i’m rather inspired today. got a lot to write about, plenty has happened in the last couple days, including putting some old ghosts to rest. although restless ghosts are good, these weren’t, and i’m glad it was all resolved. i’ll write about it all later. and i also planned on writing a eulogy for the shades yesterday, which i told a lot of you about, which will probably be tonight’s topic of conversation. peace for now.
i’m up late on a worknight, yes. it was an interesting day today, for sure. seems like there’s never a dull moment here, honestly. it rained for the first time in awhile here, and that is always a good sign; the chthonic gods must be happy! 
i probably said before — i didn’t wake up until almost 16.30, and then just did nothing for a couple hours. ahh yes, i remember now, i loaded about 7 albums onto the iPod, and also backed them up to DVD+R. i got some good shit lately, and i’ll tell a bit about that later. anyways, i synched up my iPod (6720 songs now, jesus), yay! my sis wanted to go get some food, and i kept her waiting for awhile, not wholly intentionally… got in the shower, which is always good, and then i got dressed and ready to go. Christine called me around 17.30 or so and asked me when I was coming over, since we were planning on going out tonight, and I told her 18.00 or 18.30. bad idea. I didn’t even get out the door until 18.30, and me and Anna went to Carl’s Jr. to get some dinner. Jenn called me at almost 19.00 and she said “you’re late!” and was kinda pissed, and well, I’ve done this a lot before, so it serves me right. For some reason, I have a problem getting places on time for her, and it’s not a good thing for me to do… demonstrates a fundamental lack of respect which I must amend. in any case, I told her I’d be right there, by 19.30, and we finished our food and I drove Anna home, then left again for Jenn’s. it was thundering before i left to get food, and I think it kept on thundering later on too.
as i drove through that glorious rain towards Jenn’s under a cloudy, foggy grey sky, i smiled as i listened to some chill music. I was listening to Air’s greatest hits, which I’d just loaded on my iPod, and it is some fucking brilliant shit. I’d never heard them before, and now I think I’d definitely check out their catalogue. Air create some epic electronic soundscapes, and many of their songs sound like they would not be out of place in a movie, and at the same time they are very relaxing and chill. I’d especially recommend the bombastic, epic, classic space feel of “Kelly, Watch The Stars,” and also “La Femme d’Argent” (The Silver Lady?). The whole disc is fucking insanely cool though; also, I don’t know if it actually exists or is just a bootleg — the NFO for it says the guy found it in a store, so it may be real and may not be. Either way, I’m definitely going to check out the rest of their catalogue. This is a perfect case of MP3s stimulating the purchase of music. now if I only had some $$ at the moment… heh. anyways, i listened to that music as I drove along, and my head filled with ideas as I looked out over the landscape near Jenn’s. there are a bunch of trees and grassland right near her house, fields of trees and grass, shining against the backdrop of the foggy hills and mountains in the distance. cloud-capped hills and mountains always impress me and make me smile, they really do.
well, i got to Jenn’s, and then we chilled for a bit while Christine called Jerick and invited him to go bowling with us. We planned on meeting up with him fairly soon after that, and so we drove in Christine’s car over to the bowling alley. we met up with Jerick outside there, and he seemed like a cool enough guy at first sight. went inside, got shoes and a lane ($15 for 2 games for me and Jenn, including shoe rental… kinda expensive). I set up the computer, and hence bowled first. now I couldn’t mention “dog balls” at all that night… Christine woulda killed me. I didn’t though, I kept my tongue in check for the most part, and so it was alright. I actually did pretty well on bowling — I think I got over 100 on the first game, and 142 on the 2nd one. I beat everyone both times at least; I think Christine and Jenn were trying for the lowest scores, and Jerick was actually trying but I still beat him. I must say, too, they have some pretty fucking good nachos there, even if it is processed cheese sauce! So after we bowled, we decided what to do, and it seemed easiest to go back to Jenn and Christine’s place. I told Jerick how to get there, and so we got in the car and left.
when we got back, I guess we got there a bit after Jerick, and Christine saw his car and Jenn said “follow him, he’s lost!” thus we followed him, and she flashed her lights at him, he flashed back, and he followed us to their house. when we got there, we showed him around the house for a sec, and then we decided to watch a movie. This was partly a diversionary tactic to give Christine some privacy, because some weird shit had gone down in the car beforehand. Dan had called her (who she had just broken up with on amicable terms), and he left her a msg that sounded like he was dying or something, so Jenn called him back (cos Christine was driving) and asked him if he was ok. He said yes, and so she said Christine would call him back later. “Later” was while me and Jerick were gone. More on that in a few. So me and Jerick drove over to Hollywood to go rent a flick, and I talked movies with him on the way. He seems to have similar movie taste to me, which is a good sign, so he’s a cool guy in my book if Christine wants to date him… lol… anyways, so we went in and looked for movies in the new releases, and couldn’t really find anything. I looked though and saw Finding Neverland, and I’d wanted to see that for awhile, so I called Jenn and asked if that’d be cool with her and Christine. Jerick wanted to see it too, so we eventually decided upon that, and rented it. Drove back and I got the DVD player all ready to play the movie.
Me and Jerick talked movies for a few while the girls were chatting, and then we finally turned on the movie. I talked to Christine though beforehand, and she was all teary-eyed, seemed really sad. Turns out Dan proposed to her over the phone, said he needed her, and so in a last-ditch effort to get her back, he fucking proposed to her. She doesn’t need that shit in the slightest, seriously — she’s already been through enough after breaking up with him. It was one of the hardest things I think she’s been through lately; she really doesn’t need any more shit like that. I laughed though at the ridiculousness of his proposal (pun), because it seemed so fucking ludicrous, and I guess she was able to laugh too at it. Anyways, we finally sat down and watched the movie, but not before Jenn had used some of my strawberry vodka with orange juice to make some drinks for them (I had Dr. Pepper). I said “fuck, don’t use all my vodka!” but they didn’t, so it was alright.
The movie was fucking awesome, seriously… a real tear-jerker near the end too. I actually had to keep from crying at it (yes, painful to admit), because it was a very poignant film. See it if you haven’t yet, because it was really well-done and a very engaging, wonderful story of how Peter Pan came about and the pain and triumph J.M. Barrie forged it from. anyways, after we watched the movie, Jerick had to go, and so then me, Jenn and Christine talked for a bit. After we’d talked for a bit, I went and snuggled with Jenn and spent some time alone with her, which is always nice. I had to go eventually though, because I’ve got work in the morning (which I should be sleeping for, really, but oh well), and so I headed out soon afterwards. Threw on some more Air while I drove home, and looked out upon a dark, gorgeous night as I drove through it.
when I got home I sat on here for a sec downloading a couple Firefox extensions (haven’t kept up on them, really), and then me and Anna watched some Bundy (Married with Children for the layperson), and now here I am typing away when I should be sleeping. I’m sure I’ll crawl into bed in a few and try to find that terrifying limbo between sleep and waking, and by a tenuous thread I’ll hold onto waking so I can get up in a little less than 3hrs. it’s always unnerving when I have to wake up but will not get enough sleep really to wake up at that time, so I try to compensate by half-sleeping. I guess you could call it half-sleeping, I dunno. Either way, it’s off to demi-Hypnos I go. much love all, and thank you for continuing to read, especially our winner today, Sara, who so thoughtfully commented on my ‘dead people’ entry 
peace.
went to bed at almost 05.30, and when i looked out the window there was a blue glow on the horizon. it was that crepuscular time between night and dawn, which I love… I should have stayed awake for the sunrise… oh well. i ended up sleeping until just about now though, well, around 4pm at least. always fun to sleep in… i woke up at 12.15 when i set my alarm, but easily fell back asleep, and well, here I am. lol… god i’m out of it. I’m supposed to go chill with Jenn, Christine and Jerick a lil later (yes, he gave her a call, actually, after she called him), so that should be interesting. Right now I might go get some food with Anna or something.
Something I forgot to mention in my last entry, which you all may get a laugh out of: When I was in the elevator going down from 8th floor PLC with friends from Greek, I exclaimed suddenly, “Wait… it’s Memorial Day on Monday, right? I love Memorial Day! I LOVE DEAD PEOPLE!!” wahahahahhah….. my friends all looked at me kinda funny, and I just laughed and said to my friend Chris, “I guess I’m the king of the inappropriate comment today.” I dunno… I thought it was funny 
anyways…. that’s all for now, everyone. move along, nothing to see here, these aren’t the droids you’re looking for… peace.
1 Comment
You are such an idiot. It is so funny. It is nice to know that you like the dead people.
Posted 5/28/2005 at 10:31 PM by ryznstar2000
well, it’s been a lovely day, no? it was very strange for me, a lot of things happened…. so i’ll have to tell all about them now these days (i’m rather ashamed of it, actually), i’ve not been waking up on time, and hence my mum’s been giving me rides to school. i feel like an idiot, but it’s also been to conserve gas too, since i’ve been so low on gas lately. anyways, it seems like I wake up at 07.00, then fall back asleep and wake up at 08.15, then 09.15. very weird. so i didn’t get out of bed until probably 09.30, and then got ready for school and all. i copied and blew up my Greek homework pages on the copier, and it printed on my dad’s company’s stationery… which was weird, but the Greek didn’t get mixed up by the lettering on the paper so it was fine. (these small details, I surmise, help to form the entire picture). went to school and got to Tragedy, and we talked about Thyestes some more, then we did course evaluations. we got done around 20mins early, so I went off to the library to study Greek, and ended up finishing all but ~10 lines of the assignment. i really need to learn to do my Greek the day before class… and i’ve already learned on Latin.
after I got done with school, my mum was going to come pick me up, but then Jenn called and she said she could come pick me up and we’d get lunch, etc. etc. so I walked over to Alder and waited for her, and I swear… summer is one of the greatest times of the year. All of the most gorgeous girls come out of the woodwork, so to speak, and well, it’s brilliant with all of their shining beauty. just stood there smiling, and then Jenn came and picked me up. now i had a dilemma here… we wanted to go get lunch, and I was going to get paid today, so we needed to go to my work and get my check and then cash it. my dilemma, however, was that I had another check, a check from February that I hadn’t cashed yet!! how a check got put into my wallet and forgotten about fucking escapes me, and it was $80 too…. and apparently the check has a thing saying “Void after 90 days.” The check date said 18 February 2005; hence it became void on 18 May. Oh, I remember now… I asked my friend Evin, who I work with, about this, and he said I should talk to my manager or call the corporate people about it.
well anyways, we had to go back to my house and get the check, because I’d left it sitting in my car. Jenn was kinda pissed about this, though… actually, she was more pissed about what was to come. Apparently we had planned on going on a date tonight, and I completely spaced and forgot about it… I honestly don’t remember talking to her about going on a date tonight though *shrugs*. anyways, she was really pissed that I didn’t remember, and we got into a little fight about all of it. She refused to take me home, and started driving towards Hendricks Park, and we argued back and forth and did a lot of really stupid shit. Finally I gave in and talked to her though about all of it, and it turned out alright. We actually talked about something else, too, which had been gnawing at me — the matter of me leaving Eugene. to be honest, I just kinda thought we’d talk about it the day before I left and it’d be alright, and I’d disappear and not come back. That may sound callous to most of you, but it’s the way I felt. Just kinda wanted to make a clean break of things, etc. We talked about it though, and I realised that I ought to at least give long-distance a chance, even though it might be hard, and to stick to our original plan that we had. Our original plan was to ’stay together’ and try to make things work, but also be able to date other people if we needed/wanted to… hence having somewhat of an open relationship. Now I guess that seems the most logical to me, because I can’t cut her off, I can’t just disappear like that, and hey, perhaps we really are meant to be together, who knows? All I know is that time apart will help us find that out easier… at least physically apart. as I said, I’d had these feelings of such desolation, detachment, and I guess I shouldn’t have.
I think things will be alright, whatever happens. anyways, we talked about all that, and we sat up in the rhododendron gardens in the park above my grandparents’ house. After that, we went back to get my check from my car, and we went over to work to get my paycheck and to enquire about the “void” paycheck of mine. My friends were working, and they said “How could you ‘forget’ about a check? Do you have a really big wallet or something?!?” I was like no, I was just an idiot, etc., etc., and they said I’d probably not be able to cash it. I also realised that I hadn’t worked in the last two weeks, and hence had no paycheck. Fuck. I thought, hey, might as well try cashing the check anyways and see if the bank takes it. Went into the bank and they took it without a hitch, leaving me very surprised and $80 richer. I got $20 out for some lunch and etc., and got some BK for lunch while Jenn got Hodgepodge. We ate in the car, and then we wanted to go see Star Wars Episode 3, so I called 411 to get some theatre showtimes. By this time it was around 16.30, and they had a showing at 16.50 or 17.50, and we were going to try to make it to the 16.50 showing. I got in the driver’s seat and drove like a bat out of hell, and then all of a sudden Jenn asked me to stop and pull over because she thought she’d been stung by a bee. I pulled into the nearest parking lot, and she looked around for a stinger or something of the like, but we couldn’t find anything. Turns out it was this tiny little black bug biting her, surprisingly venomous for such a small insect, and she was alright. Apparently she is deathly allergic to beestings; I remember one time when she got a beesting and her face swelled up for a long while…. agh.
Anyways, we made it to the movie on time — well, relatively on time, we were 5mins late — and sat down, preparing for an exciting ride. The movie was fucking awesome compared to the last two movies, but it still had spotty, shitty dialogue in many different parts. It was weird as hell, since some characters would show absolutely no pathos when it required it, or too much when it was not required by the scene, and it just made me wince. Otherwise, it was fucking amazing, and I’m really glad I saw it. It was definitely the darkest of the three prequels, and as I wrote earlier, people like it better just like they prefer the Inferno over Paradiso.. not to compare the two, though.
After we watched the movie, we went back to my house to get my car. I went in and proceeded to shave (cf. the new profile pic), and afterwards, I checked my email and such just for a sec, and then went upstairs and out the door. Planned to go pick up Claude at his house, and then go over to Jenn’s to hang out with her and Christine. When we got there, Christine said that her friend Annie wanted to hang out, her friend from work, and thus we needed to go pick her up. Me and Claude went with Christine to show her the way to Annie’s house, and so we got there and picked her up, and then went back to Jenn’s. Now — I finally tried my strawberry vodka!! The four of us (all except Claude, who had water) mixed some of it into orange juice, and it tasted fucking awesome! it even smelled awesome! i was happy…. and so we played some Texas Hold ‘em poker, which Annie taught us how to play. I had no idea… but it was kinda fun, in a weird sort of way. I kicked the most ass and got some major chips… we cleaned Annie out so badly that she was using Jenn’s Red Vines as poker chips! LOL…
We debated for awhile, and I agonised over how to get home if I wanted to drink a bunch, and Claude kept suggesting we just take him home (fuck…), but we finally agreed that I’d be the DD for tonight and drive all of them around. Annie’s boyfriend said that “Samurai Duck” was a good bar, and so we decided to check it out, but it had a $5 cover and from what it looked like inside, it wasn’t worth the motherfucking cover. We decided then to go over to Indigo District, which has proven to be awesome in the past, and so we sat down on the couches there and chilled. No one got any drinks, though, surprisingly; the girls didn’t want to, and Claude kept bitching and moaning about everything. I don’t know why he was so fucking disappointing tonight, but he just was determined to have a shitty time, or at least make everyone else have a shitty one. He kept talking about Louisiana and how much he hates Eugene, and how he wishes he could go to Rennie’s with Paul and Tarascio or some shit like that. I for one got fucking tired as hell of it, and I don’t know if I’m going to go out to the bars with him again if he pulls this kinda shit.
This is where it got interesting. The girls went to the bathroom, and meanwhile I waited there with Claude, just chillin. They came back suddenly, and said that there was a girl lying down in one of the stalls with her head between her legs, unmoving. Christine accidentally stumbled in upon her, looking for a stall, and she saw her and asked “Are you okay?” No response. Annie asked the same, and there was no response. They didn’t want to touch her or anything, and the whole scene sounded like something out of Ring or something of the like. They even said her hair was covering her face, which reminded me of Ring even more, lol! They thought she mighta been dead or something, or passed out, and so they went over and told an employee about the girl in there. I thought, “hey, cool, we might have a death on our hands tonight! This night’s just gotten more interesting…” lol… I told Christine that, and she’s like “David!” and hit me playfully. I was kidding, I didn’t hope the girl would die or anything, but the morbid majority of my meandering thoughts thought of death. Some employees came by with buckets, huge buckets that looked like they’d hold water or blood or whatever, and I assumed they were giving her something to puke in. no idea. the girls were all worried about her, and they said they weren’t going to drink anything until they knew she was okay. Claude, meanwhile, was still being a huge pain in the ass, and I wished I hadn’t brought him along. I went to go to the bathroom myself to take a piss, and when I got out I saw the girl they’d been talking about, drunkly leaning on her boyfriend’s (?) shoulder. felt sorry for her, glad she was alright, and I walked back to the couches.
I thought hey, fuck it, I’m gonna get a PBR, they’re only $2, and one beer isn’t going to fuck up my driving. it’s very ironic when the designated driver ends up being the only one drinking, I must say, and Christine pointed out this extreme irony to me. I only drank about half of it, and then I worried that Jenn would get pissed at me when I kissed her goodnight after I took Christine home, so I asked Christine for some gum to hide the alcohol on my breath. by now it was almost 2am, and so I said we should get going home, and get going we did. Claude kept bitching about Rennie’s, but I said dude, if you want to go there, go home and drive there. We dropped Annie off first, since she lived (well, her b/f lives) by South, and then we dropped Claude off at his place. I drove Christine back to hers, of course, and then said goodnight to Jenn before I left. After I left, I went down Roosevelt to 99, and then to Jack in the Box to get some dinner. You see, I hadn’t had anything to eat since BK at like 4pm. got some food and headed home, and now here I am, fading beyond the walls of sleep soon. talked to Melissa for a few secs when I got back, and then I told her I was going to start writing this, so here I am. it’s a lil after 4am and I’m gonna get some sleep soon… until later, all of you have a wonderful night and thank you for reading i’ll write more soon. much love to all of you!
as i drove home from jenn’s tonight i felt an incredible sense of desolation, even with the windows open and the wind rushing by, even with music as my companion. the air, at least near her house, was redolent with that familiar papery smell of processed wood, and it reminded me of working back in the summer of ‘02. weird how that smell actually brought back somewhat good memories, even though all my memories of that place are pretty much hellish. i was thinking of wasteland, of complete desolation, an exanimate lack of life in the very earth itself. i’ve wondered when i drive by this small piece of property near Jenn’s house if it was once an overgrown, wild field with flowers blooming, or at least something blooming. apparently it’s a business park or something, or future business park, and it lies off of a quaintly-named street: Cloudburst Lane. fitting for Oregon, no doubt. something there always catches my eye when I drive by; perhaps it was one day when the place was shining from recent rain, or when the clouds were ominously gathered about the field. I don’t remember exactly.
i thought of one night when i was driving home down 99, which turns into 7th Av., a familiar stretch of road to me by now… and I looked at the sky that night, and it looked like ashes. the dying light looked like ashes, ashes at twilight. I thought it sounded like a great title for a book or movie, or something of the like even. driving home tonight I felt a sense of emptiness that I haven’t felt for awhile. Jenn told me how much she was going to miss me when I go to San Francisco, and I told her I’d miss her too, which I will. She was really sad tonight and worried, almost as if I were leaving tomorrow, and I tried to do the best I could to comfort her. I almost feel as if I’m detaching myself already, emotionally preparing myself for leaving, which is perhaps a natural defence and something to not worry about. It felt weird though, because while I held her tight, I felt detached at the same time, outside myself, above all of this. It didn’t necessarily feel good, but weird and new. I dunno… I resolved that I’d talk to Christine about this, and perhaps I will when I get a chance. She is pretty wise about this sort of thing, and she knows Jenn better than I do in some ways (they’ve been friends since senior(?) year of high school…). oh well, there is a time for everything… the kairos, “right time,” perhaps.
all I know is that I didn’t get any homework done tonight either. bleh. lol… so I’m going to finish up Thyestes (mmm… brains anyone? fillet o’ filius anyone??), and then go to sleep and hopefully wake up on time tomorrow. then Greek…. then the weekend!
p.s. Becky (Tenshi), I’m glad I met you, you’re fucking awesome!! I’m sorry we haven’t talked in a couple days. I doubt you read this, but it’s here in case you do, lol…. and Laura, thank you for being the awesome girl you are, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow sleep tight all of you!
~ edit (00.41): wow… i just looked at my archive file, the last one I did, and I have 248pg worth of material. that’s with formatting and all, and might be less in book form, but fuck, 248pg… that’s a book right there, albeit a short one! i’d better keep going and i hope all of you don’t mind if i use your comments in it when I publish it…. i’ve been thinking lately that I may have to get permission for some of the photos and such, but otherwise, I think it’s all go… in a couple years at least peace and goodnight, for real. ~
this is the last time i’ll ever skip a class. i feel so bad about it. i think i would have felt worse if I went though, having not done my homework. in fact, this is the last time I’ll ever not get my homework done for class. seriously. i’m going to study all weekend getting my Latin done, and I have Monday off too even, so it should be fine. argh. i feel like such a loser when I do this.
I’ve not told many people about the pills I used (key word: used) to take, because a lot of people are judgmental. Not my friends, but people in general — but the people I have told are like “whatever, i don’t care” so it’s all good. It really doesn’t matter though, I guess, because it seems like everyone’s on something these days. Not me though…. I pride myself in being clean, at least of drugs and smoking — Alcohol’s a different story. I’m not a huge drinker, but when I do drink, I try to drink a lot…. but hey, I’m so broke these days, it’s ridiculous to go to the bar. besides, that strawberry Smirnoff is still sitting over in Jenn’s liquor cabinet i’ve debated just taking it home and drinking it while watching a movie… or hey, maybe even writing on here while drunk..? eh!? heheh Alright, enough of that, LOL… I don’t have that much in the way of philosophy percolating through my head lately. If I do I’ll let you all know. However, I must tell you about my weekend, which was pretty interesting and weird.
saturday, 21 may: as you all know, I went to sleep around 5am, and I didn’t wake up till around 12. I don’t think I got out of bed until at least 1 or 2 though, and I kept playing Blood2, which has been a favourite of mine lately. The formal started at 19.00, but I didn’t even start getting ready until around 6pm, and I can’t remember why I delayed so long. Oh shit, I remember now! I had to go to mass at 5pm, because me and my group had to advertise for the Mexico trip! bleh…. so I got there around 16.45, and no one from my group had showed up except one person, Nancy, and so I went into church and sat next to her. We were supposed to make our announcement right after communion, and Dismas was going to play the Mexico video from last year, after which we’d do our announcement. I kept thinking of what to say during mass, and was composing a speech in my head. I felt almost like Cicero, who reportedly walked around in empty temples or buildings of some kind, reciting his speeches to himself and composing them in his head, reciting them over and over to memorise them.
I kept thinking up all these brilliant things to say, things to make the trip sound enticingly fun and great so that the people at church could donate some money for our cause. Nancy hadn’t gone with Newman before, so I figured I’d have to tell a bit about my experiences before, and so I also figured I’d be doing much of the speaking. Hence I prepared well, but as most of us know, we have a lot of great shit to say before we get up there, but then when you actually get there, it all disappears down the drain. I did fairly well though, and told everyone that it’s a good cause and it’s a fuck of a lot of fun, and Nancy said a bit too, and then we said we’d be taking donations outside afterwards, smiled and sat back down. After that, I saw a couple of people dressed up for the dance that night, and I realised I was very underdressed (in a polo shirt and some slacks). I headed home after a few (it was around 18.00 by then) and thankfully my parents were home. I had to borrow one of my dad’s dress shirts, a suit jacket and a tie. By the time I got ready to go, it was almost 19.00, sadly, and I apologised to Jenn for being late. I got to her house around 19.10 or so, and then we got to the formal around 19.30. Luckily, they didn’t start eating yet; we got there just in time for them to go upstairs to eat. We ate up in the chapel area, actually, and they had catered (?) lasagna, salad, and dinner rolls.
We sat down and ate, and me and Jenn sat next to Jake and Claude, and Claude’s date Holly wasn’t there yet. Surprisingly, the lasagna was good… I usually don’t like that shite. But that’s the boring stuff… after talking for a lil while, we all went downstairs. This is where the actual “dance” part came in. Apparently they had a swing dancing teacher who was going to give us lessons, and so we all got lined up and etc and followed his directions. I kept fucking it up though, and didn’t understand a word of it *shrugs*. I kept trying it with Jenn, and she just ended up laughing at me, so I got somewhat pissed off and pretty much gave up. Everyone else looked like they were having a lot of fun, which was great, but I wasn’t really. I just wanted to say fuck it all, but we kept trying, and then they decided to just start playing normal music, and it was ok. They started playing a slow song, and Jenn really wanted to slow dance, but I said “just a sec, I’m getting a drink” and went into the other room. She was ridiculously pissed, because I think in the almost-3 years we’ve been going out, we’ve not slow-danced once. I know it sounds asinine. I just don’t go to dances much really… *shrugs* Both of us being pretty stubborn, we both stewed for awhile, and I was about to say fuck it and go home, but then I apologised to her, and when the next slow song came on, we danced to it, and she was happy. My friend Danielle was there with her boyfriend too, and we talked to them both for a bit, and I introduced her to Jenn. I think Claude kinda ditched Holly though, and Jake sort of took over (he didn’t have a date)… who knows, those two might be an item or something! lol…
We got our pictures taken together too, which was cool, and then rocked out on the dance floor a bit. Eventually we had to go though, because Jenn and I both had to work the next day, sadly. Thus we drove back to her house, and when we got there, Dan’s car was there. I parked in the driveway behind her car, and she goes, “Oh, hell no… Why is he here?!?” Dan and Christine had just broken up the day before, and I think both of us were worried that he was coming to try to get her back. We went in the house and into Jenn’s room, and she asked me to go get Christine so we could talk, but I said no, you do it, blah blah blah, and we went back and forth for awhile until she finally did it. She said she didn’t feel comfortable with Dan in the house, and she didn’t want to stay there alone with those two. She went up to Christine’s door and knocked, and Christine ignored her. I went up then and said “Christine? Can we talk to you?” She came in for a sec, and Jenn had only said a couple words before she stormed off back to her room and me and Jenn stood there amazed and surprised. A minute later, Jenn went up there, threw Christine’s door wide open and said “Dan, I don’t feel comfortable with you here. If you two need to be together, go to Dan’s house, because I can’t do this.” I’m paraphrasing…. Jenn was pretty upset about the whole deal, and I just tried to make her feel better, but didn’t succeed much. We finally ended up going to her parents’ house, and so I followed her over there and spent some time with her there, then left for home, wearied as hell. I think I went to bed around 1am or so, falling into troubled sleep.
sunday, 22 may: woke up around 06.30, had to be at wRk at 8. i don’t think i got out of bed until late though, and i got on clothes and rolled out the door. another day, another dollar, right? it was as normal a day as it can be at wRk, and I found myself incredibly bored most of the time. i don’t say much about work because it isn’t really a large part of my life, it’s just another bullshit semi-necessity that I could usually do without. speaking of that, I get paid tomorrow (27th), or should at least. perhaps there’ll be enough $ for me to get a couple drinks at the bar.. who knows? in any case, I suffered through work, sans lunch because I was sadly sans money, but Jenn said it was ok if I used $10 on her card. I neglected to mention that Jenn gave me her credit card to hang on to while we were at the dance on Saturday, and I still had it in my wallet the next day (I actually didn’t get it back to her until Tuesday night). Hence she said I could get $10 out for some food, and I did so. Apparently Safeway had Chinese food or something cooking that day, because I smelled fried rice, and it smelled so good that I went over to Lok Yaun and got a Daily Special: fried rice and chicken, as well as BBQ pork (which I’m not a huge fan of). I love fried rice though (doesn’t everyone?)… I could eat that shit all fucking day if I wanted to. I got some, went home, and threw on some Family Guy (I think? mighta been Married with Children), and relaxed for a bit. I got off of wRk at 15.00, and I had to go to the Mexico meeting at 18.00, so I had a couple hours to play around beforehand.
unfortunately, I tend to avoid things that loom terrifying above me, such as the Euripides essay I had to write for Tragedy. we’ll get to that later, though. went to the mexico meeting, and they wanted us to give them copies of our IDs and such, and well… my new passport arrived! I think I forgot to mention that too… I’d applied for it like 10 May (q.v.) and I’m glad I paid the $60 to get it expedited, because it came on Friday (i think?). so that was illy. the mexico meeting was fun, but I didn’t want to stay for mass since I’d already gone the night before, and thus I went home afterwards. i still didn’t get much done in the way of homework, however, which was sad — ended up just dicking around per the usual. mind you, I remembered I had an essay to write, but I just didn’t want to write it… yet, at least. I must have done nothing up until about midnight, and then it became 3am and I’d still not written a page.
monday, 23 may: somehow I fell asleep, and woke up at 06.30, terrified, my paper having not even been started yet! I worked on turning on my brain as it cycled through its startup procedures, and I sat down to write my paper at 07.00. Somehow 3 pages flowed out of me, I finished a bit after 9, and then read a bunch of Seneca’s Thyestes before I got to class. Luckily, no quiz, and I ended up finishing my Greek up too for the most part, surprisingly.
~ ed’s note: i’ve been interrupted a couple times in writing this, but you wouldn’t have known that unless i threw this in here, lol… ~
I asked my friend Nick what happened in Latin on Thursday, since I wasn’t there (yes, bad me! bad!), and he said that we were having a quiz the next day. fuck. Thus I knew I had to study a bunch, but still ended up not studying hardly one bit. We also had 60 lines to read for after the quiz, which I didn’t finish either. Fuck. As far as I remember, I ended up fucking around all night (do you see a trend, people?) and not getting any studying done. The most studying I got done was Tuesday morning….
tuesday, 24 may: I got to school around 11 or so and looked over some Latin before class. Otherwise, I went into the exam completely unprepared, at least unstudied. It was a passage, luckily, that I knew very well — the speeches of Apollo and Phaethon, and Phaethon’s request to drive the chariot of the sun, which Apollo cannot deny, since he swore on the Styx that he would give his son anything he wished (start of Ovid’s Metamorphoses 2). It took all of us a good 40mins to do the exam, and then it came to reading time, and I prepared to sightread if need be. However, I didn’t need to, since she started with someone else (I usually start), and so I was saved for the time being. Turned out I was saved all along, since time ran out before we circled around the table to me (Thursday, today, though, didn’t go so well — I didn’t go again, vid. inf.).
after I got home, I was going to go to Jenn’s, but didn’t have any gas nor money to get more. my mum was supposed to give me some cash, but she didn’t have any either, sadly. Jenn told me I should use $5 from her card to get some gas, and I finally gave in after much complaining. got $5 out of the atm, went to fred meyer to get gas, then to her house. now I didn’t get hardly any homework done there, which has been the trend lately, and it’s not Jenn’s fault… lol… oh, btw, Christine was feeling better… Dan apparently came over there just to get closure on their relationship really, and both of them knew that it was over and it was better that it was over. I was happy for her, because it seemed like the right decision to make. We hung out, and Jenn had made tacos, which were pretty fucking good. I went with Christine to go get some ice cream at Albertsons afterwards, and we got some Breyer’s mint chip and Tin Roof Sundae… fucking great ice cream. I’m sure you guys like that shite too… it’s fucking awesome. In any case, after that, we watched House M.D. — I believe it was the season finale. It’s a pretty bloody well-done show, and Jenn got me into it… I like the episodes I’ve seen of it at least, and I hope it goes on for another season.
after awhile, I went home around 11 or so, having neither done Greek nor Tragedy. god, I am such a motherfucking slacker this term, it’s sad… I don’t think I read either until the next morning, however, and I got lucky and it turned out ok.
wednesday, 25 may: this was a good day, as most Wednesdays are. now, as you probably saw… the eternally lovely Melissa invited me to coffee with her this lovely night! so of course I accepted, and we were planning on meeting at 19.30. more on that in a sec. I got to school, and read some more of Thyestes, as much as I could. After I got out of Tragedy, I immediately went to the library to study, since I had no $ for anything to eat, and I needed to get through close to 50 lines in 2hrs. Well, I averaged 25 lines an hour, insanely, and after I finished translating, I had about 20mins to scan all those lines metrically. I did it, too… I was scribbling near the end, and my hand hurt like fucking hell, but I did it all, and felt good about it. When I got to class, I translated twice, including the last passage (which detailed the blessings of Peleus, such as his bride Thetis). always fun. after class, went home, relaxed. My mum bought my cap and gown for me, apparently, from the bookstore, and so that was a relief.
I also got invited to be a member of Phi Beta Kappa, which is apparently a very prestigious honour society recognised internationally, and so I have to pay $70 to join. My mum is in PBK as well, and I guess it’ll help me get into a doctoral program as well as being a good thing for my résumé, so I was happy about that. I need to finish the application and send the $ in and all Otherwise, I went home, relaxed, as I said, and still didn’t do any homework (which led to my downfall today, Thursday). far as I know I went to Taco Bell for some lunch too, and watched some Married with Children while I ate… gotta love it! actually… a BIG highlight…. I talked to my friend Laura, who I just met recently on Myspace, and we got on webcams and talked on the phone at the same time! it was so fucking great! she is an amazingly gorgeous girl, but even moreso, she’s smart and sweet and really fun to talk to! i’m really glad we got to talk… we must have talked for like an hour or something on the phone, and I was sad when I had to get off the phone 
Oh well… we have all sorts of time to talk! I miss you already Laura lol…. we’ll talk soon though. I hope you enjoy reading this today, actually
I was supposed to meet Melissa at 19.30, but then she asked me if we could move it back to 8 because she got tied up at wRk. fine by me! she even said she might want to come to mass, which she hadn’t been to in almost a year or something, which I was ecstatic about 
so I met her at 8, drove down to the EMU and met her at the Buzz there. I got a hot chocolate with my last $3, and sat down and talked with her. It was really good to talk with Melissa, since I haven’t actually seen her in a LONG time. we’ve both been so busy, and we talk occasionally on AIM (not as often as we should!), and so it was really good to see her. We talked about all sorts of things… I asked her how she’d been doing, vice versa, etc, and we just talked, just relaxed and talked. I even ran my “hell” idea by her (which I mentioned earlier [vid. sup.]), and she just thought I was crazy, lol Oh well. I am a strange individual, alright. When it was almost 21.00, we started heading for my car, and she had to show me this huge silver armchair that apparently was a piece of art on display. She said “I always see the lesbians sitting there when I walk by… they infect it” (I’m paraphrasing lol), and I’m like “aww cmon, they’re people too!” lol… Melissa, you’re awesome, I know you’re reading this.. I mean no disrespect We actually had an interesting conversation about that, or part of one, in which I said “well, as long as they aren’t butch and scary and they’re hot, I’ve got no problem with lesbians making out in front of me!” lol…. well…. that’s a sentiment most guys would echo I guess. I’ve got mad respect either way, I think it’s a great thing that everyone can express their love in different ways and have it be just as wonderful as “normal” heterosexual relationships.
Anyways, I’m going off on a tangent here. Me and Melissa went to my car and got in, and we drove over to Newman. We met up with Tarascio in the parking lot, and we both said what’s up to him and then went to the church. Said hi to everyone… it was like a party up there… and then went in. Claude wasn’t there, surprisingly, but it was because he was at Star Wars Ep3. He came to church a bit late, but he came… I sat next to Jake and Mikey, and Melissa sat a few seats down… I was sad I didn’t get to sit next to her, lol Otherwise, we went through church, and it was fun as usual, with all the students there and everything. Afterwards is always great though … we went downstairs and chilled and had food and all that per the usual, and it was really great having Melissa there. I talked with Jake and Holly and Claude a bunch, and then talked to Melissa some before she left, and me, her, and Claude actually left together. She gave me a hug goodbye, and I told her maybe we’d see Star Wars on Friday night. It might happen, but might not… I might be seeing it on Saturday actually. note: tell her this… lol… anyways, after I got home, I pretty much didn’t do anything, and ended up going to bed around 01.30 or so.
thursday, 26 may: i completely forgot that this was my uncle’s 45th birthday! wow… i should call him. i’ll prob call him tomorrow though. anyways, I woke up late, stupidly, and I hadn’t done my homework — over 100 lines to be finished by today. i wrestled with it and wrestled with it, and decided not to go today either i felt pretty ashamed, and i feel like an idiot for it, but it’s better than going unprepared. Tuesday I will have *everything* ready. so I played Blood2 most of the morning, and then just chilled and relaxed, and Anna wanted me to get her at 3pm. I actually forgot to go get her, and she had to call me… lol.. I am really scatterbrained today.
went and got Anna, and I was writing this when she called, and then came back and started writing again. My dad called then and he asked if we wanted to get some dinner, and I said sure, so we met him down at Hong Kong to get some food. it was good to talk to my dad and spend some time with him… after that, we went home, and here I am. I’m actually off to Jenn’s right now, so I’ll write more later, I promise. You know it’s coming sometime soon, of course… always does anyways, i love you all and I’ll be back later… gonna throw on some tunes and hop in my car and go gotta get my backpack together so I can do some studying over there — and yes, I will study tonight — and then I’m out of here. Peace and love to all of you.
1 Comment
Oh my gosh, it’s like reading a novel!! Anyways just thought that I would say hi. I miss you!!! Moving home next week!!
Posted 5/27/2005 at 12:39 PM by pinkprncess7
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