Ξ Wednesday, 29 Jun 2005 at 05:35 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
NOTE: I’ve fixed all of the endnotes. They should work perfectly now since I transferred it from Xanga (06.49 Fri 30 Sep 2005)
Note: just fixed up one more thing, and now it’s ALL done (11.08 29 Jun 2005)
Alright, everyone. This is what you’ve been waiting for the entire time. I’m not just going to call this a magnum opus, but a maximum opus – one of my longest works to date. Hence I’ll try to split it up into various parts where I see fit, but first I’m going to do the full 54-page transcription, with even headings at the tops of the pages included. Page breaks will not correspond, but I’ll mark what’s at the top of each page in brackets ([]) most likely.
anyways, here goes nearly 2 weeks worth of writing!
I. AETATIS FINIS COEPITQUE ORDO NOVUS (the end of an age, and a new order begins)
[at the top of the page, I signed my name twice just for the hell of it]
Mon 13 Jun, early a.m. (approx. 5am)
well, it’s been a pretty dope week thus far, albeit a bit tiring. graduation was good – both it and the Phi Beta Kappa ceremonies were definitely cool. after going to Baccalaureate mass on Fri night, I can’t remember exactly what I did. well, first let me get focused and detail what happened with that.
after I got done w/some stuff, and more importantly, finished my final essay of my undergrad career (YAY!), well, I had to do some errands. first I needed to get my Phi Beta Kappa cord ($10.50) for the ceremony the next day, and then I went to Milky Way Bagels to get my fix. By “fix” I mean a toasted onion bagel and cream cheese. MY GOD that shit is fucking awesome! I’ve been going there after class or between classes almost every day for the past two years. Fucking good shit.
I also went to wRk to get my paycheck, and I then went to cash it at U Lane O. can’t remember what I did next, but I ended up going home and playing videogames I think. Jenn was going to come to Baccalaureate, but she ended up staying home since she didn’t have a car and I didn’t have time to pick her up. Oh well. so – a week or so ago my mum got my cap and gown for me, and so I put it on for Baccalaureate Mass. I had to be there at 16.30 so I tried to get there on time. all dressed – good.
When I got there I saw Paige w/a little kid in tow, and she came up and hugged me tight. it was good to see her! she said the kid was her little brother, and I said what’s up. she had to go back home for a few to get her stuff, and so I went to the chapel and checked in. a couple grads were up there already, and I introduced myself to one of them. otherwise I just stood around for awhile and said hi to friends, and then a bit before mass my grandparents arrived. I realised I forgot my Phi Beta Kappa cord, so I had my grandma call my mum and see if she could bring it for me. Luckily she did, and so I waited. we all eventually lined up outside the chapel. my dad and etc arrived soon, and then my mum came right in time to give me my PBK cord. a couple mins later we processed in in our line of twos and sat down in the front row. it was starting at 17.15 and so it was essentially a regular daily mass w/our graduation stuff @ the end.
A grad student who got his doctorate after 10yrs of college gave the speech, and it was a very well-done one. I don’t remember many of the particulars, but he talked about the significance of our caps and gowns. after that, and after communion, they started announcing our names, and after each name was announced, the person would come up in front of the altar. when I came up, my mum and sis were filming and taking pictures of me, and I stood up there and smiled.
They gave us a bouquet and a truffle (Euphoria, no less!) and everyone clapped for us. we stood up there for part of the closing song, and then processed out as we had come in. so afterwards, we went downstairs to the St. Dominic Rm., which we had our Mexico meetings in, and they had a feast prepared for us there. the garlic (?) bread, Swiss and cheddar cheese, and Martinelli’ Sparkling Cider were the fucking illest. They had wine too, which I tried later, but it was bloody caustic as hell. I doubt I will ever like wine, sadly.
I mingled with people, especially my friends and recent grads, and my mum must have gotten about 50 pics of me w/my friends, LOL. after we chilled for awhile, me and the fam decided to go get pizza for dinner. I took Anna and Claude with me (Jenn didn’t go) and we went to Roaring Rapids. They have some expensive shit, but it’s definitely worth the money. we got a deep-dish (yay!) double pepperoni and Canadian bacon pizza, and wow – it was so ill. I remember I saw the hottest chick there too, heh. Jenn woulda spotted her a mile away, hehe.
after we’d had our pizza, we were ready to go, and so we went our separate ways. I was planning on going to Jenn’s, but ended up not (more on that later). I took Claude back to Newman, where he left his car, and then me and Anna drove home. I then was planning to go to Jenn’s, and even got ready to go, but she said I’d see her the next day so it was OK. so I hung out and played some video games, and I think me and Anna hit 7-11 for some munchies before we watched a kungfu flick (“Karate Warriors”). I fucked around for a bit after that, talking online and such, but I decided I’d better go to bed fairly early since I had graduation the next day. well shit, wait, I watched Karate Warriors the night before – oh well. yeah, I watched part of “Rage of the Dragon” Friday night. That was it. so yeah, I went to sleep mad early – like before midnight I think. tired.
SAT 11 JUN: woke up at around 6.45 or so. my motherfucking dad (wow, that’s hilarious!) kept yelling at me to get up thru the intercom, and so I finally did around 7 or so. I took a shower and then got dressed in some pants and a polo shirt, and then put on my cap and gown. you see, I had my Phi Beta Kappa ceremony at 8am, so we needed to go fairly early. got ready, and waited for Jenn and Christine to come. when they got there, me and Anna drove with them, and got a pretty decent parking place there.
On a side note: it’s now 7am (7.15) and the sun just started (visibly) shedding its glorious rays. Just thought I’d let you know. “Look at little Derwin go!”
We went into the ceremony right about 8, and everyone was in line for breakfast. It consisted of bagels and croissants, and it was pretty good. there was nowhere to sit, really, though, yet we found a table to stand near, and hence I had my breakfast. after not too long, though, they started the actual ceremony. we all sat down in our assigned seats, alphabetically assigned, and they started with some opening remarks.
they then started the ceremony and started giving out certificates (in alphabetical order of course). We had to go up, give the VP the “secret handshake” which was pretty cool, and then sign our names in the book and receive our certificate. so we got thru all of that, and then they had a guest speaker. he made a pretty interesting speech, the details of which did not stick with me, and then the ceremony was over.
By now it was ~9.15, and my actual graduation was at 10. we all (me, Jenn, Christine and Anna) went over to the EMU to get some bottled water, and then went over near Condon where my graduation was. checked in, and then went over to talk to some of my friends.
My friends Paul and Carla were there, since Carla was graduating in Religious Studies, and I talked to them for awhile. I also saw a few other friends, such as my friend Emily, who is actually graduating in the fall in Classics but walked anyways. My friend Mike was there too; he graduated in religious studies also. they started the event, and a prof from religious studies spoke first – I’d had him for a class, and he was a pretty cool guy. After that, I think Lowell from Classics spoke and started announcing the Classics grads. My friend Chad just got his Master’s in Classics, and Malcolm, one of my favourite profs, talked a bit about him and teased him (“roasted,” apparently). after that, she [Lowell] started announcing the B.A. Classics students, and I went up there, shook her and Malcolm’s hands, and they gave me my diploma cover. Apparently they send your diplomas in the mail, unfortunately. Oh well.
After they got through everyone, another one of my profs, John, who I’d had for history a couple years ago, spoke and well, yes, spoke. he made a semi-interesting speech, and then he started announcing the Humanities majors and etc. eventually it ended around 11, and then we all got some food (same as at ΦΒΚ) and then we left. Jenn and Christine went home, and I went with my parents back home.
I then went to a BBQ about an hour later. beforehand, though, Kim (my mum’s best friend and a longtime family friend) came over and congratulated me on my graduation. She gave me $50 for it, which was great, and I thanked her of course. messed around on the comp for awhile, and then I drove over to Malcolm’s for the barbecue.
It started fairly humbly, and Malcolm and some parents were in the front room of the house. I went and hung out with the younger people, like Chad, Logan and Dave – 3 friends from Latin classes. We just sat around the table with beers and shot the shit. Eventually some more people came, especially professors. It wasn’t an especially noteworthy party, though, but I stayed for a few hours anyway. I guess I don’t have all that much to say about it for that reason. Afterwards, I went over to cash my $50 check, and I then went over to Best Buy. I’d printed out my DVD wishlist beforehand, and so I knew some DVDs I wanted.
[handwritten page 5: sublimem feres ad sidera caeli magnanimum Aenean written at the top; translation: “You will bear great-souled Aeneas on high to the stars of heaven” – from Aeneid 1 (line# unsure).]
I went there, and for about $70 I got four classic fucking movies: Trainspotting, which I saw when I was about 15 or so – bloody great movie. Chappelle’s Show season 2 – nuff said – I’ve been waiting for it forever. Soylent Green – “It’s people!” – fucking great. Last but not least – one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen – Bubba Ho-Tep – with Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead fame. God I laughed so fucking hard at that movie!
Anyways, after that I was supposed to pick up Jenn so we could go to my grandparents’ for my fam party. I started talking to her on the phone, tho, and we got into an argument because she was pissed I’d spent $70 on flicks. She also told me she thought she was pregnant, which scared the shit out of me, but she told me the test she took to make sure was negative. Hmm…well we were sorta pissed at each other by then, but I decided to come over and get her anyways, and so I did.
went over, we talked, I apologised, we made up. Then we got over to my grandparents’ around 17.30, and they had some burgers almost done. We ate and all, and my cousins (?) David and Cathy were there too, and they gave me another $50 (actually, they were at graduation too and gave me the $ then). Jenn made some bomb-ass white rainbow-frosted cake (the illest shit ever), and I had two big pieces of that. My parents and everyone else got me presents for graduation, and it was all very practical. i.e. – a mattress pad for the Mexico trip, some stuff for SF (a chest full of towels and etc.), a book of Greek proverbs (γάμου γάρ ἀνθρώποισι κακόν εὐκταῖον1), and also a piece of luggage from Larry, which even includes a laptop case.
My grandparents also gave me $50, and it was to go toward Mexico. after awhile though, about 19.30, we needed to get going, and thus we went to Jenn’s, since people were going to be coming at 9 probably. However, we had to pick Claude up because his car blew up, and so that was a stop on the way there. We got to Jenn’s, and Christine was there drinking already, lol, and so we sat down and chilled. I started calling some people to see if they were coming, yet most were still tentative.
II. CONVIVIUM (party/feast)
[top of handwritten page 6: φιλία, “love”]
I called Zack and Paul, and both ended up not being able to come, but oh well – it was understandable. Both wanted to come but didn’t know how they’d get there or home. Oh well. Jenn’s friend Wendy came over first off, and she asked if we had any beer. No – so I went out and got some. Corona, Heineken (“keg cans”), and Exotic Berry wine coolers for the girls. When I got back, I opened up a Heineken and tried it, but it wasn’t all that good. I gave the other half to Claude, who chugged it, and I poured myself a screwdriver. Apparently that’s what they call vodka and orange juice. I still had a significant amount of my strawberry Smirnoff left, so I made one for myself. Fucking good.
Actually, the party, like others I’ve tried to throw, was kind of a bust. A couple more of Jenn’s friends came: Tabby and Jennie, but otherwise, none of my friends came. Jenn’s cousin Lizzi was there too; apparently she’d crashed the night before. Otherwise no one came, yet it was still a fun party. My 2nd vodka I had I tried to take straight. Fuck, it was strong by itself! I tried some and I just had to put some OJ in it to make it taste better. We were all sitting around, and oh yeah, Christine’s ex Dan came over too, and he didn’t say shit to anyone except me and her. For some strange reason, Lizzi keeps her sugar gliders (they look like flying squirrels) in her bra, and she gave a couple to Tabby and Jennie to hold and play with. Both of them stuck them in their bras, which was fucking ill as hell – I was astonished – and they both seemed content with these small animals in their wondrous cleavage, LOL! that amused me way too much, apparently. I kept drinking my vodka, and then, for the hell of it, I decided to try to take a larger sip. Bad idea. Honestly, I did that and a second later I gagged. Fuck, it was strong. I just about puked, too, when I went into the bathroom, but a few later I was OK and started drinking again.
Around midnight or so, everyone got pretty tired (or bored), and Wendy had to go to work. Jennie and Tabby eventually left too, but Jennie told me she had Myspace and so I told her to add me. She said she knew Dalene too, and Dalene told me before that she knew Jennie, so it was old news. Well, by this time, Christine and Dan had went into her [room – strange, I forgot to write that on my notebook].
[top of handwritten page 7: insidiae, “treachery”]
They were in there alone, and Dan said he was going to stay the night. Fuck. I realised that perhaps this had been his plan all long, but I dunno. I love Christine to death, but she really shouldn’t have let him in again – he is not a good match for her at all, and she knows that – she knows better. *sigh* but I wash my hands of it – I can’t tell her what to do.
Anyways, me and Jenn went to sleep not long after. Claude had to get a ride home, though, so we had to work that out. I was pretty drunk, and thus I couldn’t drive him back. He was all tripping out, but he finally got a ride from his dad. so me and Jenn went to bed, and yeah, didn’t sleep right away. heh. It was a rather long night.
III. AD PUELLAM FAMILIAMQUE VALE MEAM (goodbye to my family and my girl)
SUN 12 JUN: Didn’t get out of bed until nearly noon. had some cocoa pebbles for brunch. I left Jenn’s at about 1, and I took her to her cousin Lindsay’s graduation party. After that, I went back home and chilled. I was supposed to pack, but I ended up watching Chappelle season 2 – Rick James especially. The outtakes were ill – they had some nudity in parts even. anyways, after that I chilled on the computer for a bit – said goodbyes to some friends and such.
well, later we had burgers, and then I went off to church; Jenn was meeting me there. She thought I was already packed for Mexico, though, so she was kinda pissed when I told her I wasn’t. It was OK though, and she sat with me and Claude at the front of the church. Church was good as always, and they honoured us going to Mexico at the end. Me and Jenn left right after, though, since I had to pack still. Hence we started packing, and my mum helped me a lot with it. Me and Jenn snuggled some and spent some quality time, and around 10pm we left to go to Walmart to get some things I forgot to get. Got some random shit there, such as toothpaste and etc. Afterwards we went to Taco Bell and got some dinner, and parked and ate. Some poor bastard pulled over for a cop at Dari-Mart nextdoor, and that was fairly entertaining. When we were done, I drove over to Newman.
[top of handwritten page 8: φόβος, “fear” and φάος, “light, safety”, both Gk.]
SUN 12 JUN/MON early a.m. – got to Newman, and said bye to Jenn and goodnight. went inside and talked with people and all, and also tried to read a bit of my Frost book. however, most people went to sleep early, around midnight.
A very curious thing happened when I went in to set up my sleeping bag. Kristin said that there was some “sketch” guy outside with a cellphone walking around. I looked out the window when I went in the room I was sleeping in, and I saw the guy. He was out there, pacing, with a cellphone glowing in one hand, and he kept walking in a tight arc around the sidewalk outside. He looked like a shambling zombie in the almost-nonexistent light, and I could see why the girls had been slightly creeped out. I must have watched this cat on and off for at least 40mins, and he really didn’t deviate too much from his little circuit. It even began to creep me out a bit, cos I half-expected him to come to the window and press up against the glass or something like a zombie. He was even out there at 2am, and I kept seeing him in my periphery.
IV. VENIT VELOCITER AURORA (morning comes rapidly); KINGSBURG
The morning came with a sense of gravitas. Father D came thru our room around 4am and turned on the lights, so I woke up around then. Got all of my stuff packed up, and was ready to go. The charter bus got here around 04.45, and I felt a sense of wonder and amazement at the whole idea of going to Mexico. It seemed like such a liminal moment, crossing a threshold to a new, glorious world, almost like κατάβασις2. Not descent into the underworld, but rather entrance through shining gates (πύλαι φαίδιμαι) into a world of fantastic possibility. stepping upon the bus, it then became apparent that we’d left for real, and Eugene would be rapidly falling away from my sight.
We raced south through the morning fog, weaving to and fro on a wending I-5, and sped through a country of lush, verdant hills, mountains looming on nearly all sides, and sought the glittering dawn. I thought of Phaethon as I saw the nitid sun rising in the early dawn, and his flaming descent after being struck by Jupiter’s thunderbolt.
[top of handwritten page 9: ἀγλαόν ἦτορ, “shining heart” (Gk.)]
Sleep sought me, but in the name of ποίησις3 and the glorious Muses, I pushed ́Hypnos away. I fell asleep at around 2am as I said, and got ~2hrs of sleep thus far. Just now fatigue took me for a few, but I don’t think I actually fell asleep. Hence I’ve written these (almost) 9 pages for you, my faithful readers, but mainly for myself – in hopes of preserving these precious moments through aeternitas.
We stopped briefly for a break and to stretch our legs, and then had breakfast on the bus around 8.30 or so. Nothing real eventful happened in the last few hours really – we watched Aladdin (boring…) and also had lunch a couple hours ago. Lunch was fucking good – I had a ham/swiss/cheddar sandwich – very very good. Otherwise I’ve been trying to meet new people. I met this girl Keely (sp?), who interestingly enough is from Port Angeles. I told her my grandma lives there and such, and so we talked a bit about all that. small world, eh?
Anyways, I’m finally done for now! I’m either going to read some Robert Frost or try to sleep. Due to my thirst (almost intolerable, it seems) for knowledge, it will probably be the former. pZ.
[signature, followed by: 13.50 13 Jun 05 (-0800 UTC)]
The wheels just keep turning, inside and out. You know – those in the mind, but those on the bus too. I’m really inspired and full of ideas, but alas, my writing isn’t as fast as my mind. argh, well – too many distractions.
You’ll get my “starry mountain” treatment later.
[signature, followed by: 15.56 13 Jun 05]
[top of handwritten page 10: λόγος, “word” (Gk.)]
MON 13 JUN ~20.55
Back on terra firma finally. We got here around 6pm, and had dinner pretty much right when we arrived. Roast beef sandwiches and fried chicken! I don’t really like roast beef at all, but I ate it out of respect, and also because it was all we will get. The fried chicken was pretty ill too. I talked to a couple girls during dinner, Brianne and Claire, and they were pretty interesting to talk to.
After that, we basically had some time to wander around, but Father D wanted us to help unload some supplies that a local pastor in Kingsburg donated. I forgot to mention that we’re staying in Kingsburg, CA, which is Father Dave’s hometown, and tomorrow we’ll be staying in San Diego. For the time being, D wanted us to get some boxes from the store down the street so we could pack up some of these supplies. First, though, we all set up our beds and all – pads, sleeping bags, pillows – and I had to blow up my new mattress pad. Jesus, it feels good to lay on – I’m laying on it right now actually. Thanks Mum and Gaga and Papa! well, my p&m and grandparents helped buy it for my trip. Thank God.
well, I set out with Melissa [I.], Tyler (not the peer minister), Brooke and Kyle, and we went to the store down the street to try and get boxes. They were out though – some elementary school had cleaned them out. Oh well – so, down the road ~a mile to Albertsons. We actually got some boxes there, and came back triumphant but very tired (vicimus sed lassatissimi sunt). packed up the boxes and then I decided to write this little bit here, but I must go – I’ve been writing nearly all day. much love.
[signature, followed by: MON 13 JUN 05 21.19]
V. AD ANGELUM CIVITATEM ITER ET EXTRA (journey to the city of angels [Los Angeles] and beyond)
TUE 14 JUN 12.20
we woke at dawn. around 6am, and yet I didn’t get out of bed until around 7. my mattress pad that my parents bought me wasn’t as good as I thought it’d be, but it was better than nothing. last night I went to sleep fairly early – perhaps around 10pm or so. most of us, including me, were bloody exhausted from the day in general. I think many of us fell into the sweet arms of Sleep quickly. [Hopefully you all will excuse my handwriting, since I’m in the bus right now en route to San Diego. You see, I plan on transcribing this all to put on my blog, naturally. However, I also plan on scanning each and every page so you can see my handwriting – or perhaps laugh at how bad it can be sometimes. I hope you all enjoy in any case.]
not long after we woke up, we went into the church nextdoor to have mass around 07.45. it was short and sweet, and we all gathered around the altar as we do back home, so that was nice. all of us couldn’t wait for the feast that awaited us, however, for breakfast. The Knights of Columbus, which apparently is a Catholic fraternal organisation, prepared all of our breakfast for us. all of us being hungry as could be, we descended upon the food voraciously. They had ham (one of my recent favourites), eggs, potatoes, toast, cereal, and of course plenty of milk. Anyways, I had about two helpings of it all, and it was divine.
we left shortly after breakfast. we’d packed the bus beforehand when we got up, so it was all good. when I got on there, I found my seat and a soft exhaustion lighted upon me, and I decided to try to get some sleep. I tried to talk to some people, but most were not that talkative, probably tired as I was. In Mexico I think we’ll bond more. I guess I’m just feeling pretty tired and out of it right now. We watched the rest of “The Incredibles,” which we’d watched the night before, and then after awhile they turned on a movie called “The Mission,” which is still on right now. We stopped a bit before the Grapevine mountains, took a break at a rest area, and now we’re a bit outside LA. not much more to say at the moment.
much love.
[signature, followed by: Tue 14 JUN 12.49]
TUE 14 JUN 15.45
well, a couple stops and another movie later, we’re almost to San Diego. It’s a whimsical, misty day out there, foggy and slightly cold. Just the way I like it. This is more the Southern California I’d like to see. We went thru LA without much fanfare. Actually, I heard that we tried going around LA instead of through, which may have saved some time. Right now, everyone is playing music – Olly is sitting next to me and playing guitar.
I was pondering this a bit earlier, and I hope it isn’t the case. I wonder sometimes if I’ve become too introverted, too inwardly reflective, with the result that I’ve neglected the outside world. I don’t think so, but I wonder. I know that I’ve become a lot more articulate in conveying my feelings as a result of keeping a journal/blog, but I don’t know if I’ve become too reflective as a result. I tend to think about things to write a lot, just randomly during the day, and I’m constantly inspired it seems. I dunno, perhaps I’m crazy. I shouldn’t write so much really, at least not here. I don’t want to be antisocial, you know. in any case, much love. peace.
[signature, followed by: Tue 14 Jun 15.56]
VI. FABULA IN SANCTO DIEGO SCRIPTA (a story composed in San Diego)
Tue 14 Jun 22.05
love. pure, unadulterated love. darkness. shades flying around in the lovely gloom. hazy brownish twilight. it’s almost – well, it is – full dark out. I’m writing this outside the church we’re staying at, writing in the gloom of the eaves outside. Mike and Kersten seem to be having a theological discussion out here, and I’m just a lowly poet, writing away silently with my deft pen and hopefully setting forth immortal words.
although our existence is but transitory, only a blink of the cosmic eye, our words and thoughts can transcend our fleshly bodies and pass into the untarnished, immortal realm. May the Muses on high Helicon bless my song and guide my inquiring mind as I try to immerse myself in wondrous, clarion song.
This is handwritten page #13. What a lovely number. τρισκαιδεκαφόβια4 – anyone scared? anyways, back to my musing. the sky is that hazy brown colour usually seen very late at night. can’t even see the lovely stars out tonight. I’ve still got that picture in my mind, of that mountain against a lovely starry sky above the much-billowing (πολυφλοίσβος θάλασσα) sea. you know, I was going to write this later, but I feel really inspired at the moment. here goes.
almost like Dante, I lay beneath the lovely, glittering stars on a clear, cloudless night. suddenly got up and looked around me. I lay in the clearing of a dark wood, the shadowy recesses of which lay in all directions before me. to the west, however, lay a steep mountain, rugged but covered with the rest of the wood I lay in. I felt very lonely all of a sudden, as if I were the only living thing for miles, which was probably true. I felt an incredible sense of peace at the same time, though, as I looked at the placid, lovely star-filled sky above me.
They shone down upon me with their cold, radiant light, and my soul was filled with joy at such a brilliant sight. sky and earth were one in the dark night, and my heart soared in the celestial light. I walked towards the summit of the mountain, going deeper into the tenebrous wood. The moon poured out its glorious, refracted rays, stolen from the sun, and I put my hand up to the ethereal moonlight. moonlight is not an easy thing to hold, for if you should move just a tiny bit, it will be lost to you. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen starlight by itself either, or much less it poured out upon the earth. The best we get of those far-off luminaries consists of those brilliant pinpoints of light, holes in the dark sheet of the universe, almost as if a terribly bright light lay just beyond the umbrous veil.
I kept walking deep in the woods, among frightening sets of luminous eyes peering out of the darkness, and the low hoots of owls in the tall, dark trees. The creatures of the night ceased to terrify me, however, as they left me alone while I walked down a lonely trail through the overgrown wood. Would that the gods above might protect me from all evils, and Selene shine her lovely beams upon my trackless route to help me on my way, and the same for the immortal stars.
It must have been midnight or so when I emerged in another clearing, this one much further up the mountain. I looked down over the path I had come, and now I could see the calm sea below, shining with the light of the moon and a hundred thousand stars. I almost wanted to dive into that starry water to see if I could grab handfuls, but alas, it was not possible. I looked at the star-filled sea and up at the starry heights above the mountain, which itself seemed to touch the sky. I kept walking upwards towards the summit, then, and the traveling got easier with each step, surprisingly. the night was filled with shimmering stars, and darkness filled in the cracks. The rest of the mountain was clear and free of the dark, lovely wood so far below, and had grass and rocks strewn randomly along the fairly disused path.
As I got to the summit, I looked all around, and I could see for miles and miles in every direction. The sky was still cloudless, and the stars twinkled and smiled upon me. I had finally reached those starry heights I longed for, and the sea foamed even further below, slowly eating away at the crags of the mountain I was atop. I lay down on the fairly soft ground and looked heavenward, full of joy at such perfectly beautiful sights. content with everything, I wanted to look at the stars and try to decipher their meanings, the hidden messages that may or may not lie in that great expanse of heavenly bodies.
I didn’t want to fall asleep under such a wondrous sky, and thus I stayed up all through that glorious night, not wanting to miss a thing. When the sun began to peek over the horizon and the dark began to rise from its slumber, I decided it was time to go to sleep. I figured I would sleep the rest of the day away and wake up in time for the moonrise and the triumphant return of the stars. I truly felt like a creature of the night, clothed in a cloak of brilliant, shining stars.
Wow. OK – well, I’ll write more tomorrow perhaps. Time to return to the real world – sadly there are clouds over everything, so all that came out of my overactive imagination. Olly wants to hear about my story I just wrote, so I’ll be back later. pZ.
VII. EXIT SAN DIEGO; MEXICAN BORDER
[signature, followed by: TUE 14 JUN 23.05]
WED 15 JUN 20.56
woke up early, around 5 or 5.30. we needed to be out of San Diego by about 6.45, and we ended up leaving around 7. I got a hot shower the night before, which was illy, and then I went to bed around midnight. Olly and Andrew were telling jokes around a circle when I came back from writing, and so I sat there and listened and cracked up.
I remember when I stepped into the dark hallway, or rather antechamber outside the main room, I groped around for the right path and eventually found it. This antechamber housed the bathrooms, which in turn housed the showers. At the end of it, straight ahead stood a door, and I pushed it open into an eerie hallway. While it was still daylight we had walked this hallway before,but it took an ominous, gloomy, almost infernal aspect while clad in shadow. A green EXIT sign bathed the eerie hallway with its unearthly light, and dark doors grinned at me as I walked by.
[top of handwritten page 16: θάνατος τε καί φόνος, “death and murder” (Gk.)]
I embraced the tenebrous gloom, however, and smiled as I walked to my room. I got my toiletries and brushed/flossed my teeth, and then went back to my room. sleeping bag was all setup and everything, so I took my shirt off and hopped in, drifting off to sleep not long after.
I woke up fairly confused and somewhat tired, and was soaked with sweat. Justin and Tyler, two guys who slept in the same room (we had bunkbeds) said I snored the loudest they’d ever heard. I was verily embarrassed then, but I laughed it off. Would that it doesn’t happen tonight! We got some breakfast and all, and then got ready to hit the road in the vans. Someone had hit the window with a rock, which was hit by a Frisbee and bounced up, and so the window shattered – we had to get a new van. I’m rather sad I didn’t get to witness that hilarious spectacle.
Otherwise, it was uneventful, and we got off to a rousing start. I was in Andrew’s van, and I sat in the back on the right, Andrew on the left, and Claire between us. It turned out the seatbelt on the right didn’t work, and so I had to make do without. We packed the vans pretty full, and thus had some cereal in boxes packed in a box right behind Claire’s head. Bad idea – as we began moving and started going, it became apparent that it was not the best place for it. It actually hit her in the head twice (?), which I felt really bad about (because I couldn’t stop it in time), so we moved it up into the seat in front of us after awhile. Anyways, we all talked and everything in the back and were having a good time. We reached the border and they let us right through – then we were in glorious Mexico! well, not so glorious, at least Tijuana.
We pushed on, and then we noticed soon that the luggage atop one of the vans was beginning to tilt off to one side. Not good. We all stopped for a bit, and we found that it was raining too, surprisingly, and fixed the offending luggage. After a short stop we were back on the road. Andrew, as usual, was up to some hilarious antics for awhile. He got on the walkie-talkie that we used for intervan communications, and he kept spewing the most hilarious shit. He kept saying, “This is ZANZIBAR” or “This is Sean Connery – haven’t you seen my movies?” He started calling Claire “sugarbutt” or “sugar mama” which was fucking hilarious as well. I swear, this must have gone on for a couple hours at least – well, at the very least, an hour. I think, on a diff note, we were protectors for Claire that day, from falling cereal boxes to bumpy roads (more on that later). We drove through lush, verdant countryside, and many of these places looked wonderful to live in.
We were planning on stopping at a mission to have mass and lunch, but we really had a hell of a time finding it. First, we thought we passed it, so we turned around outside this small village school. The kids, I heard, saw Dave, an adult on our trip, who has a huge white beard, and they yelled “HO HO HO! SANTA CLAUS!” That was pretty hilarious. Now the kicker, however. We started off towards this mission that was on a very steep hill, and we follow Father D’s van up there. Everything got very bumpy, and it felt like an amusement park ride – I thought it was fun. It kind of scared Claire, though, and I told her it’d (and we’d) be okay, and asked if she was alright. The place ended up being a bust, but since we couldn’t turn around, Dismas started backing down this VERY STEEP HILL. I think we all freaked out a little then, but he backed up into a small road off of the main one and we turned around.
We finally took a tortuous road to the mission of San Vicente, and when we arrived, Father D talked to the owner/caretaker and we went in. We looked around the site, which consisted only of ruins of an ancient 1700s monastery/mission, and then we had the honour of holding mass where the ancient altar was purported to be. after that, we had a good lunch (ham and Swiss!!), and eventually got on our way after thanking the caretaker.
By now we were in the home stretch, and perhaps 2hrs from Vicente Guerrero, so we chilled until we got there and had a hell of a lot of fun in the van. Apparently to my dismay I got slightly sunburned during mass, since we were all exposed to the early-afternoon sun, but oh well. Andrew told me about how Zack had gone up to the horse at the mission and tried to pet it, and it almost started chewing his arm off. He said right before that, “Don’t worry, I have a way with horses!” I laughed my motherfucking ass off when Andrew told me that – my God it was too funny. We all started making shit up that he’d say – like “I have a way with kids” while the kids here would be beating the shit out of him or something.
Let me gloss a bit about my boy Zack. He is seriously one of the coolest cats I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. Even when we all give him shit nearly all the time, he loves it and most of the time thinks it’s hilarious. I told him too, “man, we love you to death, you’re fucking awesome, you know we love to give you shit” and he’s like “Yeah, it’s all good.” Anyways, he is a cool motherfucker and always will be.
VIII. ARRIVAL AT VICENTE GUERRERO
I just kinda sat back musing and drifting between waking and sleep while Andrew resumed his “Zanzibar” act. Before I knew it, we had arrived at Vicente, and pulled up to the monastery I knew so well. My excitement at possibly staying there was short-lived, however, since we left not long afterwards for where we were really staying. We drove a couple miles down the road to a school called Instituto California, which is where we’re staying. It is a high school here in town, and the boys sleep upstairs, girls down (ἄνω….κάτω5). We got our stuff unloaded and threw it in its proper places, and decided to chill for awhile and enjoy our new home away from home.
I sat there and talked to everyone, especially Danielle and Justin and a few others, and we were all playing games outside and having the time of our lives. By now it was around 16.30 or so, and we were to have dinner at 19.00. We all chilled for 2 hours then, and at 18.30 we got together for evening prayer. That took about 20-25mins, and we headed over to where we were going to eat then.
They made us tostadas, the people living in a house right next to the school, and they were bloody good. A bit too much lettuce though, but I picked a lot of it off. Me, Olly, Zack, Danielle, Justin, Kevin (?) and Dismas sat at the “cool” table, and I got chocolate milk (milk w/Nestle Quik) in addition to tostadas. We all had good conversations, and eventually went back to the school.
This is some of the little downtime we’ll get, and well, I’m writing. I chilled with a bunch of people downstairs outside, but I felt I had to write about what’s happened today. Oh yeah – Kersten is reading Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse (author of Demian, brilliant), and she recommended I read it after she’s done, yay! she seems like a really sweet girl, and I really want to get to know her better on this trip. anyways, I’m sitting in the gloom, writing reluctantly by flashlight upstairs outside our room. enough for now – I need to return to society. much love.
[signature, followed by: Wed 15 JUN 22.13]
THU 16 JUN 21.25
I was incredibly inspired just now, so I thought I had to write while that inspiration lasts. All throughout this day – or rather, through most of it since this afternoon – 3 glorious Latin words have been stuck in my head: SIC FATUR LACRIMANS. “Thus he spoke, crying.” I believe they are the first three of Aeneid VI but not sure. All I know is that they popped into my head randomly, and I yearned to read some Vergil, or even Latin in general. I thought of the glorious De rerum natura of Lucretius, and its glorious hexameters too.
wow, it’s been a long day. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so peaceful, except on the last trip here. plenus amoris6 and all, just brimming with it. it’s really crazy, actually. today I realised that everything, almost everything, is significant to me. Nearly every experience seems epic to me, out of a glorious movie or something, even though it may be the most unimportant thing to others. I’m inspired by so many different things these days, and well, I’m compelled to write about it all. I don’t know where all of it comes from sometimes – I guess directly from the soul – or so I’d like to think.
Mike said that this trip “brings out the very best” in everyone, and I really think that is true in a very real sense. I think all of us are definitely bonding, and I have nothing but good to say about everyone. I think everyone’s best qualities are all shining through, and I’ve been laughing and happy just about every minute since we left. A lot of the feelings I’ve been having are indescribable, and I’m trying to get them all down if possible. a grasshopper walks across the ground in front of me, the sickly light shining upon it from above. everything is very mystical.
I worry I’m going to end up writing too much, and perhaps staying away from people. I’ve mulled over this every night since I got here, and I realised that it’s okay either way. In any case, I’ve got to set forth today’s events, lest my memory fail me at some point and I forget what has happened on these magical days.
IX. LABORE COEPTO (work having been started)
We woke at dawn. Apparently I snored like hell again, and I said fuck it, I don’t care if I do. I laid in bed until about 7.45, and then asked Tyler, “Hey, isn’t breakfast at 8?” He said, “Yeah, but they aren’t back yet, let’s sleep in.” Bad idea. Father D bust in at 8 and said, “Cmon, get up, we’ll be late for breakfast!” I felt like an idiot, and I jumped up and got ready to face the day. We ran over to the house to eat breakfast, went in, and sat down. They made spicy eggs with hotdog (?) slices in them, and beans of course, complemented by many, many tortillas. I surprisingly ate all of it, and was fairly content. had to take a piss real bad though afterwards, so I ran to the bathroom.
[random scribblings at the top of the page. I think one of them was an upside-down pentagram and I crossed it out.]
got back and got ready to go to work. apparently I was to be watering plants around the school, until we found out it was a 4-person job and the rest of us went over to paint with some others. we had to prep the bars on the windows outside the girls’ room for painting. This sounds easy, but like everything else in Mexico, it’s never that simple. We had to sand down every part of every bar, and they gave us sandpaper to do so.
I started on one section with Kevin, and I proceeded to get all of the paint off of each bar. I don’t think I did much more than three or four in about as many hours. However, we decided we’d start painting even though we hadn’t finished sanding yet. Before we went out, I got some sunscreen on and put on my gloves, which helped immensely. So, we started painting and all – I am not that good of a painter, but it was just black paint, so it wasn’t that hard. We kept at it for awhile, and I think I went in to put some more sunscreen on around noon. However, lunch was at 13.00, so I didn’t work that much longer before then. We got ready and headed over to the house for lunch.
We had an interesting mix of potatoes, chicken, and beans for lunch – with plenty of tortillas, of course. Wasn’t too eventful. After lunch we had a bit of time to chill and all, and then we went back to painting. Kept at it, and we kept working until about 5pm. Painting was fun, and I was kind of off in my own little world.
It was at some time during the day that I heard about the funniest shit ever. Mike said that a cockroach had dropped from the window onto the floor right next to him, and he smashed it right away. Everyone said it sounded like he’d smashed his iPod or something, since it was so loud. Actually, that was the 2nd funniest. The funniest was when the other Mike (T.) and Zack and some others were in the room.
[top of handwritten page 22: ἀθάνατος, “undying, immortal” and φάος, “light, safety” (both Gk.)]
Mike said, “OK guys, I’m going to get naked here in the corner, so if you want to look, I’ll be right here.” (I’m paraphrasing). Zack said to me, “I’ll give you $1 if you look at Mike’s ass.” I told him, “Maybe for $10.” All of a sudden, perfect timing, Andrew hopped in the door and proclaimed, “I’ll do anything … if you pay me.” We were honestly laughing our asses off over that.
We finally finished painting close to 6, and then I chilled for about an hour before dinner. It’s weird, but I can’t remember this all that well. We ended up having enchiladas for dinner, and they were pretty good. Lou played music for us on his accordion, and we sang some music after dinner, which he accompanied too. Afterwards, we went over to do our “spiritual activity” around 20.15.
We started out by getting in a circle, and they wanted us to sing a weird version of Alleluia. Then we danced around and did what they said: handshake, hug, rub the back of the person next to you. After all that, we were going to do readings and music after each (3 in toto), and thus we did. I sat down in front of Danielle and Justin, and then Danielle said I could lay my head in her lap, which I did. I felt a wave of calm peace wash over me as I lay cradled there, and I smiled up at the brownish sky as I listened to the readings. During the music I just listened to Danielle – she really has a gorgeous voice, and I wanted to listen to it. Her voice filled my world as I looked upon that troubled night sky, and I felt anything but troubled – I was about to fall asleep.
Afterwards I got this [my journal] out and have been working on it on and off ever since. Everyone asked me about my plans for this, and I told them of my aspirations to make it into a book. Then Ann[e]-Marie and Andrew started trading “poop stories” as I sat there, so I had to lay one of my own on the table:
When I was in 4th (and 5th) grade, we used to leave turds in the toilet for others to come and flush, and so we took joy in flushing these “Mississippi Muds.” One day, however, me and some friends came in and saw a little kindergartner taking a shit in the urinal. We started laughing our asses off of course!
in any case, it’s been a long fucking day, and everyone is going to sleep, so I shall let Hypnos take me too. night all.
I love you Jenn.
[signature, followed by: Thu 16 JUN 23.40]
X. FINGI COMMUNITAS COEPIT (community begins to be formed)
[top of handwritten page 23: all Latin words arranged in a cross-shape (coincidental): on top, amor (“love,”); bottom, lux (“light”); left, pax (“peace”); right, veritas (“truth”); middle, mors (“death”)]
FRI 17 JUN 22.40
wow. every single day here has been more brilliant and wonderful than the last. love, light, truth, peace (as I wrote above) – the trip has been full of all four. as I write this my hands and much of my body is caked with dirt, but I’ve never felt cleaner otherwise. mentally, spiritually – everything is glorious.
we just did a “spiritual activity,” which is something we will do every night, and I sat transfixed. we did an icebreaker to begin with, where we basically played “Duck Duck Goose” with tropical fruits. We all had a lot of fun with that, but then we got down to business. Ann[e]-Marie had a ball of yarn, and she held it as she asked a question: how have you seen God on the trip thus far, and how we might take that feeling home.
After each person talked, they’d throw the ball of yarn across the circle to someone, who would then go next. I was transfixed, as I said, by everyone’s thoughts on the trip. The fact that nearly all of them echoed my own sentiments underscored just how much of a cohesive, bonded group we’ve become in the last 4 days. I was so inspired by everything that I had to write right (almost) afterwards.
[random scribbles at the top of the page]
I was talking to everyone afterwards about how amazing this trip is. I can’t adequately even describe it in words; you really have to be there. I wish I could, but the best I can do is an approximation. My Greek prof. said that one day, “any translation of Thucydides is at best an approximation.” I’m trying to capture the absolute joy of this experience, and I hope I can.
I’d like to wax philosophical for a bit now, if that’s alright. I came to a wonderful realization today. I may have written about it last night, I dunno, but I’ve got to say something about it tonight too. As of late, I’ve become so acutely aware of the poetry of the world. I don’t mean poetry in literature, which is great, but the absolute poetry and epic situations and scenery you find in nature. I’m not describing it very well – it is a very nebulous, fleeting idea that is slipping out of my grasp as I write this. I guess I’m acutely aware of the significance of every single situation, and the absolute gorgeosity of it all. I’m almost hypersensitive to it; everything inspires me these days it seems. well, I don’t want to seem egotistical, so I’m sorry if I do. I’m also not explaining myself very well atm.
Love is everywhere. Beauty is everywhere. If you’re looking for it, you will find it in every corner of this world. Being down here I see it all that much more clearly. Sorry, that disappeared into the recesses of mentis sagacis mei7.
I’ve written so much about abstractions that I’m trying to think of what actually happened today. all I’m thinking about really are the friendships I’ve been making and cementing all the while, and that’s all on my mind. In no particular order – Danielle, Kersten, Kevin, Jason, Justin, Mike Z and T, Tyler (both of them), Claire, and everyone else. I had a really interesting convo tonight with Christian and Zack, and also with Mike T, Kersten, Zack and Kevin. I think Kersten is one of the nicest girls on the trip, and so is Danielle. I dunno, I’m making friends with everyone.
I miss everyone, especially Jenn! It’s our “anniversary” today – well, monthly one – we’ve been going out for almost 3 years! but yeah, I sent her an email today thankfully, but I forgot to say “happy anniversary” – oh well.
much love, I can’t write anymore.
zZzzz…
[signature, followed by: SAT 18 JUN 0.10]
SAT 18 JUN 23.45
a bit bummed. apparently my snoring is keeping most people up, so I tried to go sleep in the room Father D and Lou were in, but they were going to bed right away, so Father Dave had me sleep in another room entirely. I guess it’s for the common good, and it’s not as if I’m being “kicked out,” but at the same time it’s true. oh well – at least it’s not because of me, but my snoring, which is alright, I guess. still sucks.
The moon is almost full and looks like a skull. how I love those moonbeams pouring down upon me. I’m in my own little circle of light and solitude here. it’s quiet and peaceful, with people talking nearby and laughing, and crickets composing a somnolent song in the dead light as they chirp. I have plenty to sing of tonight. it’s midnight now and I’m very, very inspired as usual.
death and rebirth. rising from the smouldering ashes like the glorious phoenix. I feel almost morose. I think a lot of changes are taking place here, in me and in every one of us, hopefully for the better. I bought a cross today, of hematite and all, and I bought a turtle necklace for Jenn. it looks pretty cool. it’s cold out here, and I’ve got goosebumps. laying on cold tile outside and everything.
That was very stream-of-consciousness of moi. so, plenty of interesting things happened today. got up in the morn around 07.45 and made sure I was ready for breakfast at 8. smiles. breakfast was much of the same, eggs and beans and potatoes. I think all I got were beans, since I didn’t like either of the others. Fuck, my sleeping bag is going to feel good after this cold out here. Anyways, much like yesterday, we got to work painting again, and I did much of the same.
I dunno if I mentioned, but yesterday (Fri? yeah) a couple of the local kids came up and talked to us – one named Raúl (~16) and the other Alberto (~18). It was pretty funny because they kept talking a bunch of shit and calling everyone gay. Raúl told Tyler G. too that he could get him a “16-year-old virgin to penetrate,” which was pretty off-the-wall and crazy. We actually told him Andrew was gay, and he freaked out. Andrew played along with it and it was hilarious. I dunno, you had to be there. These guys were kind of shady though – drinking then driving, and Raúl kept hitting on Danielle. however, I think they got theirs for the night when they drove through a dirt wall and busted a tire due to being borrachos (drunk).
We kept painting today as I said, and about 10 or 11, people came selling ice cream and frozen goods, such as popsicles and all. Danielle bought one that tasted like cotton candy, and she gave me the rest. very refreshing in hot weather! Then for some reason we started talking politics, especially abortion and gay issues (marriage, etc.) – it was rather interesting. I tried to defend my pro-choice stance, but I realised that I don’t have much of a strong opinion on the issue – I’m definitely not rabid about it at all. Danielle isn’t either, but she is definitely more opinionated than I am. Jason joined in on the convo, and we had a lively little debate there, we three. It kinda sucked because I felt like I was being attacked a bit, but it was all OK.
I’m getting rather tired, but I must push on!
too tired. getting to sleep. sorry.
[signature, followed by: SUN 19 JUN 01.13]
XI. PARVA SOLITUDO (a little solitude); LABORIS PLUS (more work)
SUN 19 JUN 21.45
solitude. I’m actually in solitude for one of the first times here; it’s nice. Sorry about last night. I got caught up talking to people, which is actually at the real crux of the trip, so scribere8 took a real back burner last night. I realised too that even if I don’t remember and set down everything I did and felt, it’s not as if it didn’t happen. I began to wrestle with the idea that perhaps I was becoming all too punctual in my writing, almost needing to rather than wanting to. I’ve decided it’s a bit of both, which is OK.
That moon still shines down upon me like a grinning skull, and I love it. a cloud in the sky just wafted past it, through the aether it knows so well. We did so much today that I’ve got to set it all down first before I go off into abstraction – or perhaps there will exist a happy medium, I dunno.
I slept in the room by myself, which actually was pretty nice. woke up to big Dave’s calls, and didn’t get out of bed until 09.15 – 1.5hrs from all the other days. It was a really chill day, and we got up and went to breakfast at 09.30. THEY MADE THE BEST BREAKFAST EVER! you guessed it – rice pudding! I thought it was oatmeal, but no – rice pudding with cinnamon in it, actual cinnamon sticks one could chew on! wow – I had two bowls of it it was so good. afterwards, I went, per the usual, to put on sunscreen and freshen up.
Did I mention that lovely Kersten gave me one of the best back, shoulder, and neck massages ever last night? yeah. I know not what I did to warrant such an honour, but she offered and I gladly accepted! I didn’t feel right taking it gratis though, so I offered her a hand massage in return, quid pro quo. wow – I’m actually pretty happy to give her one, so I’m all good when she asks. I’m honoured.
[top of handwritten page 28: οὐρανός, “sky, heaven” and ἄστρα, “stars” (Gk.)]
seriously, I don’t know what it is, but she is one of the sweetest girls I have met here aside from Danielle. She is always so full of joy and light, and always smiling that nitid, brilliant smile. and my God, that backrub was incredible! anyways, I really hope I get to know her better and continue building a friendship.
after breakfast we chilled and then eventually got ready to leave for mass @ noon. will need to get to bed – will write more later.
[signature, followed by: SUN 19 JUN 23.15]
XII. MEDIUM AD OPPIDUM ITER (trip to the middle of town)
SUN 19 JUN 23.25
well, not going to sleep yet. I went up and asked Father D about sleeping quarters, and he said it’d be ok if I just came in later and went to bed quietly. good to know – I thought he’d be all pissed and shit, and perhaps he is a bit enojado with me, but oh well. in any case, I resume my carmen perpetuum9 here.
Mass was insanely cool. loved it. if you haven’t been to a Spanish mass, you’re missing out totally. lots of music and singing, and the place is packed. it’s certainly an experience. moon’s barely visible now behind the clouds. love is omnipotent. todopoderoso. omnipotens10. after mass some of us were staying in town but others (me included) wanted to go back and change and etc. I wore a white polo shirt to mass and wanted to change back to my Los Embajadores ’03 shirt, so I went back.
changed into said shirt and also my cargo shorts, which are pretty nice. put the requisite extra sunscreen on the legs. locked and loaded. we left for the town a bit later. we parked (in Dismas’ van) near the fiesta that was going on oppido in medio (in the middle of town). I walked with Tyler G, Kyle and Dismas, and Kyle was looking for some aviator sunglasses, so we checked out a few stores. we made our way to the pastelería, or bakery, and I got a chocolate chip cookie – with the chips sprinkled on top. interesting. we went to the papelería next door, which is like a stationary and supply store (“paper store”), but they have food as well. I got some “Queso” (cheese) Ruffles and “Manzana Lift,” which is an apple soda (apple SODA!) made by Coke. I got the “golden” flavour, which is the fucking best – it’s like Martinelli’s.
we eventually wended our way over to the fiesta, and after a few our little motley crew went into the salón (room) where there were vendors for food and souvenirs. I decided to buy another bobblehead turtle for Jenn, since the last one I got her (on the trip before) either broke or disappeared. I hope she likes it as well as the turtle necklace I bought her. around 15.00 we met up at the van, but no one else had returned. by 15.30 we’d been verily reunited, and – holy shit, a cricket just fucking landed on this notebook – anyways, we got back to the school in time for dinner at 16.00. FRIED CHICKEN!!! my God I was psyched, even after eating some in town.
got over to the house we eat at around 16.00 and waited for food. I must have drank 6 glasses of various liquid – first Tang, then Tropi-Frut (like Tampico), and good old whole milk – all before dinner. when it came I was still psyched tho – but I offloaded my pasta salad and cucumbers and tomatoes on others and devoured my fried chicken. it was seriously some of the best I’ve ever had – I ate it right down to the bone. unfortunately we only got one piece each. after dinner, I talked to Colleen, who is my small group leader, about our little “spiritual activity” we had to do tonight.
Colleen inspires me too. just a few days ago her uncle died, and she ended up leaving our group right before we went into Mexico (in San Diego), for obvious reasons. we were all bummed that she left, and thought she was gone for the rest of the trip, but it turned out that she was coming back last night! everyone was really psyched and happy she came back, and she seemed to be doing well. I asked her if she was alright, and she said she was doing better. I told her I was glad she was back, and to just surround herself with love and joy, two things in unlimited supply here.
in any case, I have the utmost respect for her, and yes, I’m very glad she came back, since I want to get to know her better. anyways, we got ready to leave after dinner. we were going to Misión Santo Domingo, an 18th-century mission about 30min out of town. we piled into Dismas’ van (11 of us at least) and started off. it was a really bumpy road, at least part of it. I sat next to Mike T and Colleen, and we kept cracking jokes with Zack and everyone else. once we got to the mission, we found that it was closed – yet our host family, who came with us, was able to get them to let us in.
We did our “spiritual activity” in the middle of the walls of the ruins of the once-glorious mission. What we did was line up in two equal lines, and we were going around and praying silently for each person with our arms on one another’s shoulders. however it didn’t work as well as we’d planned, so me and Tyler G. ended up going around praying with one other person in a little triad, which was kinda interesting. When I came to Alli I was a bit weirded out, as I’m sure she was too. she hasn’t even said a word to me on the trip, and we’re basically ignoring each other, which is really hard to do. it’s painful too, because it’s over such fucking retarded shit, but I don’t care anymore. just it eats away in the back of my mind sometimes – why can’t she at least say hi or something? Oh well – fuck it. Mike T said when I talked to him about it, “Dude, you are so much cooler than her, don’t even stress about it…” That pretty much fixed it for me.
My point, though, is that the activity was a success – I felt so peaceful while we did it. I actually stared, well, looked, into Kristin’s eyes the whole time (30sec apiece). She has deep, gorgeous green-blue eyes, and I just about got lost in them. She has a beautiful smile too – it never left her face during that eternal moment.
after the activity we did some music, and then I really had to take a piss, so I found a place and went.
[top of handwritten page 31: ποίησις, “poetry, poetic art” and Μοῦσαι ἄειδον, “the Muses were singing” (Gk.)]
The mission lay in such a beautiful valley between huge, huge mountains, and the full moon came out above us a bit before we left. we eventually left a bit before 8pm, and we had to take a bumpier, more treacherous road to go back. I sat next to Kristin and Andrew (in the middle), and it was a cool, bumpy ride. Kristin was all worried and scared due to the bumps, and I kept telling her it was ok. After we got out of the bumpy area, I put my hand on her shoulder and asked if she was alright and she said yes, which was good.
after we got back, I started writing this, and then people interrupted me – but as I said, this trip is all about people, so it was fine. I really need to get to sleep or Father D is going to kill me! much love. my hand is getting tired too, heh. pZ.
[signature, followed by: MON 20 JUN 00.30]
TUE 21 JUN 23.05
[to the side of this: amor, “love” (Lat.) and ἔρως, “[romantic] love” (Gk.)]
sic fatur lacrimans. Mῆνιν ἄειδε, θεά, Πηλιάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην11… I can’t remember the rest. sitting in a pool of light outside the girls’ room. I didn’t write yesterday, so I’ve got to sort of make up for it tonight. we worked half the day yesterday, but the real highlight was seeing the kids.
around 15.30 we went to see the kids in the campesinos, which are rural work camps, usually in gross disrepair. The two times I went before, though, it was so absolutely fun and such a wonderful experience. this time it was no different – the kids still yelled “CABALLO” (horse) at us all, and “Dáme vuelta” (give me a spin!). The joy on their faces as they saw us and the way they mobbed the vans at their advent was priceless. They are so happy even though they live in such squalid, unfair poverty.
[top of handwritten page 32: χθών καλή, “noble, beautiful earth” (crossed out εὐγενής, “well-born” because the adjective didn’t apply to earth, obviously) (both Gk.)]
XIII. LIBERIS LUDENTES (playing with kids)
The kids are so happy just to have someone to play with; their parents are at work sometimes 06.00-16.00 (a 10hr day) and are absolutely exhausted afterwards. apparently they have to make dinner too (the women) after that 10hrs of hard labour. Hence, they have very difficult lives, but they still find joy and light and love in life – especially reflected in the nitid eyes of their children. I must have given 50 “caballo” rides – piggyback rides, to the non-Espanaphile – as well as a few “vueltas.” Vueltas are when you grab both the kid’s hands and start to spin, and the centrifugal force will make them fly around in the air like on one of those swing rides at country fairs we all love so well. Being me, I tired out somewhat easily, and couldn’t really keep up with all the kids. I gave my share of rides, though, and talked to the kids a bunch too.
We all really had fun on that trip, and then we went back and all. I believe we had fried chicken for dinner (SO GOOD!) – or was – argh, that was the night before. It’s all running together for me. we had quesadillas for dinner last night – I remember since I had ~7 of them! heh – they were so, so fucking good. after we had dinner, we went off to the beach!
The beach – at least the one we went to – is about 20-30mins from here, and it’s really pretty cool. I looked at the sea and the stars, amid the lovely evening air and wind, and smiled and exclaimed, “This is awesome!” We all stood near the breaking waves, and some even had brought suits and ran or jumped in, but I was not one of those crazy few. The sea got the better of me, though, since I was too close to the shore and a wave snuck up and got me wet up to my cargo shorts. Fuck. Oh well – it was OK. The highlight of the night, though, was yet to come.
When we were getting ready to leave, and we got in the vans, Dismas tried to back out and turn around. No dice. seems the wheels were stuck fast in the sand, and worse, the van wasn’t 4WD. A RWD-only van? Ridiculous!
[top of handwritten page 33: θάνατος, “death” (Gk.)]
in any case, we all needed to get out and push our van as well as another one. We all banded together and tried to get the sand out of the wheel wells and such, and managed to clear a nice path for Dismas to try to back up on. While he hit the gas in reverse, we all pushed on the front and it eventually worked! Dismas’ van was free of its sandtrap then, and then the other van remained.
We did much the same for the other van, and got it in no time at all – back on the road then! When we got back we had another surprise – Father Dave wanted to have a bonfire with brush and all, and so we all went out to watch the conflagration. however, the fire didn’t really work since the brush was somewhat wet. The high point was when Dismas found a huge, person-sized ball of tumbleweed and threw it on the pile. With gorgeous intensity it burned, and started spewing flaming fibrous fragments like a fucking volcano! Otherwise the fire was pretty defunct, and we eventually left for other things.
I think I got on the computer and wrote Jenn – she just got her LPN (YAY!) so I was happy for her. something magical happened though too. You know how I said I owed Kersten a hand massage? Well, she came to collect last night, and I was more than happy to do so. She has really small, soft, lovely hands, and it was nice giving her a massage. I guess I’m better at them than I thought, because she just melted while I gave her the massage. She’d been working with cement all day, so her hands were really tired, and it was not unwelcome in the slightest.
We talked and all and had a nice convo while I gave her a massage. She asked about Jenn and such and I told her how we met and all, and she thought it was cute. After I’d given her a real decent hand massage, I asked if she’d like a back massage, which I did gladly as well. I pretty much put her to sleep with that, and she went to bed right afterwards. I didn’t know I was so good at massages – it was so easy too – my hands didn’t hurt at all. anyways, I went to bed around 00.30.
woke up early around 06.30 this morning (Tue morn), and moved my stuff into the main room from my VIP suite, heh. finally got up around 07.45 after getting dressed and brushed my teeth, then headed to breakfast at 8.
eggs w/hotdogs, cut-up tortilla strips, and beans. I went back for more tortillas, and had chocolate milk for a drink. it was a quiet beginning to what would be a huge, long day. got ready for work as usual: gloves (leaky now), sunscreen, work clothes. we needed to finish painting today, and thus we did. we only had the last set of bars, and me, Dismas, Danielle and Dave (all the D’s) finished it up. Justin helped a bit on it too. I put the very finishing touches on it, and then proceeded to take a shower (at least for my hands) in paint thinner. I helped with a couple other things, but then ultimately sat down on a cement block out near where they mixed cement.
Brianne and Justin were there, and I ended up giving her a ~20min back massage. again, I didn’t get tired – I could have gone for 2hrs if I wanted to – and she was eternally grateful for it. after that, we went off to lunch – boiled (?) chicken with rice and beans. interesting. however, after that we were going to go to a food packing plant owned by the father of the host family here. Father Dave was ecstatic about it, and we left around 3pm.
XIV. ITER AD MACHINARUM LOCUM ET ORAS (trip to a place of machines [packing plant] and the beach [literally, shores])
we took our assigned vans (Dizzy Dismas’) and I sat in the back with Colleen and Claire, two lovely women if I do say so myself. we talked and were fairly jovial the entire ride, and then we arrived at the packing plant. we got out and went in, and they were going to give us all a personal tour. It was quite a strange factory, and they had conveyors full of tomatoes and cucumbers going every which way and people checking them. They even had “cryo-storage” – a 37°F room – which felt great! After we’d seen everything, they wanted to take us to the “shade-houses” where they grow the tomatoes and cucumbers. apparently people who work there (in the factory) make ~$1/hr. and work 70-90hrs/week. grossly underpaid – at least at first sight. They get full health benefits, housing, childcare, and a few other amenities for working there – so I decided that while it’s bad – it could be way worse.
next we went to another auxiliary building where they pumped ocean water to be desalinised. en route, I took too big a handful of animal crackers, and I didn’t know if we could eat in there, so I put them in my pocket. When we were standing inside the plant, I randomly turned to Zack and said, “I’ve got animal crackers in my pocket.” He snickered a bit and I smiled. We even got to try drinking some desalinised, purified water – it wasn’t horrible.
after we left I took the crackers out of my pocket and ate them…mmm. lol. god, I’m tired, but I must push on. we finally went where I’d (and everyone else) been waiting to go – the beach – right near the plant. Apparently it was at a hotel right on the ocean, and we pulled our vans up there on the sand. I’d brought swim trunks and a towel, and I changed in the car. set my stuff down and ran into the ocean! The sea was brilliant with sunbeams from the nearly-setting sun (~18.00), and while it was ridiculously cold at first, I soon grew very comfortable.
Me, Jason, Dave and Brianne kept going out further and seeking huge waves. We kept finding bigger and bigger ones, which were great, and some broke over my head actually. However, it was eventually dinnertime, so I came in and wrapped myself in a towel, intending to change later. weird sandwiches for dinner, so I gave mine to Tyler D. Finally decided to try and get my feet clean of sand, and hatched an ingenious plan: Drop my shoes on the sand next to me, wash off and come back, dry my feet and put socks and shoes on. didn’t work.
My shoes and socks got inundated, and I said fuck it. went off to the hotel bathroom to change clothes, and didn’t give a fuck about my shoes and socks. came back changed and ready for our bonfire on the beach. I should have brought my coat though – left it in the van. We had gathered a bunch of junk wood earlier and thrown it into Dismas’ van to use as firewood, and the bonfire promised to be way better than last night’s.
It sure was, too. Better, that is. It burned like a piece of hell, a parcel of infernal land underneath our rapidly chilling bodies, warming us all up. We started toasting marshmallows over it and then making smores even. I had about two smores, and others had way more, like Mike T. We all huddled around the fire and relaxed, enjoying each other’s company, and soon it was time for us to do our spiritual activity for the night.
Claire’s group was doing it, and she wanted us to do a “guided meditation” kind of thing. This involved her asking us to close our eyes (good, since I was facing smoke) and concentrating silently. She told us to think of all the gifts we’ve been given by God and etc., and how we can best use them, and many other things. I was so moved by the whole thing that I went up to her afterwards and said “That was awesome, Claire” and patted her shoulder, and she thanked me and gave me a sweet hug.
After that, we started to sing a couple songs, and then a couple more and we left. talked to Kyle a lot on the way back – he seems like a bright, sharp kid, and he’s nice. when we got back we just chilled, not much happened – I basically started writing. I’m so fucking tired I can’t think of anything else besides –
aestuans interius ira vehementi
burning inside with violent anger
(Carmina Burana)
goodnight.
[signature, followed by: MON 22 JUN 02.18]
XV. DIES FESTUS; CONVIVIUM; LEVIS SOMNUS (festive day; feast; light sleep)
Wed 22 JUN 23.30
wow, it’s been a long day. very eventful. I wish I’d worn sunscreen. as you all know full well, I didn’t sleep until ~02.30, and woke up at 06.30. tried to sleep another hour and a half until almost 8, and then got up and went to breakfast. these days have been so packed that it’s hard to remember everything, but I’m trying. today was especially fun, but poignantly sad too, since we’re leaving tomorrow. I’m sad but ready to go home at the same time. it’s a weird feeling – I’ve just spent 9 days with some of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. there are definitely some ἄγγελοι φαίδιμαι12 in this group – but I’ll address that later. plenty of ideas and inspiration tonight. it’s brownish and cloudy though, just like San Diego before we left. still lovely even without a sea of stars.
in any case, we had cereal and toast for breakfast. just plain old Cheerios and toast. i felt this was definitely a liminal moment. liminal in the sense that we made the first step towards leaving Mexico, at least in spirit, by transitioning to American (or more American) food. I guess it really hit me then that we are leaving, that this incredible state of grace really is ending so very soon after it just began to warmly glow. I helped wash dishes with Kevin, which was actually quite fulfilling.
Now as we washed dishes, a certain song came on the radio or CD – “Dáme más gasolína” (Give me more gasoline!) – which is really a local favourite. I have almost no idea what the lyrics are, but the song has one of the illest beats I’ve ever heard. I’m definitely going to have to download it when I get back – but I hear that our host family is making us a copy of the CD it’s off of, which will be nice. but yeah, the song, although pop (*gasp*), has really grown on me and the others. more later.
went back to the school with hopes of sleeping in some more, but I’m pretty sure I got distracted. I may have slept for a little bit, but otherwise I think I went outside and chilled. Oh yeah, I remember now – I went to go play basketball with Danielle, Zack and Christo – I think those [three].
[top of handwritten page 38: Πῦρ Φοιβοῖο, “the fire of Phoibos” (aka the Sun) (Gk.) (all capitalised in the text)]
I’m not all that good at basketball, so I stopped after a bit, but a little of it was fun. Zack broke Christo’s glasses on accident a few minutes later, and he apologised profusely. The glasses they super-glued later; apparently the lenses fell out and/or broke. We gave Zack a bunch of shit about it, but we were just kidding. He really is a good guy – we just like to fuck with his head a lot. Fortunately, he takes it pretty well.
We chilled in the room and bullshit for awhile until it was almost noon – “la convivia” (or “the gathering”) started at noon – and then went out to the party a bit early. I went and sat down with Danielle, Raúl and Alberto (the latter two students), and we just kicked it for a few. I was talking to them in Spanish, and one asked me what type of music I listened to. Anyone who knows me knows I love hiphop, so of course I told him so. We talked about a few other things, but MANZANA LIFT lured me for a glass. Manzana Lift, for the uninitiated, is one of the best sodas ever. It tastes like Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider, and it is so fucking good.
Hence I justifiably ditched them, and then went to talk to some other people. The festivities started right around noon, and it was a very multifaceted program. First off, the “Newmanators” (our guys) played basketball against the best students at the school. It was actually quite interesting and moved really quickly – but I won’t recap it because it wasn’t that interesting to me. We lost narrowly to them – surprisingly, since we thought we would totally destroy them.
god I’m tired again. it’s about 00.25 and I’m exhausted. I’ll try to go on though, because I have much more to write tomorrow (you’ll see) and such. after the basketball game, they had Olly play a couple songs on the guitar and also Lou on the accordion. That was pretty fun, for sure. if I can remember correctly too, then the school choir sang a cool song in Spanish.
THU 23 JUN (early AM) [entry continued, but it was past midnight now]
one thing, or rather, person, which I remember clearly is the girl who introduced herself at the start of the convivia and spoke in near-perfect English. She had this exceptionally clear, bright voice, and she shone like the sun in beauty. I almost couldn’t take my eyes off of her, she was so beautiful. I dunno, perhaps I’m crazy, but I thought she was gorgeous.
One major highlight was the “machete dance.” Two students came out and the boy held two sharp machetes; the girl was in a colourful orange dress. The music started and he started swinging at her head almost, then hitting the machetes together over and around each leg and behind him too. I kept thinking he was going to take this girl’s head off as I watched him repeat the motions, but no – he was a pro.
After the machete dance, the school cheerleaders danced to “Dáme más gasolína,” and it was pretty impressive. The best part, however, is when we got our gifts and then what lay afterwards. The school and students (?) had made Franciscan crosses (taus, τ) out of wood for everyone, and they also had plaques for Father D, Brother Dismas and our host family. We all stood in a line facing the line of cross-bearing (no pun intended) students, and then met in the middle. One of the girls put the cross around my neck (3 now!), but it got stuck on my big ears for a sec – I was slightly embarrassed.
However, right after the crosses were given out, we all had a dance party right there with the whole school!!! We all got down to “Gasolína” and other songs, and I started busting out my white boy dance moves. probably laughable, but hey, I and all the rest of us had a hell of a lot of fun. After a few songs, we all said adiós to our new friends at the school – I to Raúl and un otro chico – and then bailed over to the house for some of the best food ever – FISH TACOS! now all of you know that I am no friend to seafood, at least at home in Eug. But in Mexico, it’s different; it was all we had to eat really, but more importantly, it tastes like fucking chicken! I ended up having 4 in toto, even the first two, which were almost soggy with mayo (bleh!!!).
after all that, we went back to the school to chill. we were going to go to Rosario, a mission about an hour and a half away, but Father D was tired and needed rest to drive the vans tomorrow. so, we didn’t go, which wasn’t horrible to me, since I wanted to stay too. As I lay out in the sun, I immediately began to regret not wearing sunscreen – my arms and face got fairly burnt, and my arms are still warm after being partially melted by solar fire. oh well. I just lay back and kinda soaked everything in, from those playing Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah” to “Hotel California” on guitars. Mass was at 18.00, and everyone was going, so I went – Brianne also got me to go. It was just like mass on Sunday – cool, but only semi-intelligible. went back and we got ready to do our nightly “spiritual activity” – which promised to be awesome.
The “icebreaker” proposed by Melissa’s group was to play hide and go seek. Me and Kevin ran upstairs and into an empty classroom; he went in thru the window and then unlocked it for me. I dove in the door just as they finished counting, and ducked under the teacher’s desk. waited there with Kev behind me hiding, and eventually big Dave came and found us, and the game ended. Now for the activity, Melissa wanted us to initially sum up the person to our right in one word. I was next to Father D, so I said “holy.” However, the deal was to write a note for every single person – exactly what I was going to do in here! I actually decided I’ll do it both places – first in here, then I’ll copy it to little pieces of paper. I’ve got to preserve this all for posterity, no?
after that, we went and had tostadas. I pulled all the lettuce and sour cream off of mine (bleh!) and put it on my plate. surprisingly, they ran out of lettuce, and Kersten asked me if she could have mine, and I said sure, since I didn’t want to waste it.
after dinner we had a ~3hr dance party, much of which was to “Gasolína.” I kept busting out my crazy dance moves, and it was a lot of fun. I even tried to salsa dance with Kersten a bit – she tried to teach me, but I’m not that good – and that was fun. I seriously have nothing bad at all to say about that girl; she is like a gorgeous, angelic Muse! lol – she just walked by as I wrote that. what a lovely girl. anyways, we got done at around 23.00 and thanked the host family, and then left.
They had a strobe light at the house too, which really helped and made it fun. Zack started dancing and then twisted up his shirt like he was gay, and we all laughed at that pretty hard. in any case, most people are going to sleep, and I’m so motherfucking tired I can’t even think. much love – the catalogue of praise will come mañana and Friday. pZ.
[signature, followed by: THU 23 JUN 01.18]
XVI. EXIMUS ET AD DOMUM VERSIMUS (we went away, and turned towards home); LITTERAE AD UTROSQUE (letters to each person); FINIS (end)
Thu 23 JUN 07.15
Ed’s note: I’m writing this in the van so it may be a bit unreadable. πᾶσιν δόν κῦδος13! (I think?) out of necessity, but also of my own volition, I’ll start my catalogue of notes with Colleen, since she is leaving us in San Diego about 3hrs from now.
Colleen, I am so glad I was able to get to know you better on this trip – actually, to know you in general, since we hadn’t really talked before our Mexico meetings, and now of course this trip. I, like everyone else, was very bummed when you ended up having to leave, since I worried I’d not get a chance to know you – but you came back and I’m really happy you did. You’re an awesome, sweet, wonderful person and I’m really happy for the times and memories we can now share. Thank you for your friendship, and I hope we get to chill perhaps back in Eugene sometime. much love.
[on the actual note I put my name after this]
and now for Lou, our unofficial doctor on the trip:
I’m glad you were able to come and enjoy the wonderful experience we all had here, and I hope you go again. I didn’t really get a chance to talk to you all that much, but it seems you have a heart of gold, and you were fun to work with too. Again, thank you, and I’m sure I’ll see you around mass!
[put my name after this one too on the actual note]
note: later on. it’s now ~14.28 or so, and well, I must – or feel compelled within myself – to finish (or continue at least) my notes to everyone. I think the next one will have to be to one of my favourite people on the trip.
Dearest Kersten –
I want to thank you for being such an angel and opening your heart to me and everyone else on this trip. You are such a sweetheart, and always made me smile with your own brilliantly shining smile. I really enjoyed getting to know you from even the very beginning, when you told me and Danielle to talk a little quieter the first day. Cracks me up when I think of that. I don’t want to get all mushy and all, heh, so I’ll keep it short and sweet – you are simply incredible. I’m very glad I met you, and I hope we will continue to be friends even though we’ll be far away – we need to trade contact info for sure – but yeah, again, thank you for being the wonderful person you are.
πολλῇ φιλίᾳ τε καί εἰρήνῃ
(with much love and peace – Greek)
David
wow, this is going to be more work than I thought. oh well – I will push on. yay for moi.
Dear Kristin –
I’m happy that I got to come on the trip with you for sure. Even though you’re a peer minister and all, I didn’t feel like I knew you that well until the camping trip, and the Mexico trip has definitely helped me get to know you a little better. You’re sweet (in a Napoleon sort of way, as well as sweet like nice), and funny, and you always have a smile on your face.
I didn’t tell you when we talked about our little staredown during prayer at the 2nd mission (Santo Domingo), but I thought I should here because it’s fairly relevant. You really have deep, beautiful blue-green eyes, and I guess the whole experience tripped me out.
in any case, I had a lot of fun getting to know you better and hanging out in good old México! Thank you for making this an awesome year as peer minister too – I’m sure the next will be just as good! Keep in touch!!
much love,
David
I’m writing like half a page per person – I hope I have enough paper to finish. más, or MAGIS, or πολύ14!
Dear Tyler G. –
As you’d probably say, YOU ROCK!!! It’s been awesome with you and Kristin as peer ministers this year, and you’ve always been welcoming and friendly to me. Thank you for being so friendly, and for just being cool and easygoing in general. You’re a really good guy, and I’m glad we got to chill (and work, of course) in Mexico, and especially got to know each other a bit better in the process. Thanks, man. Best of luck in Texas, and also with life in general – and stay in touch! peace be with you (PAX TECUM).
David
[top of handwritten page 44: Thu 23 JUN 15.54]
Dear Bob –
I didn’t really get to talk to you that much, but from what I saw of you, you seem to be a good person and pretty nice. I’m sorry I didn’t get to know you really, but you know how it is. I hope you had fun on the trip, and that you go again if possible.
peace be with you
David
Dear Joy,
I’m glad you went on the trip. You were very warm and friendly to me and everyone, and your demeanor befits your name for sure! I apologise that I didn’t get to talk to you that much, and I wish I had. I hope that you had fun on the trip, and that you got something out of it – I’m sure you did though – we all did. in any case, peace be with you, and I’ll see you at church!
David
Dear Father Dave,
It has been an awesome 4 years getting to know you at Newman, and we already went once before to Mexico. I’m glad I got to go with you again before I leave for school in San Francisco, since it was a very fun experience. You’re fun, very wise, silly, solemn, caring, respectful, and most of all (as I said the last night in Mexico), holy. Thank you for being a guide to me through my years at UO, and I’m really going to miss you when I go in August.
Te conservet Deus tecumque adsit pax.
(May God preserve you and peace be with you)
David
[top of handwritten page 45: Thu 23 JUN 18.36]
more letters/notes.
Dear Dorothy,
I’m glad you came on the trip. It was interesting talking to you when we did, and you had some good insights on travel in Italy, which I hope I get to do soon. I hope you got as much out of it as I did, and I hope you’re able to go again if you want to! Again it was great and I’m glad you came. By the way, since we were talking about the Greek origin of your name, I thought I’d write out what it (should?) look like in Greek: Δωροθέα (Dorothea), which of course means “gift of God” (δῶρον, gift + θεός, god). Peace be with you!
David
Dear Melissa A.,
First of all, I’d like to congratulate you on using my idea for this activity – I’m kidding. I honestly did think about and was planning on writing something about everyone – and now we’ll all get to share in that now. I didn’t know you too well before, even though we both go to Wed night mass all the time and Sun night too – but now I think I know you a little better, which is good. You’re pretty funny, silly, and have been very nice to me when we’ve talked, and well, it’s good that we got to go on the trip together. Thank you for being so friendly and open minded.
Peace be with you
David
now 21.30.
Dear Cindy,
I think you’re pretty nice and very outgoing. I regret that I didn’t get a chance to talk to you more, however, as I do many on the trip. You seem like you have a really good heart, though, and you’re full of life and love. I’m really glad you came – I hope all your studies go well, at least any further studies, and that I see you more often (perhaps?) before I leave in Aug for grad school.
Peace and love be with you
David
I was a bit pissed earlier about some shit, but it’s actually pretty inconsequential in the scheme of things, but perhaps I’ll write a bit on it later after I finish these notes. más!
Dear Kyle,
You’re awesome, man. You crack me up and always have something funny to say! I think you’re really going to go places (in life) with your bio degree, so stay focused and keep at it for sure. It was awesome chillin with you in Mexico and during the whole trip, and I’m glad we were in the same van and group too. I hope you continue to go on the trips all four years if possible – you know how life-changing they can be now, so by all means, go. Anyways, I’ll see you around church and all up until early Aug, so perhaps we’ll kick it sometime.
peace, man.
David
Dear Christo,
I never really talked to you before – actually, I had no idea really who you were before I started talking to you on this trip. From the times we talked, I can tell that you are very devout and holy, but at the same time really funny. You seem very insightful and introspective too, and exude a lot of wisdom. I’m really glad I got to know you and talked with you on this trip, and hopefully we’ll continue to be friends when we get back.
¡Paz de Cristo!
(Peace be with you15)
David
[top of handwritten page 47: Thu 23 JUN 22.30]
Dear Brianne,
wow. You are lovely for sure – It’s been awesome chillin with you here. I hadn’t really seen you for awhile (since working w/Matt), and I didn’t even know you went to Newman until you came to the Mexico meetings. Anyways, enough with the fluff. Your acerbic, keen wit hasn’t failed to crack me up yet, and I share your healthy cynicism much of the time. You really keep it real and haven’t sugarcoated things, which is really cool, and you’re – simply put – fun as hell to be around. You’re really, really chill and easy to talk to, and hey, you’re a good test subject for massages too, muhahahaha. anyways, keep in touch – you said you’d hook up your Myspace, so I don’t wanna lose touch.
amor tecum adsit paxque
(may peace and love be with you)
David
[here I wrote 23.15 surrounded by a box, then plus litterarum (“more [of] letters”, Lat.)]
Dear Nancy,
I’m glad you were able to come on the trip. It was good to be in a small group with you, and I enjoyed talking with you when we did. You’re really nice and fun, and thank you for coming on the trip! Hope to see you around church.
peace!
David
Dear Tyler D.,
Dude – you are hysterical. however, you’ve been in the can most of the trip – so I dunno if I know you as well as I should! in any case, you’re awesome and fun to kick it with, and it’s unfortunate you’re going off to OSU and all – forsaking the Ducks! oh well. Anyways, we should chill if you’ll be here this summer, man.
PAX!
David
[top of handwritten page 48: scribendi dies, “day of writing” (Lat.), followed by: FRI 24 JUN ~09.55]
Dear Brooke,
I really am glad you came on this trip. It’s funny, since I think I’ve seen you at Newman all four years I’ve been here, and been too shy to talk to you. I guess you’ve just been getting into more events at Newman this year though, which is cool. You seem like a really sweet girl, and I regret that I didn’t get to talk to you more. I’ll be around until August, so perhaps I’ll see you at church and maybe get to know you better! Thank you for coming!
pax adsit tecum amor
(may love and peace be with you)
David
god, this is such an ill activity to do. very glad I’m doing it, even if I am writing everything twice.
Dear Betty,
I didn’t know you at all before I went – the only common thing we had was that Jenn knows you and all – so I enjoyed getting to know you. You are really nice and caring, and have served as sort of the matronly figure on this trip, and I’m glad for that. I didn’t get to talk to you all that much, but when I did I enjoyed it. Thank you for coming and being so awesome!
semper pax et amor tecum adsit
(may peace and love always be with you)
David
Dear Marcia,
I’m glad you got a chance to come. I didn’t get much time to talk to you, but when I did you seemed very kind and wise and caring. This was a wonderful experience and it’s good you got to share in it.
peace
David
[top of handwritten page 49: plus litterarum, “more [of] letters” (Lat.)]
Dear Anne-Marie,
I wish I’d gotten to know you more on the trip. You seem cool and nice, and your “poop stories” cracked me up. I hope you had as much fun on the trip as I did, and that you’ll go back again if you can. It was nice to meet you and perhaps I’ll see you at church.
peace
David
Dear Justin,
man, you are hysterically funny. I can’t believe you’re so shy – but I guess it’s kinda good, because the people who take the time to get to know you even though you’re shy realise how cool you really are. We had a lot of good conversations and experiences, and I’m really glad I met you. Keep up all the work on school and get that Psych degree, but most of all, stay yourself, for that’s your greatest asset. I’m sure I’ll see you around church, but if I don’t, you know how to reach me (yellow sheet) – STAY IN TOUCH!
peace man!
David
Dear Melissa I.,
I really regret not getting a chance to talk to you more. You seem really nice, and also to have a very good knowledge of Spanish, which is always good. I hope you had a lot of fun down there, and that you’ll go again if possible. Perhaps I will get to know you better at church? I’ll definitely see you there.
peace,
David
Dear Amy,
I’m glad you came on the trip! It was interesting to see your face here, since I remember we basically went from elem. to high school together, and I never really knew you that well. It was cool to be in your van though – that helped us get to know each other a bit better, especially the BIMBO toast and the communion wafers! anyways, it was awesome you came and I hope you had fun! You’re really cool.
[I didn’t put my name on the paper, but I put it on the note.]
[top of handwritten page 50: FRI 24 JUN 12.06]
Dear Danielle,
I don’t know where to begin. We are dissonant yet harmonious at the same time, as you always talk about, and I’ve felt very close to you this entire trip. I guess we all chilled together a bunch, and I was really happy I got to know you better. Mexico was absolutely awesome, and I’m really glad I got to go with you! I am really going to miss you when I go to California – but we will keep in touch for sure. I love you to death, Daniela – definitely going to miss you.
lux aeterna adsit nitens amor tecum.
(may eternal light and shining love be with you)
David
Dear Kevin,
I never really talked to you before the first day on the bus, and then we were talking about Dune and all, and then we got to sit next to each other for a bit too. You’re an awesome guy, and an awesome friend, and I really enjoyed getting to know you during the trip. We should chill sometime before Aug, man – I’ll definitely see you at church. Thanks for being so cool and fun to hang out and work with!
peace be with you
David
Dear Claire,
You’re awesome! It was really cool being in the same van as you, and especially getting to know you. You have a really good heart, and are a very sweet and fun girl. I didn’t get to talk to you as much as I would have liked to, but we had fun when we did hang out. I’m really glad you came on the trip, because it definitely wouldn’t have been the same without you! I hope I see you at church before I go, and perhaps get to know you a bit better. it was awesome! Thank you for being so friendly and cool!
multus amor multaque lux adsit tecum!
(much love and light be with you!)
([light], just like clarus, “bright,” from which your name comes)
David
Dear Alli,
I know things haven’t exactly been the best between us in the past, obviously, but they’re fairly OK right now, and I’m glad that we talked awhile ago and kinda ironed some things out. in any case, I’ve just tried to stay out of your way and give you space on this trip, which is what I think you wanted, so I hope that’s chill.
anyways, I’m glad you got to go and see how awesome Mexico is, and I hope you had fun.
peace and love be with you always
David
now 14.08. Still at it. full of love and light for all, and hey, doesn’t hurt to get a Charlie’s Angels-esque photo with two gorgeous girls (Kersten and Claire!) – I can’t wait to get the pic!
Dear Keely,
I really enjoyed getting to know you on this trip. I thought it was especially cool that you’re from Port Angeles, and I remember we had a nice convo about all that one night. I’m sorry I didn’t get to talk to you more down in Mexico – I would have liked to, because you seem really cool and fun. I hope you had a blast down in Mexico and you go back if you can – you saw how wonderful it is there. Thank you for being so friendly and open, and I’m glad I met you! Perhaps we can get to know each other better in Eugene!
peace and love,
David
ANDREW BRAWL! What’s up man!!! Dude, it was so ill on this trip, chillin with you every day! I’m happy I got to know you better, and I definitely consider you a close friend. You’re hysterically funny, man – I don’t think there’s been a moment you haven’t cracked me up. I hope we can chill a bit during the summer now before we both leave – we’ll definitely have some fun times. I’m gonna miss you, man, when I leave, but also even when we get back to Eugene tonight. I hope you had a really great time on the trip, and you better go every year if you can. I’ll catch you later, man.
peace and love be with you always
David
OLLY BRAWL!!
Dude, it’s been awesome getting to know you better on this trip and all. I’ve known you for awhile, but it was great to chill with you and see how you go about life day-to-day. You’re funny as hell and a really good friend, and I can’t tell you how fun it’s been chilling with you, man. Most of the time you’re hilarious, but you have a serious side to you too, a wise, holy side, and I think they are equally important. What am I saying? You are a profoundly deep person with countless sides to you. You’re just awesome, man, and I’m glad to have been lucky enough to meet you.
love and peace,
David
TARASCIO! Dude, you’re awesome, seriously. I’ve known you pretty much all four years, and you’ve always been cool to me and a good friend. We went to Mexico 2 years ago and all, but I feel like I knew you a lot better going on this trip than I did then. You’re insanely gifted at Italian, and I hope you have a blast in Italy. You’re very inspirational in your faith too – you know a lot more than I do about Catholicism. I’m glad you’re my friend, and I hope we can chill in the summer before I go to SF and you to Italy.
much love and peace be with you,
David
Dear Christian,
You’re pretty bloody awesome, man. I had no idea who you were at first, but hey, getting to know people is the name of the game here! You’re a really good guy, and I’ve enjoyed the conversations we had. You also always greeted me warmly with a smile and a handshake, and were interested in how I was and very friendly all the time.
[top of handwritten page 53: FRI 24 JUN 17.30; then letter continues]
I’m glad I met you, man, and I hope we’ll continue to be friends after this trip’s over, since I’d like to get to know you better. Mexico was incredible, and I hope you had as much fun as I did there. Anyways, thanks for being so cool and I hope to see you soon.
peace be with you always,
David
only a few more left. keep your animus strong, David.
JASON! You’re the man! I loved chillin with you and bullshitting and trading “your mom” jokes (although we have Colleen to thank for most of that). Even though we don’t always agree on politics and other issues, I’m glad we can still be chill and friends. You were always there with a smile and a smart-ass remark, and cracked me up many a time. It was awesome how fast we got comfortable around each other and bonded – well, it was that way with nearly everyone, which is one of the reasons this trip is so awesome. I’m glad you came, and I hope you go again – it is so important to have experiences such as this. It sucks we won’t be able to chill – but I guess c’est la vie, as they say. you’re a good guy and I’m gonna miss you.
peace be with you always
David
Dear Dave,
You crack me up, man! I didn’t get to talk to you that much, but your presence was definitely felt. You were always smiling and laughing that jolly laugh of yours, and always brightened the moods of everyone. You reminded me of Ken Kesey or one of his Merry Pranksters, actually – or at least from what I’ve heard of him. Anyways, thank you for making this a really fun trip and God bless you. I’m sure I’ll see you at church!
peace and love be with you always
David
[top of handwritten page 54: FRI 24 JUN 18.50]
ZACK ZUIKER ZONE!!
Hey man! You know, aside from being a constant source of hilarity, you’re also a good friend. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you better, man, and I’ll miss you when I go to SF and all. You’re a really awesome guy, and I think some people don’t give you a chance, but when I got to know you, I realised you’re pretty cool. Mexico was incredible, and I hope you end up going next year, even though I unfortunately won’t grace the trip with my presence (kidding about the “gracing” part). Anyways, you’re a good guy – I hope we can chill before we both leave ~ Aug. See you soon, man.
PAX TECUM
David
2 more. 19.40. still running. sleepy. yet full of energy.
Dear Mike Z.,
I enjoyed getting to know you on this trip. I really didn’t know you until just recently at Newman – actually, the first time I started getting to know you was at your bday, and then the camping trip too. You’re a really cool and fun person, and I’m glad we got to chill on this trip for sure. I didn’t get to talk to you enough, and I regret that, but I’m sure we’ll hang out in Eugene this summer with all the guys at the Higgerty. I’ll catch you later, man. Stay cool.
peace be with you!
David
one more!
Dismas –
When I first saw you at Newman, you were immediately welcoming and friendly, and I tried to talk to you more and more. I’m glad I did, because you’re one of the coolest guys ever. I love your sense of humour and talking with you about whatever random thing is on either of our minds. It’ll be awesome to chill with you in Oakland when I get there! Anyways, I’ll definitely see you around church!
pax tecum aeterna (may eternal peace be with you)
David
DONE!
I will write about the last few days soon, but not now. exhausted. it’s now around 05.35 and I need to sleep soon. much love and pZ. crashing now….
Endnotes:
1 Roughly translated from the Greek, “For marriage is a votive evil for men”
2 “descent, marching downwards.” (Gk.)
3 “poetry, poetic art” (Gk.)
4 “fear of three-and-ten,” i.e. “fear of thirteen” (Gk.)
5 “up…down” (Gk.)
6 “full of love” (Lat.)
7 “of my wise/sagely mind” (Lat.)
8 “writing,” literally “to write” (Lat.)
9 “perpetual song,” from the start of Ovid’s Metamorphoses 1.4 (ad mea perpetuum deducite tempora carmen, “lead my perpetual song down [from the first origin of the world] to my own times”)
10 Both of the previous words mean “all-powerful,” in Spanish and Latin, respectively.
11 “Sing, Muse [“Goddess”], of the baneful wrath of Peleides Achilles” (from Hom. Il. 1.1f.)
12 “shining/brilliant angels” (Gk.)
13 “Glory having been given to all!” (Gk.) – my own creation, surprisingly.
14 All three words mean “more” (in Spanish, Latin, and Greek, respectively)
15 Literally, “Peace of Christ [be with you]” (Sp.)
2 Comments
the volume you wrote astounds me. you’re like a machine dude, just hand you a pen or a keyboard and everything writes itself out. never stop.
Posted 6/30/2005 at 1:52 AM by roughdraft1
Dude i really like your layout, can u give me some sites or something, to make mine look better, is kinda looks bright to me, so if you wouldn’t mind….
And by the way my name is Jess
Posted 7/7/2005 at 9:07 AM by ryanismybaby101
and don’t worry, I’ll have plenty to write for you all soon. just a bit burnt out atm. wRk in about 2hrs. pZ.
