“The beauty of daylight-saving time is that it just makes everyone feel sunnier“
– Rep. Edward Markey, D-Massachusetts, discussing the benefits of extending daylight-savings time.
“RESPECT THE COCK!“
– rough, quoting Tom Cruise in Magnolia
what the fuck? That is quite possibly the funniest quote I’ve ever heard… well… the funniest quote I’ve heard today at least. This whole extension of daylight-savings business is fucking retarded, if you ask me… doesn’t make any sense. apparently it is to “save energy,” according to the article linked above, but I’m wondering how the fuck “extending” the day will save energy, and I can’t come up with any answers.
in any case, it’s been a day just like any other, strange as can be, and that’s to be expected with a character such as me I guess. i told you guys that I’d write about the thunderstorm this morning (Friday morning, that is), so I will now. while my sis was in the room playing video games, lightning started flashing, and i began to hear thunder and all. i was like fuck yeah, this is awesome! jenn called me around midnight when she got off of wRk and said it was raining pretty hard, and she heard thunder and saw lightning on the way home. she said she even stopped in an abandoned parking lot to watch it for a few, and apparently some assclown came up to her car and opened her door and said, “you can’t park here, it’s a private lot.” she was like “what the fuck, man, don’t go opening my door like that!” i thought she was gonna say some creepy guy did that and she ran him over or somethin, but this was better, phew.
i was on the computer and just chillin, writing and such, and Jenn called and said I should watch the lightning and all, so I opened my windows wide and let the thunder fill the room with its magnificent sound. hell, I don’t have screens on my windows, so I put my legs out the window and sat on the sill (it’s pretty sturdy) and talked to her while I watched it. eventually I sat down on the deck outside my window against the wall and looked up at the stormy heavens amid the pouring rain. The upper deck was above me, though, so I didn’t get hardly a drop of water on me. I sat out there for at least an hour watching the storm, and when it began to die down I got off the phone with Jenn and concentrated on writing. got back to writing, and as I said, worked on a lot of my Latin translation of my ‘starry night’ story, and then I crashed around 5am.
woke up bright and early at 9 fucking am. Jenn wanted me at her house by 11 because I was going to the beach with her today, and so I tried to wake myself up as much as possible. called wRk and asked if they had checks ready, and Shanna said yes, so I told her I’d be in soon enough to pick mine up. I don’t think I got out of bed until 10 though, and then my mum wanted me to help her and my grandparents with something, but I had to get in the shower and get ready to go if I was going to be at Jenn’s at 11. flew out the door, loaded up some hiphop on the iPod, and drove towards wRk to get my check. got there, picked it up, talked with a couple former coworkers, and then deposited my check at the bank. it was a $243 check (they gave me a 25¢ raise right before I quit, LOL, so I was making $8.15), but I owed the bank $100 (fucking overdrafts… I hate having that $100 cushion sometimes), so it was only $143, obviously. sped over to Jenn’s afterwards, and she was ready to go, so we got a few things done and hopped into her car. fuck, we really did a lot of shite today.
we took her car because 1) it’s better on gas mileage and 2) it most likely won’t explode in the middle of being driven. i wanted to go to jack in the box for some breakfast, and so we drove over there first, but I ended up getting a Bacon Ultimate cheeseburger and she got chicken strips (by mistake; she wanted some chicken sandwich but the lady fucked it up). always good…. we had Jenn’s dog Belle in the car then too, because we were going to the beach mainly to run her around (Belle is always cooped up in the house, and since she’s a medium-sized dog, she needs to run a bit to stay active), and so we started off on our journey.
we didn’t exactly start off on the right foot, though. Jenn wanted me to drive for about a half-hour, and I was like fuck, I don’t wanna drive at all, I’ll drive the way back — and she was all like “Fine.” i knew she was pissed off a bit then, and so I just said “Fuck it, take me home, this is retarded.” We kinda bickered back and forth a bit, and then she turned on some music really loud and I plugged my ears for awhile… it was retarded as hell how we were fighting. she kept trying to hold my hand and I refused to… I felt like a little kid, really; part of me did at least. finally I gave in and we made up and everything was ok… but that wasn’t until about halfway to Florence (it’s about an hour drive there). Coincidentally, I played her an album I’d never played for her before on my iPod: Mirah – Advisory Committee, which Blythe had given me a copy of oh so long ago in March, and I think Jenn liked it, but she said it was too depressing for the moment. After that, I played her some De La Soul and also some Cadence Weapon! When we got to Florence, she asked what beach I wanted to go to, and I said Heceta Head, which was about 20-30mins north of Florence, and so she drove us to the beach there.
when we got there, I knew we had to pay to use the beach ($3 fee), so we parked and I paid the fee, sticking the day use permit on the dash. apparently Jenn didn’t like the beach, though, because Belle didn’t have enough space to run around on the sand there, since there were too many people around. I got kinda pissed again and said “what the fuck do you want to do?” and she said “let’s go to another beach…” and I didn’t want to go because we’d already paid for this one — so I suggested we take the walk up to the lighthouse. Itwas about 1/2 mi., and we walked up it while trying to rein in Belle at the same time on the leash. I think both of us were pretty pissed off at each other during the whole time, and we’d completely missed the point of coming there — which was to see all the sights and all of the natural beauty there. We both wanted some water, though, so we left the beach and headed back south to Florence.
I think we were both cooling off a bit at each other, and feeling a bit more amicable, and so we went into Safeway and got some stuff: two bottles of Arrowhead water, one of Refreshe (Safeway’s brand), and two packs of Reese’s Pieces. yes, quite an array of edible and potable wonders. we sped towards the south jetty in Florence, then, and we wanted to go onto the beach there. $5 fee there — motherfuckers. i heard that our day use we paid $3 for would work everywhere, but apparently not there — so I handed Jenn a $5 and she got us a permit. We drove down the road, surrounded on all sides by brush and dunes, and the ocean seemed closer and closer as we travelled down that road. We pulled over in one of the parking areas, the 2nd one, to be exact, and got out of the car with Belle and started walking up a dune towards the ocean.
it was a fucking bitch to go up that dune, and once we got over it, the ocean was in sight through the hazy fog. yes, fog… it was bright and sunny, but a layer of fog was draped over the beach in front of us, and it looked out of place in all that nitid light, but oh well. Jenn let Belle run around and all and threw a tennis ball for her to fetch, and I walked around and after them. I quickly got bored with it, though, because I would have rather had the dog stay at home, but it was alright — I told Jenn I was going to lay down in the sand and just chill, and so I did just that. The dry sand, that is — easy to brush off. She said I ended up getting dead crab parts on me and et cetera, which was weird, and so I waited for a lil while for them to finish playing and fetching the ball, and then we started the trek back to the car. we needed to hike up the dune again, and it was still a real bitch to get up in the shifting sand, but we made it and headed back down to the car.
Jenn asked what I wanted to do next — lay here and take a nap (no!) — or get dinner? I wasn’t all that hungry, but I said sure, let’s go down to Old Town and see what they have to eat there. We pulled through most of the bayfront and parked in the public parking lot they have there, and we walked up and down the street looking for some food. We ultimately decided on Mo’s, which is world-famous for its clam chowder (I don’t eat seafood really, so I wouldn’t know), and we went in and got seated. it seems like the whole fucking Florence high school works there, lol…. but hey, I guess that’s good for them, good jobs to start out in. I ordered a grilled cheese and fries (always good, no matter what), and Jenn got a salad and a mushroom swiss burger. We both split some garlic cheese bread, which is some fucking good shite.
we had a good convo during dinner; I ended up rambling about all sorts of bullshit, and she listened as always. The grilled cheese was good, even though it was made with processed American cheese, and well, it was a pretty good dinner. however, when I went to pay (because I promised I’d take her out to dinner), my fucking credit card didn’t go through. WTF?!? I put $148 or so in there this morning, and I didn’t fucking understand what happened — so we had to use Jenn’s card, and I told her I’d pay her back. after dinner we went over to BJ’s Ice Cream, because Jenn felt like ice cream, and I said why the fuck not, let’s do it. She said she owed me $5 for that day use permit, because I paid for the one before, and so she bought me ice cream — I got a double-scoop “peanut butter cup” waffle cone. bloody good… and she got some kinda strawberry shit. we walked along the dock and then sat down at a bench right near there and ate our ice cream, and afterwards, we both decided it was time to get back home, so we hit the road.
I drove all of the way home, most of it at close to 70-75mph. I threw on the Blade Runner OST, which was our theme music for the whole ride home. Fuck, “Rachel’s Theme” is such a gorgeous track — I think that’s it — lots of ooh’s and aah’s with the vocals, and it just sounds heavenly. on the way back, some asshole kept wanting to pass me (it’s a two-lane road in the mountains), and at the next passing lane, he did. Since him/her was such a dick about it (just about riding my ass the whole way), I wanted to speed up after that and ride their fuckin ass, but even when I sped up to like 70 or 80mph, I couldn’t catch him, and it was unsafe to do so anyways — very windy roads and all.
we finally pulled into Veneta (about 15mi out of Eugene) where Jenn’s parents live, and she had to stop off there for a sec, so we did so. after that, we drove like hell to Jenn’s house and met up with Christine and Dan there. we all planned on watching Freddy 5, but they were going off to DQ to get some ice cream, and so we had the house to ourselves for a bit. hehe… so then, I told Jenn I wanted to go to Target and buy Lost in Translation, since I saw it last night and fucking loved it — and so she said sure, go for it — and I was off. I ended up getting there and they were sold out or discontinuing the fucking DVD, so I settled on Constantine instead (only $17!!), and my debit card worked! thank God! I’ll buy Lost in Translation tomorrow got back, and we sat down to watch Freddy 5, and it was a decent movie — the movies just keep getting stupider and stupider really, but they’re still fun for a laugh.
Jenn and Christine had to talk really after that. during the movie, Christine was all like “Oh, I can’t make it too loud for your precious ears…” and Jenn got pissed and walked out of the room after that comment. she came back though; that wasn’t the reason nor the crux of the problem. I don’t know much about it, so I’m not really going to say anything, but their relationship as roommates and best friends has been somewhat strained lately, especially by the fact that Dan has been spending the night almost every night for the last two weeks since they got back together (and hence, should almost be paying rent). so Jenn asked if her and Christine could talk, but Christine blew her off — Jenn said that she never gets to see her and all, and they’re supposed to be best friends, and Christine said, “We’re just roommates. nothing more.” I’m not trying to talk shit about her, because I have a lot of respect for Christine, and she is one of my best friends, but I dunno, they needed to talk and all, and so they finally did. Jenn kinda got pissed and all and came in and wanted to talk to me about it, and I said “look, you need to talk to her, not me… you two need to figure this shit out, or I’ma see you on Judge Judy, and I’m gonna laugh….” that was a bit crass and tasteless, but I was serious — Jenn was about to say “look, find yourself a new roommate,” and I said “no, take a step back, don’t do that shit.” so they talked, and they worked some shit out, so that was good.
I chilled with Jenn for a lil while after that, and then I bailed. had to go get some gas, and had to settle on Arco (bleh, shitty gas), then drove home. Claude called me and all while I was driving, and I talked to him for a bit. However, I was slightly disturbed when I finally got a text msg from Chelsey saying “I left you a long msg on yahoo.” I was like wtf? I texted her back while driving (bad idea, but I was worried), and she said to read the msg when I got home and then call her if I wanted to. well… I read it… and we definitely had some shite to work out, and so I talked to her online for a bit about it, and then she wanted me to call her, and we ended up spending like 4hrs on the phone almost (till around 03.30, and it’s like 05.30 now). anyways, we’re on the same page, everything’s chill, and I’m glad she returned… apparently she was sort of avoiding me for the past couple days. god i love that girl tho
anyways, now I’m just writing this and talking to roughels…. i need to sleep though, so I’m out for now. party at Jenn’s tomorrow, we’re gonna booze it up prolly, and I’m taking her out to the bars cos her 21st is on Sunday! yayor. im spendin the night tomorrow too, cos i’ll be too drunk to drive home (hopefully). hopefully i can get in some scratchin’ before I have to go meet up with her at 13.00 (8hrs from now, LOL). peace and love to everyone! zZZzzz.
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well, it sounds like you had a busy day. hopefully you had some fun between the arguements and what not though.
just real quick — I’ve got about 2 para’s left of my Latin story to translate. I decided to finish it up in MS Word and then transcribe it over to here… seems a little less volatile than xTools. in any case, it’ll be done in a couple days at most (I hope). It’s been a 12-day project thus far, working on it on and off (really not working on it much except for the 10th and 17th or so), and yeah, I think you all will love it (i hope) when it’s done. I’ll make sure to link you to the Mexico journal in case you’re not a Latin scholar and want a translation much love, and I’m out like a trout. Going to the beach with Jenn tomorrow, and will be gone most of the day, but I’ll be back later tonight (yes, that is tonight I guess now, since it’s almost 5am and I need to sleep). what glorious thunderstorms tonight! i’ll tell all about them soon enough. peace.
oh, and wavey — thanks for offering to hook up a copy of your upcoming mixtape. sign roughdraft up for one too if you can eh? pZ.
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no i don’t speak french yet!!!!!! aaaaaaaaa the key
i mixed up some ill shit on the turntables today. yes, i did get them out of ‘storage,’ so to speak… unveiled them in all their rapidly-fading glory. now you can either laugh, or laugh louder, because I loaded up a Bible record on table #1. that’s right, a Bible record, on the left turntable. why, you ask? because there’s nothing more hilarious than to scratch “The Pharaoh would not let them go” or “God was not satisfied with the people of Egypt” or any other random saying on there. Right turntable? Kool and the Gang – Emergency. My mum picked that LP up for me awhile ago when she was down in Cali, and apparently she saw some records that she thought I’d like. apparently they’re oldskool soul, classic shit, and so I mainly just let it play while I scratched over it with the Bible record. Fuck, that sounds funny, and seriously, it is some funny shit to scratch with. I’ve always found acapella or just vocal tracks are so much easier to cut up, since hiphop tracks and their beats don’t sound too well scratched. It’s easier to grab snatches of phrases with pure vocals too, which is usually the intent when sampling — but I think sampling straight-up hiphop makes it a lot harder and takes more technique, which is what any good DJ should be able to do.
I’m not exactly a good DJ, but I have fun with it (when I do get on the tables, that is), and well, I haven’t scratched for months, sadly. I’m doing it now because I’m about to leave for San Francisco, and I can’t take my turntables with me there for a number of reasons, one being a ban on amplified equipment in my apartment, and a second being that I won’t have enough space for that really. Oh well, though… it’ll be alright. it was fun today, and I need to do it more before I leave for sure!
i woke up this morning around 10am, feeling as if i had gotten way too little sleep. I’d told Jenn I was going to meet her at OHOP (original house of pancakes) at noon, and she called me saying she was running a bit late, so she wanted to meet at 12.45 instead, and I said fine. I got out of bed around 12.10 then after having some strange dreams, and talked to my mum for a few before I got into the shower and got ready to go. out the door by 12.40 or so, and I met Jenn at the restaurant around 13.00 or so. she’d never been there before, so she took a few minutes to order, but I ordered the usual thing I got there: bacon pancakes! you see, what they do is first put medium-sized bits of bacon in the batter, cook up 6 pancakes, and then sprinkle more bacon pieces over the top of them when they’re on the plate. jesus christ they’re so fucking good….. then with butter? fuck, it’s heavenly.
we talked over brunch and all, and had a nice convo, and then she had to go over to Lane to take care of some school shite, and then go to wRk at 15.00 or so. personally, I drove back home and just kinda relaxed for awhile, serene and content, and I remembered that I could register for classes starting at 15.00 today. well, I looked at the Classics requirements for my Master’s program, and looked at the classes they had available, and decided to register. Here’s my class schedule:
CLAS 0720-01
12920
ARISTOPHANES’ WOMEN PLAYS
3
SEM
M
1510 – 1755
HUM 131
D LEITAO
GRE 0730-01
14010
ATTIC ORATORY
3
SEM
MWF
1310 – 1400
HUM 382
D SMITH
LATN 0765-01
14628
CICERO
3
SEM
MWF
1210 – 1300
HUM 129
P VAUGHN
yay huh? so they had Latin, Greek, and Classics classes available, obviously, and I took all of them that I thought I could — 9 credits is a full graduate load. and fuck it all — I have no classes Tuesday or Thursday!!! woooooooo! busy day Monday, class from 12.10-17.55, but otherwise, wooo… it’s fucking illy. yay! I was all worried about signing up for classes, but I think things are going to be just fine. anyways, after I registered, I thought I’d better finish up my thank-you cards I needed to send those who sent me gifts for graduation ($, misc gifts, etc.), and I only had 3 left to write, so I wrote them in only a short time. afterwards, I asked my mum for some cash, because I’m not getting paid until tomorrow, and she gave me a check for $50 and also some cash to get stamps to mail the letters. the thing is, I don’t ask my parents for money all that often, so I feel bad when I have to do so, but hey, I’ve been broke all fucking week, which sucks, so I’m glad they helped a bit.
i took my sis with me to go try and mail the letters, but the post office was closed by the time I got there (at least the one I went to… it closed at 16.30), and I didn’t want to drive to the other one which closed at 17.00, so I said fuck it, and we went across the bridge to Springfield to Tacotime to get some dinner. I haven’t had anything outside of the house for a few days, and well, there’s really been nothing to eat here for awhile — nothing worth eating at least. hence, we went to Tacotime and got some food, and then headed back home, but on the way home, something curious happened. All the traffic seemed to just congeal and come to a halt, and I checked my watch, noting it was a bit after 5, so I thought it might have been rush hour or something, whatever of rush hour traffic we have here… but no. We sat there behind a line of cars, waiting, and a few minutes later I saw a policeman run by me down the sidewalk, and his car was parked strangely a few cars behind, pretty much run up onto the sidewalk. I didn’t think to look ahead really, and just turned on music and talked bullshit with my sis, and about 5 or 10 minutes later, the right lane emptied out and cars started moving again. I signalled and got into the right lane, and let a couple people in in front of me, and then we were on our merry way. we passed a policeman and some random woman, and they were looking up at the bridge quizzically, and I wondered if someone had jumped off the bridge or something, but I wasn’t sure.
coincidentally, I looked this up right now on the local news station, and nothing was said about it. perhaps it’ll be in tomorrow’s (Friday’s) paper or something, but I’m not sure. in any case, we sped home so we could eat our food. sat down in front of the tv and watched some horseshit on VH1 and ate, and afterwards, I think I got back on the computer for a few, but I then decided I wanted to cut it up on my turntables. I asked my mum if she could help me move some shite around down where they were, since she had some of her studio gear there too and I didn’t want to fuck with it. she helped me move it around a bit and then I started in on the wax… more about that at the top though.
afterwards I had an interesting convo with my mum about my classes and San Francisco and Roman history, and then I told her I wanted to rent a movie, but my account at Hollywood has like $20 in late fees on it — bad, bad, BAD. asked her if I could rent on her account, but I didn’t know if I could rent on hers, so me, her, and my sis went down to the video store and went to rent a movie. We rented Lost in Translation, which I’ve wanted to see for a long time, and then we went to the market across the street. I wanted to get some chocomoloko and some kinda snack, and my mum wanted a peppermint patty so I got her one… and it was funny too, because my friend David from high school ended up working there. I kinda looked at him and I was like wtf, that’s David! He all look at me and he’s like, “…David?” and I’m like yeah, that’s me, what’s up? apparently he’s going to UO in the fall, which is good (don’t want to work at the market for the rest of your life), and then he goes “You look a little thicker than before…” I’m like “well, fuck, thanks!” he’s like “nah, i mean in the shoulders…” i knew he was fuckin with me, so it was chill, and so I said “have a good one, peace” and left.
went home and watched the movie. jesus, it was so fucking good. Scarlett was stellar in it, as always, and she is indescribably beautiful, and Bill Murray was as hilariously droll as he’s been in recent times, such as in The Royal Tenenbaums or most recently The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. it was a very moving film too, very poignant, and the ending was very bittersweet and mysterious. you could feel the sexual tension between the two onscreen too… some moments were so uncomfortable and awkward for them that you felt awkward too just watching them. it was a brilliant film, honestly, and I need to buy it ASAP… and I loved the soundtrack too. illamath’s ftp is down though, so I may actually have to fucking buy the OST… lol…
but yes, after I got done watching that, here I am. much love, and I’ll write more later. I heard one of the biggest thunderclaps I’ve ever heard about a minute or two ago, and there’s been lightning flashing back and forth for awhile too, and another thunderclap just hit just a sec ago. wonderful…. heheh…. I miss Chelsey… where are you? dunno, but she seems to have disappeared into thin air, and I hope nothing’s amiss. i almost finished listening to my Radiohead corpus too today, just by an album or so and I listened to a few songs today that reminded me of Katey… ahh…. nostalgia, the pain of returning memories. UB40 – “Can’t Help Falling in Love With You,” Van Morrison – “Brown-Eyed Girl,” and Shaggy – “Angel” are three songs that remind me of her I guess. long story, but anyone who’s read my “Discourse on Love” should know that one…. I’m sure I’ll make that an addendum to this when it’s in manuscript/book form otherwise, ask me if you want a copy.
love. death. eternity. faith. hope. fortitude. courage. trust. aether. dreamers. ad astra per aspera. moon safari. unbelievable journeys of the mind. our words will become us after we pass over as shades, our writing and our legacy will become who we are. i hope that we write the story of our lives with a certain degree of caution and care, but most of all with a sense of wonder and astonishment as each new thing comes up, and that in the end, it will all be worth it, and our words will become as eternal as our imperishable souls.
much love.
a shade must have entered my room, since the door just slid open of its own accord, creakily and creepily, revealing… a box of ginger snaps sitting on some boxes in the hall? weird. is this strange product placement and I’m on a TV show, or just a freak occurrence? you be the judge. unperturbed, i take a bite of my oh-so-lovely peanut butter toast (crunchy peanut butter, no less), and a swig of grape soda (who knew the two went together so well?), and contemplate putting in two more pieces, even though it is 3am now.
my mum hung some new curtains up across my windows; they’re all frilly and lacy and look really feminine, and i’m not exactly cool with that. it covers what the rest of the curtains don’t cover, i guess, so it’s alright, but they’ve been wide-open for the most part since she put the new shite in. nothing but stark darkness out there with my room and its light reflected in the window. maybe the grape soda and peanut butter are good because it’s like PB&J, you know? that might be it. i can’t tell, really, but it’s fucking good. i keep expecting something to land on the exposed window, screeching and writhing its ugly aspect at me, but nothing comes.
this is one of those witching hours, i guess. everyone says “oh shit man, i was up until 3am last night!” no matter what actual time it is, people use 3am as a time to wow their friends when saying how late they stayed up, or when some random person calls you (“man, some assclown called me at 3am”) and wakes you up — and you don’t actually know what time it really is — and it works in a plethora of other circumstances. it’s one of those flexible, elastic hours of the night which, when referenced, could be anywhere from 2am to 6am, depending on the person, or with some, even later. i guess i’ve just always found that funny. excuse me for a second while i load up some more peanut butter toast, because, if you didn’t know, i’ve only eaten bread today (two bagels earlier on, yes, with cream cheese, but it was at like 3pm for christ’s sake).
i should have taken my shoes off when i went back upstairs. the leather in my boots sounds like the cracking and snapping of some shambling corpse, and i’m sure it would frighten me if I heard it in the night. oh well, i hope i didnt wake the p&m up. anyways, back to the show. so I was listening to Air on the way to and from Jenn’s today — their album Moon Safari, to be exact — and fuck if that isn’t a brilliant album. relaxing, electronica grooves you can just sink into, uplifting and sunny but with their dark sides at the same time. Take “You Make It Easy” for example… during the melody and main verses of the song, which do repeat a bit, there is a romantic, slinky mood to it, and then when you get to the chorus: “You make it easy to watch the world with love / You make it easy to let the past be done / You make it easy…” — there’s where it takes a slightly sombre turn. It’s bittersweet, really — the girl singing seems to be happy that ‘he’ is making this easy, but at the same time, it seems gloomy or dejected. I dunno, maybe I’m reading too much into it… but I thought the juxtaposition was interesting.
i found myself thinking about some people’s arguments that music created on computers is not as creative or “real” as other kinds of music. as i drove up my dark road to get to my house, i guess that popped into my head. i realised that no, those arguments are bullshit. even though computers may give you a few shortcuts or etc., they still do not create the music for you. even with the most sophisticated computer software and samplers and all, to construct a brilliant song, you must have a rudimentary knowledge of a number of things. Harmonics, of course — what chords and notes sound good together, what pairs naturally, and even what doesn’t pair, that which is dissonant, for much experimental music makes use of dissonance. My main point though, really, is that it still takes a human being to craft these gorgeous songs, to add life and vibrance to them, to inject them with our humanity, which is what makes music so special in the first place.
as i was laying next to Jenn tonight, during a few moments of silence, I pondered about what silence really is, and what it means to me. silence is heavenly, really. I don’t think we get enough of it during our everyday bustle, and that is unfortunate, because everyone could use a bit of it. I know I talk about stars a lot, but think of laying out under the stars on a cool night, laying back and looking up at the heavens almost bursting with stars. the stars’ silence descends upon you; you offer them your silence, and they burn brightly as you gaze upon the hundreds and thousands of them in your view alone. in that case, it is a calming, tranquil silence, perhaps only interrupted by the occasional hooting of an owl or the noises of other nocturnal creatures. silence is a beautiful thing in that respect, neither terrifying nor deafening (deafening silence has always been an oxymoron to me too, but somehow it works on a metaphorical level; don’t ask me how).
now think of the same situation, but on a summer’s day like today, with the sun and lazy clouds rolling by as you look up at the brilliant sky. in that case, it’s also extremely tranquil, and you could easily fall asleep underneath that endless blue with patches of white. i dunno where i was going with this exactly, but i just thought about it I guess, and I think we all need a little bit more of that in our lives, and so I suggest you all try it sometime soon… just take a few moments, or more if you like, and try what I described. i dunno… it will help I think, or at least be calming. it seems all of our nerves are shot these days, anyways, so anything to calm them helps, right?
</philosophy>
it’s kinda sad, because all these days are running together for me now. i remember waking up around noon, and Jenn called, and I told her I’d come meet her for lunch. i didn’t want to initially, but fried rice lured me, and besides, I ended up sleeping late and didn’t get there until almost 14.00, which pissed her off, obviously… lol… i felt bad. she had wRk at 15.00 and wanted to meet me beforehand as I said, and so when I got there, I took some of her fried rice, because she couldn’t finish it. we sat and talked for a bit, but then she had to get going, obviously, and so I left when she did. drove back home, and I basically chilled the rest of the day.
did I mention how much I love Radiohead? well, i’ll go into that later.
i didn’t do too much except talk to people — I talked to Chelsey a lot as usual, and Rough, and even Katy a little bit. it seems i’ve gained quite a following on Myspace these days too, strangely enough. i guess a lot more people have been adding me and shite, which makes me happy, and I’ve been meeting really cool people. which helps me segue into my next part…. I got to talk to my new friend Amber on the phone last night! that was fucking ill. she is a real sweetheart… we talked for like 45min or so, i dunno, and it was fun! i always like meeting new people I guess, especially girls, lol but yeah… later on last night I tried playing Doom2 multiplayer with Chelsey and Rough. that shit was illy, because we actually got it working this time! after a reinstall of Doomsday, which is an XP port of the Doom/Doom2/Heretic/Hexen engine, I got it all set up and we played a bit. Ultimately, me and Chelsey were the only ones playing (I think it crashed on Rough), and so we played for awhile. i got to see her on cam too after that, which was nice… I’ve definitely been using my webcam more lately.
after she went to sleep, I think me and Rough played some Unreal Tournament online. I found copies of the game discs lying around in my closet, and I thought I’d fire them up to see if they worked on this system (hell, I got those discs years ago, and my comp wouldn’t even play UT)… and well, it works great! He started up a game, and we finally got it working multiplayer, and he beat the living shit out of me — I’m either rusty or I was never very good, and I think it’s the latter most likely. after that I think we both crashed, because it was like 5am… bleh. wednesday, 20 jul: alright, just to get the timeframe straight, because, well, when I’ve been writing lately, time has been very fluid and nebulous. i tried, tried, tried to wake up on time today, but I ended up having strange nightmares and waking up every hour, starting at 11am and ending at 14.00. i don’t remember the dreams really though… but they were strange, and again, like quicksand; couldn’t wake up from some of them. i didn’t truly wake up until much later, but i was on the computer, as has been my routine (i need to work on that a bit), and just chilled. claude called me around 17.00 and wanted to hang out: “dude, we goin to a movie?” “no… i don’t have money…” “well, we goin to a movie? you wanna come over and play xbox???” i was like fine, why not, fuck it. my mum bought some bagels to eat, and some goood cream cheese (whipped!), and so i ate both of them because i was hungry (i think i mentioned that before). I also decided that this would be a “Radiohead day” — where I start with the beginning (Pablo Honey) and listen through to their entire corpus of material, all the way up to 2003′s Hail to the Thief. I do that sometimes — especially with artists I don’t always listen to on a daily basis — and well, it makes me appreciate them more on an everyday basis too I think. I did that not too long ago with Live, who I don’t listen to as much as I should, and it’s always nice hearing those lovely sounds. I guess I don’t listen to all that much rock, so it’s more special when I do listen to it…
i’ve been broke for a week, or a few days at least, but it seems like an eternity. hence, i’ve been forced to eat at home more, and we don’t really have jack shit here, so i was surprised when we had the bagels. Chelsey called me right before I went over to Claude’s, and I thought that was sweet that she called — it was nice to talk to her, since I didn’t really get a chance to talk to her all day. She let me talk to her sis for a bit, which was interesting, lol… she seemed nice and fun to talk to. she’s actually going to PDX… U of Portland, that is, in the fall, which is cool — I hope she likes it there. anyways, I talked to Chelsey for a bit more, and then I had to go, since I told Claude I’d be over there around 20.00. I’d promised Jenn I’d see her after she got off of wRk too, so I needed to be at her place at midnight or so.
when I got to Claude’s, well, we played Xbox. Xbox gets fucking old after awhile, so we decided to fuck with some people online. Claude was talking shit to our friend Zack, and he was also talking to Rough for awhile, and I got on there too and started talking a bunch of bullshit to Zack and Rough. it was fucking hilarious, and I gave his other friend some shit too, just going off on him about being a Bush fan and shit… god, it was funny. he started talking about how he would “kill children in Iraq for fun” and “killing is fun” and I was like man, you sound like a fucking Nazi…. and I decided I’d probably kill the motherfucker if I ever met him. oh well. Zack blew up though about everything — apparently I was on one computer msging him and Claude was on the other on another screen name, and he just exploded.
after we did enough of that, which was unsurprisingly unfulfilling (it was downright boring after awhile, and pointless), Claude wanted to watch Leno and Letterman, and so I watched that with him, and eventually I needed to leave to go see Jenn. I drove across town and listened to Air, as I said, and flew down Claude’s hill at 70mph (yay!). when I got there, we talked and chilled and just spent time, and watched the last episode of Family Guy season 3… what ahilariously offencive episode. we just relaxed and talked and shite after that, spent some quality time, and I left around 02.30 or so (?). drove back and listened to Air on the way back too… brilliance… and well, I came back and started writing.
I think I’m going to get another grape soda and relax to some sounds of Radiohead… been listening to some more of it while I write this, and talked to Tonya a bit too… she is cool…. another girl I met on Myspace awhile ago, but barely talked to until recently (actually, she was never online really until recently… lol). after that, I’m going to crash, but hey, I might even work on some more of my Latin translation before I do so. I need to email the dept. head at SFSU probably and ask about what classes I should take for my first semester, actually, so I think I’ll do that first off. much love!
3 Comments
i don’t like light, it sucks, and the shade was me, (playing) actually i am part of the darkness forget it let me not explain, and 3 am my friends at my old school all use to lie and they think it is cool to be up late, actually it is kind of tiring, i use to stay up late, cause i was scared something might get me, then i realized something about the dark, ppl say they now i think too much, i guess u and i r alike in tht way, it is just nevermind again
i got you hooked up man. itll probably be easier to snail mail that bad boy. i can ship it priority too, so itll get there faster. ill let you know when im done with it.
i will write some later. havent had much time really, or the motivation yesterday at least. full of nightmares this morning, including one dealing with some random girl and her parents… weird. i will try to remember it all. much love, ill write later
1 Comment
hmmm, well, you got me on the quote. i have no idea. but please do enlighten me. it sounds kind of familiar but im still drawing a blank.
“it’ll be a perfect world if in two years, Britney Spears is working at Wendy’s…“
– claude
wahahaha…. god, that cracked me up so much I had to write it down. he said that shit just randomly on the phone today, and i was like dude, that’s so fucking priceless that I have to write it down, and so I did…. lmfao…. pZ.
These days my entries have been more fractured and less focused. Such is life. I do what I can to give a glimpse into my life, a snapshot if possible. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.
talk to me if you'd like to know something about me, or keep reading. I'm still a poor grad student and working on my PhD. I don't really know whether this will become a book anymore, but it's not wholly improbable.
feel free to drop me comments on here, or even an email at:
got back, and we sat down to watch Freddy 5, and it was a decent movie — the movies just keep getting stupider and stupider really, but they’re still fun for a laugh.
