purchased some beer – Miller High Life, along with some other cheap beer – and one of the cases was only about ¾ full. Part of it had a normal six-pack, but then there were some larger bottles and, oddly, a diagonal slash of cardboard separating the beer from an empty space in the box. Whoever I was with wanted a couple of beers, and I grabbed one as well. In one part of the room there was a small stairway leading down to a refrigerated area for storing beer and other things.

My sister was in this scenario, and she even wanted one of the beers. But somehow one of the people in the room had become a vampire, and wanted to bite each of us and turn us as well. I kept well away from her, although she kept using vampire powers to make the others do whatever she wanted. We were all mad at her, and frightened, but we didn’t know what to do to kill her. Everything we tried to use against her as a stake (umbrella, or other things) didn’t work, and I tried to spray her with water, which she transformed into liquid dog shit. I screamed at her, “DON’T YOU EVER FUCKING CORNER ME!!! EVER!!” She had cornered me and tried to sink her teeth into my neck.

Somehow she got the jump on me, and I was horizontal on the floor, lying on my back. Another woman was next to me, and instead of the vampire girl biting me, she bit the girl next to me. I felt terrible, but I knew this had to be stopped somehow.

There was no satisfactory resolution to any of this. I woke up before the vampire scenario could be resolved.

    No idea what all of this means. I watched Sucker Punch with Anna last night, though, which may explain some of it. I bought it for $5 or something at Target!
    I got a lot of DVDs for Christmas — Eastbound and Down seasons 1 and 2, Community season 2, Dexter season 5, and Justified season 1. Oh, and I even found a special edition of The Walking Dead season 1, which should be really cool. Otherwise, some clothes and other things, which were useful and good as well. Claude bought me Modern Warfare 3 a week or so ago, which was awesome too. Time moves slowly here. I can’t believe I’ve only been here for a week and a half or so, because it feels like much, much longer. Well, I guess it’s been almost 2 weeks, rather, since I got here on the 15th.
    In any case, I’ll write more at a later date. I mostly wanted to get that dream down because it was so fucked up.

nostos kruoeis

Greyor — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 09:06:09 +0000

    hi everyone. it’s been (ut solet) a long time since I last wrote. I’ve had a busy, busy, hectic, crazy semester. Not always crazy, but crazy enough that I’ve not always found the time (or desire) to write. I’m essentially ABD after this semester, although my prospectus for the dissertation is what I’m working on next semester (defence ~13 March or so). Stress off yet stress on. Old worries have died and been replaced with others of a different kind. So it goes. Most of that’s under the rug until early January.
    It’s been a long fucking year. Just a really long fucking year. I met a lot of cool people this year, learned a lot, and have had a fun time, but I’ve had my share of failures among the few starry successes. I’ve met a lot of crazy goddamn people this year, to be sure, since starting back into the dating fray, for example. Some have been absolutely lovely, and stayed in my life for as long as they needed to stay, and then exited stage right (or left, whichever is customary). Some went out with the proverbial “bang,” and others with the proverbial “whimper” of a communication channel slowly choked to death. It’s all experience, though, all learning, and I’m glad for all of it, despite any stress and pain it brought me. Suffering is didactic.
    I’m starting afresh come the new year. I’ve got a clearer outlook on things in that respect. I am not super interested in just going around meeting a ton of people any more. I’d like to be a little more selective. That means no crazy fucking girls. None. At the first sight of crazy (“bad crazy”), I’m out. I want someone intelligent and stable. In any case, this isn’t meant to sound like a dating profile. I’m just saying I’ve learned from my mistakes (and my misjudgments of character), and fuck that shit. I’ve had my fill of dating around (on a larger scale, at least, for some will still be necessary), and it’s expensive, frustrating, and time-consuming.
    Aside from that, things are pretty good overall. Finished up the semester strong, had a good class that I taught, and now I’m home with my family in Oregon, enjoying some much-needed time off. It’s been nice seeing my family and hanging out with my sister. And I finally finished Neal Stephenson’s Quicksilver (book 1 of The Baroque Cycle), and immediately started book 2, The Confusion. Fucking loved the first book, and the second one is promising to be just as awesome (if not more so).
    I’m hanging out with Vanessa later this week, which, of course, will be absolutely lovely. I’ve missed her dearly! Seeing my friend Allison at some point, and also my friend Ashley, which will be great! There are some people I definitely want to see while I’m here, but it’s not really set in stone, and thus very fluid. There seem to be less people for me to see every time I come back here, but that’s alright. I still have some very good friends here, which always warms my heart. I know I’ll be seeing a lot of Claude while I’m here, too, which is fine, because it’s fun chilling with him.
    I was thinking about nature lately. I dearly miss the trees and the hills and the forests up here, and of course, the cold weather and proper winters they have here. It’s been amazing being here with 40° weather or below, and hell, even some rain once in a while! Nicole drove me to the airport on Thursday afternoon last week, and we passed by a number of brambly fields (horrida dumis, as Lucan would say). The woods just seemed to have reclaimed their territory, growing in over formerly-manicured land. This made me think about how nature wouldn’t care if we just disappeared one day, because it would just do what it does best — grow over everything, grow as far as the eye can see, wide and high, of course. Over time, it would be as if no one had ever pruned back the growth of the woods and the fields, and all would become one big jungle of overgrowth. Seriously, given enough time, the planet would reclaim itself, and humanity would be but a whisper, a rustling in the detritus and rotting vegetable matter sloughed off of the highest trees. I haven’t decided yet whether I’d like to be cremated (funeral pyre!) or rot under the ground after I’m dead. I’ve got awhile to think about that, though.
    In any case, life has slowed down here, which is always lovely. I miss my own bed and my own flat, of course, and I miss Linus terribly. Nicole says that he has been pawing at my door in the morning and trying to wake me up, and misses me terribly as well. I’m sure he will be ecstatic to see me once I come home! I love the dogs here, but not quite as much as Linus these days. Chichi, our chihuahua, is barely hanging in there, and has wasted away to all but about 3 lbs., which is sad to see. I can almost pick her up in one hand she’s so small. She’s mainly shuffled around aimlessly, shimmying diagonally (perhaps misaligned/dislocated hips?), and slept most of the day. I don’t know what to do with her. I’m worried even to pet her. Everyone, and everything, gets old and dies, I know, but it’s painful to see her like that. The other dogs just sort of get on my nerves. I love dogs still, but I guess I’m used to Linus being more hands-off, and chilling the fuck out when I want him to leave me alone.
    I’m going to go downstairs and read now, I think. I’ll try to write more soon, but I haven’t thought of much to say, really, so it may come in fits and starts. curate ut valeatis.

resumption

Greyor — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 06:38:32 +0000

    Gods, it’s been a long fucking time since I last wrote here. No particular reason except that life got in the way, as it is wont to do. This summer was a blur of dates, meeting new people and others falling by the wayside, and a lot of nothingness. I’ve been busy with school since it started in August, of course, but not as busy as I’d like to (or should) be. It’s been pretty insane. I also haven’t been in the mood for writing very often, or as contemplative as usual; the words have stayed inside for the most part.
    I’ve been teaching Latin 3, which has actually been a lot of fun, though there have been ups and downs, as with every class. I’m just writing my ‘special topic’ this semester, though, for my own coursework, and that’s just involved many trips to the library and many INTERLIBRARY LOAN requests. I’ve been busy almost every weekend, it seems. But having Tuesdays and Thursdays off has been wonderful again.
    Went down to Ocala tonight for a lovely date. German food, Little Shop of Horrors onstage… had an amazing time. I love the drive down there and back — it’s beautiful! As I’m going back, as has happened before, there are stars filling the sky above, and I wish I could linger and look at them. The road north is largely empty, so it’s just me and my music-filled car hurtling through the blackness. Just beautiful.
    It’s been a pretty great few months though overall. Lots of new experiences, lots of new people, and especially the new students, most of whom have been amazing. Had a great time hanging out with Nicole at Gene’s (Nicole’s b/f) house last night; one of his friends was also there. We watched ridiculously weird horror/splatter movies, the best of which had to be The Burning Moon, a relentlessly gory and disgusting German film from 1992. I think I’m going to buy it at some point in the near future. It was uber-fucked up but I, upon further reflection, really rather enjoyed it.
    In other news, I’m ditching Bank of America, mostly over their impending $5/month fee for using your debit card. That’s right. A fee for using your goddamn debit card. Mostly because, as a result of the lower fees they bring in from merchants for debit card use, they are passing on those losses in the form of fees to the customer. Way to go. Fuck them. For many reasons. I switched to USAA, which should be much better, and I’m working on the transition right now, which should be relatively seam- and painless.
    Otherwise, things are good. I’m going back to Oregon from 15 December to 07 January, which will be awesome. And I’ll have candidacy (cross your fingers) and hence be ABD by the end of the spring, if all goes well (which it will!). Life is pretty great overall.
    I’m going to try to write more often; hopefully there won’t be another 4-month gap between this and the next post. Take care, and have a lovely night.
    I’m still dreaming of the circle of sycamore trees.

circle of trees

Greyor — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 06:23:58 +0000

    I’m dreaming of the Black Lodge, those fluttering red curtains, and the heart of the forest. I’ve done a whole lot of nothing throughout the past few weeks, but seen friends and been enjoying summer, as well as soaking up loads of new, lovely, wonderful music. I’m off to Oregon in 5 days from now; it’s kind of hard to believe, really, that the time has passed so goddamn quickly.
    They say one door opens after another closes. Since I got on OKCupid a few months ago, I’ve had a very interesting time on there overall, and met a number of people. Three have fallen by the wayside, but as Vanessa told me, perhaps they were in my life for just long enough to make some sort of impact. It’s all experience, it’s all learning, and hell, a lot of fun, despite the lunacy and drama that goes on at times. One such door, let’s say, closed a couple of days ago, and it was definitely bittersweet. I didn’t know what I expected, nor what I wanted, but I am grateful that it lasted as long as it did, and happy for the time I got to share with her. We’ll see what happens when I get back from Oregon; my head may be clearer, and I may end up meeting more people at that point.
    I’ve been listening to a lot of music lately. Playing videogames as well, and watching lots of movies and TV shows. Twin Peaks has especially resonated with me — I should have watched it a long time ago. I don’t know that I would have appreciated it as much as I do now, though, had I watched it earlier, but I am glad I watched it now. I was telling Anna this earlier, but the only word I can come up with that perfectly describes the show is numinous. Something magical, some nescioquid which is irresistibly attractive. The show is so rich in atmosphere, soaked in it; even the lonely shots of trees blowing in the wind, or a forlorn traffic light, are full of mystical meaning. Don’t even get me started on the actually mystical and supernatural occurrences, which are even more intriguing. It’s enthralled me, though, to be sure, and now I have the box set of the series, as well as the prequel Fire Walk With Me (the latter is not as good, IMHO, but I still enjoyed it).
    I’ve not seen many of my friends lately. Spent an inordinate amount of time in the house, sleeping in, and contemplating the mysteries of the universe, among other things. I need to read more, goddamn it, especially in German and French. The book I’m reading right now, Thomas Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow, is very difficult to get into, but I am trying to give it a chance. It’s just really dense, and not much has happened so far, even 60ish pages into a 700pg book. I’ve got loads of other stuff on deck that I should read as well. I’ve been playing a lot of videogames lately, probably too often, but the Wii is a lot of fun, and Netflix streaming is a great feature to have (hey, it got me into Twin Peaks, so fuck yeah!).
    I’ve not had much time, or not taken much time, at least, to write lately; I’ve been remiss. I feel like I’m writing one of Gassendi’s letters. I actually really enjoy translating those letters from Latin; epistolary literature really helps you get inside a person’s head, and helps you nail down their writing style as well. I feel like I have a better grasp on medieval Latin now, at least, and dear gods, it’s frightfully loose with the syntax compared to classical Latin! I can see how it morphed into the dialectic variants that eventually became French and other languages — and the names of cities and people as expressed in Latin are really interesting. I’ve ignored the names as requested, but when they are present, it’s really fascinating to see how the Latin transforms into French names.
    Otherwise, I’m still trying to think of an idea for my Special Topic in the fall, which I’ll be laboring on throughout the semester, and I’m going to bring some books to Oregon with me to help out with deciding on it.
    Excited to see my family in Oregon soon — it’s been since January, even though my sister did come to visit in early March during spring break. In any case, I’ll try to write more, and especially whilst in Oregon, if I have some downtime (which I will). Take care, everyone, and may the Giant be with you.

ennui of summer

Greyor — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 03:29:05 +0000

    I know I’ve not written in a long while. Life has been pretty crazy lately. This year has been vastly different than any year before, mostly because of the new people who have come into (and gone out of) my life. School kept me fairly busy overall, and it still is; my class I’m teaching ends next Friday, which will be a welcome end, even though I’ve enjoyed teaching. The class hasn’t taken too much of my time, but getting up early has been annoying. I know there are far worse things, though, than an early morning wakeup, and I’m thankful to have a job, at least for the first part of the summer.
    It’s been a little over a year since Nicole and I broke up, and in the last few months, I’ve felt like I should go back into the fray of dating. I’ve been slightly rusty at it, though, and had my share of tears and triumphs. Well, not so much tears as just minor setbacks. I’ve just been trying to enjoy myself, meet new people, and have fun with things. If something (and someone) serious comes along, then I’m open to that, but I don’t want to be tied down just yet, so I’m taking my time with that. It’s been a very eye-opening and interesting experience reentering that sector of society, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed myself, and continue to do so. Needless to say, all of that has kept me rather busy, along with hanging out with friends and also, of course, taking time for myself.
    I’ve been watching a lot of TV and reading a lot of books lately. I’m almost done with season 3 of Parks and Recreation, which is fucking hilarious. So glad I started watching it. I’ve started and finished Chuck Palahniuk’s Snuff and Pygmy, two awesome books from an awesome author. They’d been sitting on deck for a year or so, and I finally got around to reading them after finishing Hanns Heinz Ewers’s Strange Tales. I immediately started another book today — Thomas Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow. I’ve heard his prose is very baroque and his books are very dense. So far I’m definitely feeling that. Also, I started and finished Slaughterhouse-Five a little while back. Gravity’s Rainbow seems to have a similar vibe, but it could be that they’re from the same relative time period, and also about WWII. We’ll see how I like the Pynchon book as time goes on.
    Also, I got a Wii, and it’s been taking up too much of my time lately. It’s a hell of a lot of fun, though.
    Otherwise, not too much going on. I have my French exam on Monday. Not entirely ready, but I will get ready over the next few days. All will be well. OK. Take care, will write more soon. Haven’t felt very inspired lately.

at the close of the year

Greyor — Mon, 02 May 2011 17:52:42 +0000

    It’s the end of a very long semester. Somehow the end of it coincided with my birthday, and I was busy up until the very end of last week. Crazy times. I’m exhausted from all of it, and glad to have a week or so break before I start teaching again. Glad to have summer employment for part of the summer, at least, though, and I just got a plane ticket to go back to Oregon to see my family and all, which will be great. My apologies for not writing lately; been caught up with loads of papers to write for the end of the semester, which has taken most of my time of late. I’ve been rather short on sleep the last few days as well.
    Happy to have the new Ubuntu (11.04), which, happily enough, due to their 6-month release cycle, comes out around my birthday and half-birthday every year, so it’s like an extra present. It’s becoming more like Mac OSX every release though, now including a dock and such (only on the left side of the screen, for the time being). Taken a little getting used to, but I’m liking it so far.
    I don’t know if I mentioned this, but Jenn came to visit Nicole and I last week, from Sunday to Wednesday, right in the midst of my paper-writing mania. We had a good time despite that, however, and she enjoyed herself as far as I could tell.
    I’m just so glad to be done with papers and such for awhile. I wrote a good 40pg or so this semester, which has been crazy. I’ve also passed all but one exam (the French exam), which I’m taking at the start of June. Shouldn’t be a problem at all. Other than that, I’ll be hanging out with friends, trying to write more often, and enjoying my summer whilst teaching for the first half. I’ll write more soon, promise.

a rare long weekend

Greyor — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 04:22:22 +0000

    it’s mostly business, not pleasure, but somehow it’s a mix of both. Gave my paper on Lucretius yesterday, which went very well, and my colleagues did very well also. Glad to have it over with, and today I enjoyed a number of different panels. Somehow, paradoxically, it’s exhausting sitting through papers. Mentally exhausting if nothing else, but somehow there’s a physical component to it as well. I was up and running from about 09.30 to about 22.30 today, so it’s been a long goddamn day.
    I’m looking forward to getting home Sunday, although there’s still another day of fun to be had. I just wish I were further along on my paper that’s due Monday, and I hope some sort of inspiration will come to me before Sunday. I just don’t have the motivation to write whilst here, nor the energy. I’ll figure it out, but it’s going to be a little crazy. This end-of-semester lunacy has kept me relatively busy, but thankfully I’ve kept sane despite it. It’s been great hanging out with my friends and colleagues here, and seeing old friends; saw one of my old professors today, and it was lovely, simply lovely to see her. It’d been two years, and she looked the same as ever, and was happy to see me. She gave a great paper on Vitruvius and Plato’s Symposium this morning; I ducked out afterwards to see an Aeneid panel, but managed to catch her after her panel was done.
    otherwise it’s just been a big blur. Met some cool people here for sure though, had a great time. Enjoying it while it lasts, but will be ready to come home. anyways, farewell for now.