Ξ Thursday, 17 Mar 2005 at 17:00 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
i just HAD to post this shit from kenlayne.com:
wahahahahah! hysterical. peace.
Ξ Thursday, 17 Mar 2005 at 14:58 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
i’m feeling ill. i dont know what it is. i had chinese food for lunch, then had a bowl of crunch berries. i think that might have factored into it somehow. in any case, i woke up around 10.00, when jenn called me. tired. i guess i was kind of a dick to her on the phone, and we had a lil fight, and i felt bad about it. it was alright though. we made up. she called me back and said “i just wanted to say happy anniversary” — we still, sentimental and mushy as it might be, count by the months we’ve been together. *shrugs* it’s kinda weird, but oh well. it’s also st. paddys today, as i said in the last post. yay! but yeah, i didn’t get out of bed until around 12.30 when i went up and had some lunch. i still haven’t started on my papers yet, yes, papers. bleh. i need to lay down for a bit and relax and collect my thoughts. one highlight of the morning however.
at around 11.45, i fell back asleep for a short 15mins. i don’t know whether i was daydreaming or what, but somehow i dreamt. Kirs from IRC was in my dream too. i was laying there in front of the tv down the hall from my room, and she was laying in front of me, and i put my arms around her and hugged her close. as abruptly as it started, though, it faded into ethereal mist, and, cum gemitu fugi indignatus ex somni velo (with a groan, I fled, indignant, from the curtain of sleep). in case you missed the reference, it is from Vergil Aen. 12.952, vitaque cum gemitu fugit indignata sub umbras (and his life, indignant, fled with a groan to Shades below), the death of Turnus in the very last line of the Aeneid.
that was how it felt though, ripped from a pleasant dream. i hate when that shite happens. fucking hate it. and we always try to go back to sleep to reconnect with that beautiful, fleeting dream, but alas, the connexion is made but once, and once broken cannot be reforged, just as the beautiful, fleeting, terrifying dream that is our mortal life is only gifted to us once. of course if you’re christian, well, that’s a different story, but I won’t go into that. theology is not a topic i am very comfortable with, and furthermore, i’d feel as if i were preaching, when i have no right to do so. hence i won’t, and i’m not the authority on that anyways. my dark knowledge… nec me animi obscura fallit mea reperta (it does not deceive me [of my spirit] that my discoveries are obscure; cf. Lucretius De rerum natura 1.136), but perhaps you all understand those tortuous paths by now. think of Zork 1: You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. i’m not that indecipherable, am I? i always thought I was an open book… lol.
anyways, enough writing for now. much love to you all, and i’ll be writing my papers all day probably, so give me all the encouragement you can. peace.
Ξ Thursday, 17 Mar 2005 at 04:13 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
“WHILE THE WICKED STAND CONFOUNDED
CALL ME WITH THY SAINTS SURROUNDED“
– Boondock Saints
brilliance, sheer brilliance. i even set that as my MSN nick. in any case, welcome back to the show. what’s up with everyone out there? how are your finals going, if you still have them? hopefully they’re going well. my god, it’s been a weird week per the usual, and it’s about half over. funny how my muse strikes at 3am. it better fucking strike tomorrow, since I have 3 (count ‘em, 3) papers to write tomorrow. fuckin shit…. I can do them though, i’m sure of it. so, i know there’s holes in my story. let’s rewind a bit. oh yeah, HAPPY ST PADDY’S MOTHERFUCKERS!
monday, 14 march: death strikes. no, not really. but i had to study, and i ended up not really studying at all. me not studying + 2 finals the next day == abject terror. now generally this terror is unfounded, because i generally do well on the tests nonetheless, so you may dismiss it as a false alarm, crying wolf, bleh, whatever. perhaps it is just the way i deal with things, i don’t know. if i remember correctly, i didn’t do shit monday. for some reason i remember it was a good monday though somehow. i finally started studying around 21 or 22.00, and it hit me that I wasn’t going to get all that much done this late in the game. i had my art history and latin finals the next day, and so i read through a bunch of my art history textbook and all, and i think i made a digiorno pizza for dinner and ate it outside in the darkening night. it was beautiful that night, like 60° and the skies were completely clear and gorgeous. as the light died away i went inside and studied downstairs. i ended up reading through all the art history text i could, and then i tried to read some latin. no dice on that. i therefore resolved that i’d wake up at 05.00 the next morning and study, my final not until 10.15, so i had plenty of time. went to sleep around midnight, still verily terrified.
tuesday, 15 march (early a.m.): i woke up on time at 05.00. being the lazy motherfucker i am (in some respects at least), i didn’t get out of bed and laid there looking at the ceiling. as one would expect, i didn’t stay awake long, and woke up again at 06.40 after fatuously falling asleep again. truth be told, i didn’t end up getting out of bed until 8am. t-minus 2:15 before my first (and hardest) exam. i didn’t want to risk driving, either, since parking is a bitch. it’s a fucking bitch anyways, but during finals… i am not even going to fuck with that shit. so my mum took me to skool i think (or was it my dad? i can’t remember), and i got there around 08.30 or so. i proceeded to study my ass off for art history, do some last minute shit, and so i did. looked through the book like crazy, looked at sculptures and views of the acropolis, etc. etc. and also my own typed notes.
mid-morning to afternoon: i got into the classroom around 10.00, and sat down. everyone was there, well, almost everyone was there by that time, and i sat down next to some girl, and then another girl came and sat next to me. i was flanked by two girls, then, one on my right who smelled pretty nice — it’s like that freshly-shampooed smell, i dunno… its a feminine, girl smell, and it’s the most heavenly in the world. in any case, the best part of class was yet to come. so i’m sitting down, and this one girl comes in, one who i’ve seen all quarter and who sat next to me a couple times. she’s kinda chubby, but doesnt really look it, or ‘wears it well’ or whatever you wanna say. in any case, all quarter she had been wearing sweatshirts and regular tops and shite, and today she was wearing a v-neck. holy shit!!!!!!!! wow. yeah. i was lamenting that i didn’t sit next to her. i couldnt look back at her either, since she was sitting in back of me, but i tried to steal covert glances. bahaha…. i am such a nut. anyways, she was fucking hot.
so then the test started, and we had 5 slide IDs, all of which i was fairly shaky on. oh well. i did the best i could. after that came the heavy hitter though, the essay. we had two choices for the essay, and one of the choices was exactly what he had told us to focus on and study for. the essay was on the ways the Periklean Acropolis builds upon and references older buildings there (i.e. the Parthenon was built upon the ruins of the Older Parthenon, etc.) and why they do so. now that had been percolating in my head for awhile, and i was overjoyed that it was a question. i dove into it and answered it as best as i could, and i think i did really well. finished around 11.30, and i left the classroom for the last time, a free man, historiae catervis liber artis (“free from the chains of art history”). bahaha…
afterwards, as i said, it was around 11.30, and i had 1.5hrs to study for my Latin test. i decided to focus on the death of Turnus, from Aen. XI 887-950. however, this was not on the test, as i would soon see. i lay out in the sun on the grass in front of PLC, trying to concentrate and study amid the gleaming sun and the equally gleaming people walking by at every turn. eventually, though, the latter won out, and i went up to PLC 8th floor a bit before the test to sit in the room and study a bit more. but as i’ve done many a time before, i resigned myself to my fate. there comes a point for everyone at which if you don’t know it already, you aren’t ever going to. not before the test at least. hence i resigned myself to my fate stoically, and sat there waiting for the storm. everyone arrived, and we soon had the tests passed out. i was under the impression that we had to write on two “seen” passages (ones we’ve seen, obviously, and read in the course of the class) and one sight passage. however, we only had to write on one seen passage. I started with passage A, which was one I’d never seen before, unfortunately (chalk it up to my slow reading pace vs. the class’s fast pace). it was one from Book VII. i decided i’d try to sightread it, and so i got halfway through it before i realised that we could do either A OR B. B, amazingly enough, was one I had seen. I had read it in class, sightreading, coincidentally, and it was from Book VIII of the Aeneid, where Venus gives Aeneas his divine arms and Achillean shield, and describes the glorious shield. so i translated those ~30 lines, and then tackled the sight passage, which was from Book X or XI and was Turnus’ murder of Pallas. in any case, i finished around 14.15, and went out caelo sub caeruleo (under the cerulean [blue] sky) and to a certain degree of freedom. my mum picked me up, and we went home.
late afternoon/night: me and my dad went out to get some lunch/dinner, and then i went home. packed up my stuff and went over to jenn’s. sadly, she had a headache and sore throat, and i probably shouldn’t have gone over there in the first place. i wanted to make her feel better though, and to make her happy, so i stayed for a lil while. she was feeling horrible, and she said it was the worst headache she ever had. she started hyperventilating and moaning, however, and it got on my nerves, and the worst thing is i couldn’t do anything at all for her. her mum got home, and she couldn’t take the moaning or hyperventilating either, and i realised it was probably a good time to go home. not to be rude to her or anything, i love her, but she needed to get some rest and sleep. apparently her mum gave her a sleeping pill and she was able to get some rest, which was nice, and meanwhile i had gone home. nada done tuesday night either. just rejoicing and having fun, and watched another kungfu movie. i’ve been watching kungfu pretty much nonstop for the last week or so. it’s a strangely lovely thing to do. i eventually went to sleep, falling into ethereal, terrifying dreams.
wednesday, 16 march: woke up around 12pm (ultimately) this morning. jenn wanted me to come over in the morning, apparently feeling better, so i did. when i got over there she was in the shower, and well, i joined her, having not taken a shower before i left for that very reason. hell yeah. after that we just snuggled and did various shit, and chilled. i had let her borrow three of my DVDs, and she had watched all but one — Boondock Saints. yes, yes, yes! i’ve watched that movie twice since I got it, and today made #3. i think she liked it, or hope so at least. that movie is so fucking brilliantly amazing and fucking cool, seriously (cf. top of entry). we had to stop in the middle, though, since jenn and christine (her best friend, probably one of my best friends, and her roommate) are moving into christine’s mum’s trailer in a couple months, and they needed to get a loan. hence jenn had to meet christine at the bank, and then we decided to go out and get some dinner. we went to shari’s, and i had breakfast for dinner. yay. jenn paid, and i owe her — i feel bad that im so broke, but its the way it is, unfortunately. i get paid friday though 
anyways, we got back to jenn’s and watched the rest of the movie. after it was over, i had to go home, since i needed to study (i didn’t, however) and to go to mass at 21.00.
wednesday night/thurs. morning: ended up not studying at all. i watched episode #2 of point pleasant. that show is fucking illy. the main girl is fucking hot as hell! it’s a decent show though for sure. i left for mass at around 20.30, and waited around outside the church in the pouring rain. there is something i love about standing out in a rainstorm. it might sound insane to you, but it’s a wonderful feeling. i’m not talking exactly like singin’ in the rain kinda shit, but it’s just fun and wondrous. i stood there with the rain pouring around me and soaking all through me, and i looked up at the dark skies, looking for any remnants of stars or celestial bodies, but there were none. i remember i had this little motto awhile ago: “If you can walk through a squall and still have a smile on your face, then everything is going to be alright” or something of the like. it sort of went hand in hand with Nietzsche’s “What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger” ideology. I think that’s Nietzsche? dunno. i just remember walking through the rain one day and thinking that with a smile on my face.
well, eventually I had to go in, right? went inside and sat down. bullshitted with claude for a bit, and then some other people got there, finally. i had promised this girl Andrea that I would burn her the new Chris Rock CD, and well, I did, and I brought it tonight for her. she was there too, and I stopped her immediately and gave it to her, and she seemed really happy. she is a real sweetheart. i talked to her about her finals and all, and i found out she is a Human Physiology major. wow. i don’t know hardly anyone who is in that major, but then again, how many Classics students do I (or most of you) know? lol… but yeah, she seemed to be doing well, and I was glad. i sat in the row behind her. anyways, so we had mass, and during “peace” (the time when we all say ‘peace be with you’ and give hugs or handshakes), she gave me a hug — hence i was very, very happy. see, the ‘peace’ thing is ill. you get mad hugs from girls usually, which is always dope, and its aight from guys too, i mean its about brotherhood right? *shrugs* that hug from her was sure nice though! hehe…
after mass everyone was going to do the rosary. now i must sound like a good Catholic boy — sorry — but I did it with everyone. partly because it intrigues me, and partly because I wanted to stay for the free food afterwards. the rosary kinda weirds me out, because it seems like it is a bunch of empty, monotonous, machinated prayers. the way we rushed through them felt like they had absolutely no meaning, although we did about 40 “Hail Marys” and all that. i dunno, it just seems weird to me, but i did it. went downstairs for food and to talk to people afterwards, but i ended up bailing after not too long and going home. when i got home, i tried to fix my sis’s computer some more (it’s been out of commission for over a week), but to no avail, and i gave up on it. perhaps during spring break. in any case, another kungfu movie was on the roster for tonight, and me and anna watched “Dragon Princess.” it was fucking ill just like all the others. afterwards, I watched 3 episodes of Wonder Years (only 1hr, since they’re 20mins apiece).
thursday, 17 march (early a.m.): here we are, and it’s 4am now. i’m tired and going to go to sleep soon. i know i haven’t done that promised poem, but it will come, trust me. perhaps this weekend. i’ll be around a little longer, but then i’m sleeping like a baby. i love you all and i hope this makes up for not writing much lately. again i hope all your finals are going well and that life is good as well. have a wonderful night, er, morning, er… oh well. much love. pZ.
1 Comment
That is a seriously awesome pick, from a fabulous movie. Just saying hi.
Hi.
)
Posted 3/19/2005 at 11:10 AM by AllieSenger
Ξ Monday, 14 Mar 2005 at 02:33 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
Alright. I know it’s been a week+, and I’m sorry. It’s been one fucking long week — aka dead week. so i’ll recap everything to the best of my knowledge. remember how i quoted thucydides before? yeah. well…. anyways, here goes. i think im losing my mind…. fuck… i really need to write this more often. so much happens in a week that i cant always remember it 
monday, 07 mar: as far as i remember, i went to class. then went to greek. then went home. it was a fairly uneventful day. however, my Gender&Sexuality paper was due the next day, so I was verily terrified. you probably think i’m courage the fuckin cowardly dog, right, since i keep saying i was terrified? well its true though… im not courage, but i do get scared sometimes, just like we all do. its more of a righteous kinda fear, more of a thrill than abject terror. in any case, i had to write my paper. 5-6pg on Ovid and Plato, comparing the dominant/submissive nature of sexuality in ancient Greece and Rome, and how social class affected sexuality and vice versa. it was interesting, to say the least.
tuesday, 08 mar (early a.m.): still was working on my paper, as usual. i eventually finished it, and i think i got to school on time somehow. can’t really remember how. turned in my paper, and then prepared for latin, which i was worried about attending. wait… motherfuck…. i dont think i went to latin that day. did i? shite, i really can’t remember. i know that i turned in my paper, and thats as much as i remember. i think i didnt go to latin though, because i was woefully underprepared. no, shite, im forgetting, that is what happened the thursday before. see, my mind is going! lol
afternoon/night: apparently yes, i did attend both classes. then…. i don’t remember at all what i did afterwards or that night. i might have seen jenn. that night, i should have been worrying about my Latin paper, but for some reason I wasn’t. I did end up checking out like 6 books from the library on it though, and then went home. I didn’t actually start reading the books until the next day, though, when I had to start writing.
wednesday, 09 mar: went to class per the usual, and then came home. i was worried about studying, since i had to give an oral report on my Vergil paper the next day, and so I tried to compile as much as I could regarding the paper. i stayed up really late, i think till almost 3am, and somehow i managed to write out a fair amount of notes and ideas, a skeleton for my paper i was to write the next day. the next morning was hellish, however.
thursday, 10 mar: i woke up too late. jenn came over and she was fucking pissed, because she said she would give me a ride and all, and i didnt get up on time. she wanted to go out to breakfast, too, and since i didn’t get up in time, well, we couldn’t, and we got into kind of a fight. finally though she dropped me off at school, and we made up, and it was ok. i was scared shitless though, because i had a total of about 80 minutes to finish up my presentation. i got to skool around 11.20, class at 12. then after class, i would have 40 more minutes (13.20-14.00), then off to class.
however, class was fucking ill that day in Latin, since my prof Lowell took us all out to the GLENWOOD to get some lunch! so i went over there and met up with my partners in crime, and we waited for her to arrive at the restaurant. then we went inside, sat down, ordered drinks, and eventually ordered food. we sat there for a bit drinking our drinks, and talking a bit before starting in, and then we translated the last parts of the text, the very end of Book XII of the Aeneid. while we were translating, our food came, and so we started eating. I got a bacon cheeseburger (yes, i know, very original, but oh well!), and i was hungry as hell (no breakfast) so i ate it fairly voraciously.
fatefully, however (how apt!), we then had to give our “oral reports.” i was scared for a second, but then i realised — we’re in a motherfucking restaurant, chillin, and eating lunch. how informal could it get? i had nothing to worry about! so i pulled my notebook out with my notes on it for my paper, and i just started talking about what i was going to write on. somehow i skillfully weaved ideas for a paper and thesis and all together, and they even asked me a bunch of questions, which helped. at the end, Lowell said “well, we went for 20 minutes, I’d say you did pretty well.” i smiled and sat back, listening to everyone else’s interesting paper ideas. after that, we left around 4, when class got out — the rest of the class was going to go have a beer with Lowell at Rennie’s, but I couldn’t, so I just ended up leaving. my mum had to come pick me up, since Jenn took me to school, so she came and got me, but she had to go to the bookstore to do some stuff. i drove the car around the block a couple times, found a parking spot, and waited for her. eventually she came, and i went home.
late afternoon/night: i am such a fucking procrastinator, i tell you. i got home, and i didn’t start writing yet. had to go pick up anna from school, and we went and got some dinner. if i remember correctly, too, jenn and christine wanted to come over and then meet me at IHOP to get some dinner as well later on, bahahaha. since i didnt have breakfast, it was alright though. i had breakfast for dinner, an then we went back to my place and tried to study. we weren’t too successful, and they left around 10pm or so. thus i was left with my thoughts and a paper hanging over my head. a 6-8pg paper. sad. i decided i’d better start in on it, and so i did, and the all-night studying started.
friday, 11 mar (early a.m.): i seem to remember i read through my books and started formulating ideas, and started writing things out on my handheld. it was slow going, however, and around 4am, i crashed. i woke up at 06.30, absolutely terrified, and immediately got back to work on the paper. i had decided i wasn’t going to go to the last class of art history, sadly, but that is how it goes sometimes, I guess. by 09.30, I had almost 9pg and was all but finished. i have no idea how the words flowed out of me, but they did, and it was brilliance. i even used footnotes, so it looked all professional! hehe… well… then i wanted my mum to proofread my paper, but she was down at the athletic club, so I had to drive down there and meet her.
she loved the paper, and so i thought ok, i’ll go turn it in. went to campus, got a parking place easily (surprisingly), and then went to PLC to turn the paper in. after that, i tried to study for greek, but i didn’t really get anywhere. thus when i got to class, everyone else read but me, and i felt bad, but what could I do? i’d gotten roughly 2-3hrs of sleep and i was completely nonfunctional. so motherfuck that. after i got out of school, i remembered that i had an appointment with Tyler at the Newman Center for my Mexico mission trip interview at 16.00, and so i went home and chilled for 2hrs.
at the interview, it was fairly chill, and we just talked for a bit, and so I’m going on the Mexico trip, which is right after graduation! hehe… anyways, i went home, and relaxed. then went over to jenn’s… we were going to hang out with christine, but i think she was too tired. we just watched the OC and then ended up going to my house. we were going to watch a movie, but ended up watching The Wonder Years on DVD instead, and just snuggled. it was nice. she went home then, and i think i stayed up real late and watched a kungfu movie with anna.
saturday, 12 mar: woke up at a very reasonable time of 2pm! yay
then i went to jenn’s a bit later, and we ended up going to kim’s house and chilled with her and christine and her husband eric. we didnt do too much though, just played a board game. wow, i am so not feeling verbose about this. maybe its cos im tired, i dont know. i cant remember it too vividly. jenn and me went to get food, and then came back. all they did was watch tv and shit, which was kinda boring, but oh well. i took jenn home around 23.30, and she was in bed by 00.00. went home myself, and watched another kungfu flick with anna. stayed up real late talking to people, then went to sleep.sunday, 13 mar (today/yesterday): woke up today around 13.30 or so? set my alarm for 11.30 and sorta woke up then, but laid in bed. i didn’t get a single bit of homework done today, sadly. me, anna, and claude went to wendy’s to get food at around 15.00, and then i fucked around until almost 19.00, when i went to church. i was hoping my friend andrea would be there, since i was going to hook her up with the new chris rock cd, but nope! oh well. so church was interesting… talked to this girl danielle i know, she is a real sweetie
chilled there for a bit, then me and claude came back to the house cos he wanted to watch scarface — he’d never seen it. so we watched it, and got done around midnight, and so he went home. then me and anna watched yet another kungfu flick! now here we are at present time. has all my memory leaked out like so much cerebral fluid? i hope not. now we come to the close of the entry:
i’d like to appeal to a lot of you out there. i, for one, hate it when i (or anyone else, for that matter) gets judged by people based on shitty information or unreliable sources — basically, im talking about prejudice, for fuck’s sake. im not talking racial prejudice, im not talking like that shite, which is horrible in itself, but judging someone before you know everything about them, without giving them a chance. that is almost as bad. now i try not to do that to other people, and i expect the same in return, for fuck’s sake. ive probably said it before, but a lot of people i’ve met and known (of) in my life have likely passed me by because they haven’t gotten to know me, or they’ve heard something from someone about me, and written me off with a big, silent (or sometimes vocal) “FUCK YOU.” i hate that shit. i really do. it’s the most cowardly, ignorant, thoughtless thing someone can do. well, maybe not the most, but it’s certainly up there. just like Chris Rock says — “Pretty much anyone who makes up their mind without seeing both sides of the issue is a fucking fool.” and that’s very true. it’s the same with people. he was referring to politics, but it is definitely the same with people.
we all have multiple sides, multiple layers. these layers act in conjunction with one another, and sometimes they don’t. all i know is that if you don’t know someone fully, don’t fucking judge them. don’t judge someone period if you can help it, but if you have to, make sure you got your fucking shit straight. don’t go off of hearsay, some cocksucker spreading rumours, whatever — that is fucked up. theres a lot of deleterious motherfuckers out there, and they want nothing more than to fuck up your reputation. so think twice before you listen to some shit that’s said about another person and you think about writing them off, erasing them. i know it’s happened to me too often, and it pisses me off to no end. i shouldnt let it get to me, but its like, you think someone is beginning to be your friend and then it just kinda crumbles and goes to hell. its unintelligible sometimes.
anyways, enough vitriol. i love all of you — you know who you are. thank you for being true friends (or on the way to being true friends, or just being cool) and putting up with my shit.
in no particular order (for the most part):
jenn – thank you for being you and loving me so much, even when i fuck copious amounts of things up a copious number of times… lol… but hey, youre not perfect either
kirs – i love you, always will… you sexy canadian!
bekah – i love you forever! dont ever leave sweetie…
blythe – i must say i love you too, even though ive only known you for a lil while now. perhaps ill voice it soon enough… i know you just said it, and it made me smile. you are an incredible friend, and i dont ever want to lose you!!
allison – you are fucking amazing. im gonna be best friends with you forever, and i love you very much.
annalicious (annalytic?) – i love you… youre the original fynest azn mami, and always will be a goddess to me. were you here i’d probably never let you go, unless of course jenn made me
jaymie – you are awesome and cooler than you realise. im very glad ive been gettin to know you these days and i hope we can become even better friends than we are as time goes on. youre wonderful!
brittany – ive known you only for a short time too, but youre an awesome person and i see how much light shines within you. keep it up and let your soul shine, love!
christine (kisstine!) – i hope you know how much i appreciate you. you’re jenn’s best friend, and i would have to say one of mine too. i love you to death, and i will always be your friend. always.
claude – you are a crazy motherfucker, but youre probably my best friend (guy friend at least LOL). youre a fucking pimp man, and you will get your girl one of these days if it kills you. stay cool motherfucker.
ash – my sweet p-town ash! i love you, i love you, i love you! im sorry we dont get to talk as much these days, but im trying
i guess we’ve both been busy though. i hope you know i appreciate you a whole bunch and i am really glad you are my friend.leora – we used to be mad tight and now i dont see you around as much. i hope youre doing well and you know i will always be your friend sweetie…
vanessa – yous a cool fuckin girl! i dont talk to you much, but you rool when i have talked to you!
laci – i miss you! we need to chill or talk or somethin soon, sweetie…
chris (rough!) – fuck yeah bro. you rool muthafucka, nuff said. you know how cool you are, bitch.
sara – i know we dont talk as much these days, and im sorry. i miss you and i apologise if theres been any rifts caused… i hope youre doing well. i love you.
sara (UO, Classics Sara) – youre fucking cool, and im glad we’ve been talkin these days. we need to chill too sometime!
melissa – we need to talk more! youre an awesome friend and i wish we could hang out and all… but i know how it is. we will eventually i hope.
april – sexy, gorgeous Aphrodite!
i hope you know that i think about you a lot and im sorry we dont get much of a chance to talk or hang out, but youre busy with wRk and kids and i’m busy with skool. anyways, i love you, and i hope you know that.stina – you are fucking awesome! you are one of the smartest girls i have ever met, seriously… and i love talkin to you. perhaps one of these days we’ll get to meet
and i do need to call you on the phone!wow, i just realised i have a shitload of girl friends…. nuts. well, i do have guy friends, but the only one im really tight with is claude, the rest are mainly acquaintances *shrugs*. anyways, that’s enough ass-kissing
im serious when i say all that stuff though. half of you cats will never read this, but it doesn’t matter. im writing it down. in any case, i’m on for a lil while longer then sleeping. i love you all… now you know who ‘you’ are! sleep tight everyone.
PS: poem tomorrow, perhaps? maybe tuesday. we’ll see how inspired i am.
1 Comment
Your posts are soooooo long…I’m jealous :p
Thank you for the mention though, it made me feel speeeeeecial
Posted 3/15/2005 at 7:21 PM by Faerie_Asrai
Ξ Sunday, 06 Mar 2005 at 04:29 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
Wow, it’s been a fucking surreal week. SURREAL. Let’s recap, sports fans. Oops. Sports fans? Figure of speech, motherfucker. No, but seriously, folks, I’ll tell you all about what’s happened this week. It’s definitely been a fucking long one, as my weeks are wont to be these days. Fuck. so yeah, how are you all? i hope good. i’ve met interesting people this week, tried to stay in touch with old friends and friends in general, and also been terrified out of my mind. I hope you guys aren’t sick of this style… I regret the fact that I haven’t had the time to update every day, so, as the ancient historians did so long ago, I will attempt to present the events that occurred as well as my memory serves me. Cf. Thucydides, when he says:
“With reference to the speeches in this history, some were delivered before the war began, others while it was going on; some I heard myself, others I got from various quarters; it was in all cases difficult to carry them word for word in one’s memory, so my habit has been to make the speakers say what was in my opinion demanded of them by the various occasions, of course adhering as closely as possible to the general sense of what they really said. And with reference to the narrative of events, far from permitting myself to derive it from the first source that came to hand, I did not even trust my own impressions, but it rests partly on what I saw myself, partly on what others saw for me, the accuracy of the report being always tried by the most severe and detailed tests possible. My conclusions have cost me some labour from the want of coincidence between accounts of the same occurrences by different eye-witnesses, arising sometimes from imperfect memory, sometimes from undue partiality for one side or the other.” (Thuc., History of the Peloponnesian War, 1.22.1-3)
I don’t claim to be a historian, but simply an author of my own memoirs, hence writing an autobiography on here. Like Thucydides, though, I forget some things, etc. as one would expect, but I try, and that’s what counts right?
Now, on to the meaty part of the discussion.
wednesday, 2nd march: Today, I got up (on time!), got some food in the morning… they have some ill motherfuckin’ filled croissants at Grateful Bread in the EMU, and so I got one of those. A bit expensive, but wholly worth it. Went to my art history class, and then proceeded to study for Greek. unfortunately the Knight Library has a lethargic draw to it, a hypnotic effect that causes me to drift into the realm of sleep, or at least deadly close to it. Didn’t get much done, needless to say. should have been worried about my paper for Gender&Sexuality, but I requested an extension until Tuesday, so I rested easy. What I did worry about was my oral report on the Sicilian expedition by the Athenians, which I was due to give on Friday in Greek. I had 5 books to cite, and was fairly worried about whether I could pull it off or not, but vid. inf. for the full story on that.
Got home, and I was tired as fucking hell. decided to take a nap, and thus i crashed around 5pm, drifting into sweet, sweet sleep kai ta enochlemata emauta elueto (and my worries were dissolved). however, when i woke up, the clock read around 20.30, and this scared the shit out of me. mass was at 21.00, and i wanted to go, but i felt as if i were in the invisible bonds of sleep, shackled in my bed, and claude even called me to see if i was going to mass. i said yes, hung up, and promptly fell back asleep. the next time i woke up, the clock said 22.30. yeah. hence all hope of sleep was gone, and so i decided to stay up late. no hope of getting my latin done. had a ‘bs hour’ with claude for a bit, and talked to blythe and others online, and then i crashed around 3 or 4am.
thursday, 3rd march: the cataclysm reared its ugly head. woke up around 8am, but fell back asleep until almost 10. i tried to read through my latin, and i started feeling slightly ill and under the weather. i don’t know if it was because of the fact that i didn’t have my latin done *sighs* or because of something else. in any case, i decided to swear off class for the day, and jenn came over to put me back together. we went out to a nice lunch at chapala’s, which i overdid, and wasn’t able to finish one of my tacos. sad. in any case, i went home afterwards.
planned on starting my work right away. however, there are too many distractions. the internet is one of them. music is another. my twisted head gets muddled with all these things, and i have too much I/O usually. it’s not too much to the point of autism or some shit, but my head processes shit mad fast and i guess i think at the speed of light. go figure. i fucked around for hours, did nothing, and then started studying a bit at 19.30. then the OC came on at 8, but there were two reruns in a row, which was lame, yet i watched a bit and then said fuck it all. i must have watched tv until like 10pm anyways though, and then i wanted to sleep, but i still had a long night ahead of me. jenn called me and asked me how things were coming, and i told her they were ok, i was working on it. she knows when i say ‘i’m working on it’ it means i haven’t really done shit, but i’m trying to get around to it. knows me too fucking well. claude called a bit later, and as a doomed man should, i procrastinated more, and we talked a bunch of stupid bullshit on the fone per the usual. after that, however, i realised it was time to get serious, and i think i started studying at about midnight (?). can’t remember.
friday, 4th march (early AM): working on my project. reading through 5 books, trying to come up with quotes describing how Alkibiades fucked up the Sicilian expedition, or possibly could have lifted the Athenians out of the apocalyptic hell they thrust themselves into. well, i worked long through the night, and i believe i crashed around 5 or 6am. that’s usually when i crash when i pull an all-nighter, and oh well. woke up around 09.30, which meant i missed art history. bleh. i hate missing that class, i feel really bad about it. so i kept working, and i worried i’d not finish it in time. however, i am the fucking man.
afternoon et al: and me, being the fucking man (i’m being facetious, i’m not really ‘the man’), i finished my report. at least preparing it and writing it up…. by 12.40. Due at 13.00. my mum took me to skool, because i didn’t have a chance in hell of getting a parking place. my sister didn’t even get ready until then, so she was putting her motherfucking makeup on and i had 10mins to get to class. seriously, her, or maybe females in general, need to get their fucking priorities straight. lol… well…. maybe just my sister. i think most girls have their fucking heads on straight, but my sis… christ, she must not have given a fuck whether she was late or not, cos she had class at 13.00 as well. yes, i know, part of it is my fault because i didn’t finish the shit earlier and drive myself, but disregard that for the moment.
so i get to class, and we had a bit of preliminary banter before the real deal started. so i presented my topic and my speech, and i had 5 pages of notes. i read through it, trying not to read directly from the paper the whole time, and trying to make everything as clear as possible. well, i went on for almost 20 minutes (the speech had to be ~15mins), and i think i did a pretty fucking good job! my teacher seemed to be pleased, and so i was happy, and sat back, basking in my triumph. i think my friends dug it too, because i asked them and they said it was really good, so i’m glad for that. i got out of PLC and back to the shores of light (ad luminis oras, a Lucretian metaphor for the mortal realm and earth), and my mum was waiting for me in the car. got in the car, we picked up my dad, they took me home, and then i got my car.
went over to shopko to get my check, and i lamented the fact that i’m working next week. i need to talk to them to get out of it, seriously, because i can’t fucking work the weekend before finals. i just motherfucking can’t. it’s ridiculoid. anyways, got my check, cashed it, then i went to burger king to get some food. after that i went to jenn’s, and we were gonna sit down and watch a movie. so we sit down to watch Garden State, and we’re about 10mins into it when jenn’s parents call her downstairs.
now here’s my problem: apparently jenn’s parents are ‘uncomfortable’ when me and her are up there in her room. uncomfortable. all parents are motherfucking uncomfortable when their kid and significant other are alone in a room. so fucking what? christ. so they say they don’t want me in her room, nor on the stairs. ON THE FUCKING STAIRS?!?!?!? what the fuck is that? so by now i’m insanely confused, and jenn’s insanely pissed at her parents. we sat downstairs for a bit, talked with christine, and decided to leave. jenn blew by her parents and told them “i’ll be home really late,” and they said “wait a sec, we want to talk to you. david, go wait in the car.” i was like thinking, “excuse me? wait in the fucking car?” but i shrugged it off and did so.
jenn got out to the car, and she was visibly pissed, and told me the details, about not being in her room nor on the stairs. retarded shit. anyways, we went to burger king again, cos she wanted food, and she gave me her fries. confused, cos burger king has some ill-ass fries. oh well. after that, we went up to hendricks’ park for a little late-night walk. well, it wasn’t late-night, it was only like 8pm. oh well. i tried to call my grandparents, cos i wanted to see if they were home — if they were, we coulda gone and seen them, but they weren’t, so we said fuck it, let’s go to the park. parked the car and we walked off into the inky darkness, and towards a pair of old swings, set upon a bar which was wedged between two huge trees. this swing set has been there for years, as long as i can remember, perhaps all of my life. we sat on the swings and swung, something i haven’t done for a long time. the last time i did, i think it was with her. i looked back into the darkness and all around, and the trees covered everything, silent sentinels, menacing and at the same time benevolent and protective. we got off of the swings, and jenn wanted to walk down the path a bit. we walked down a path leading to what used to be a petting zoo, which had animals and such, and there are still cages there. my mum said that she went to see the animals a few times when she was a kid, but they abandoned the project when she was still a kid, cos apparently someone tried to kill the animals or something. we walked down the trail a lil bit, but then we came to a strange, dark thing sitting on the gravel of the path. i think it was a pile of shit or something, but for some reason jenn said ‘let’s turn back, i can’t see.’ i was laughing a bit, and said ‘you know, it’s probably a pile of dogshit or something.’ she said ‘i know, but i can’t see…’ lol… so that was kinda funny. we walked back to the car, and decided to go to my house.
we got to my house and watched Garden State in my room. it was one of the best movies i’ve seen in a long fucking time. i need to buy it. it was like $23 at work though, jesus christ… oh well. after that, we just chilled and talked. she said “we haven’t done this for a long time,” and i guess we really hadn’t. it was nice…. i took her home around 22.30, and we went and got some ice cream at prince pucklers. i think i saw this cat adam i knew in middle and high school there, but i dont know if it was him or not, and even so, he wouldnt have remembered me. so i took her home, said goodnight on the phone, rocked out to some phat tunes on my ipod on the way home, and then got home.
saturday, 05 march (early AM): i got home and watched hellraiser 2. anna watched part of it with me, but she’s too squeamish. what a goofball. so i watched the rest myself, and then i came back in here on the computer. blythe was on, and i talked to her for a bit, and then i called her on the phone. lol, she is such a cutie. she said she was stoned, which, me being ‘straightedge’ and all and worrying about that sort of thing, worried me, but she seemed really happy. shes got such a bubbly sweet voice, and was really fun to talk to. she got me really jealous because she said she was eating crispix, and i wanted some! i was jealous, but it was ok. i wanted to go over and see her, but she seemed tired and out of it, and she said “ill talk to you soon ok? goodnight darling!” heheh… what a sweetheart! got off the phone with her, then claude wanted to have a bs hour, so we talked it up for a bit. i ended up going to sleep at around 3 or 4am.
afternoon et al: i woke up (finally) around 14.40. wRk at 15.45. showered, got ready, got some peanut butter toast and ate it on the way to wRk. got to wRk and apparently we have a new girl working there, her name’s kim. she is pretty cool. it was a mad busy day though, and i tried to keep on top of things. apparently some assclown came in and was harassing employees, like talking shit to my friend Katryna and a couple others, mainly girls… some homeless cat, ya know. security threatened to kick him out for good if he came in pulling that shit again. otherwise, it was uneventful, and we got out of there an hour late at 23.00.
left wRk, got some munchies at safeway (apple juice and wheat thins, bitch!), then called jenn. while driving and talking to her, i had a strange urge for taco bell, so i changed course and drove over there. got some tacos, talked to jenn the rest of the way home, and then went inside. well…. i went downstairs and popped in the first of 50 kungfu flicks! watched that shit with anna, and it was fucking good!! hysterical in most parts… i love kungfu. after that, anna went to sleep, and i watched 2 episodes of the wonder years.
sunday, 06 mar (early AM): that’s me. you can see me, sitting here at my computer. i just got done talking to my ex-flame Jenny. she’s interesting. so yes, here i am at almost 5am. i should sleep soon. alliteration? nah.
my sis or parents got a shitload of fortune cookies a bit ago, and i opened one, and the fortune read such:
a free soul never grows old.
wise words, surprisingly, from a fortune cookie! i stuck it in between the aperture of the lens and the body of my circular quickcam in front of me, sitting on my stereo. blahaha… i dunno, i liked the sound of it. but yes, i must sleep now i think. catch you all later! sleep tight everyone, i love you all…. i hope you all had a wonderful weekend thus far. dream of me (girls only), and well, sleep well and drift off into that sweet land of terrifying dreams, ethereal love, and starry skies. zzzZZz….
2 Comments
sports fans? LOL.. shit i just skipped over the rest to comment on that
Posted 3/6/2005 at 9:52 PM by roughdraft1
dope entry man. love the latin shit you throw in
Posted 3/13/2005 at 12:26 AM by roughdraft1
Ξ Wednesday, 02 Mar 2005 at 01:37 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
Well, I’m trying to write so I don’t end up writing once a week again. hehe…. today was eventful. woke up late, got to skool on time at 12. out of it. after getting done with school, I heard that a local legend was hit and killed by a car while riding her bike. Yes, you probably all have heard. Her name was “Hatoon” (I don’t know if that was her real name, but that’s what everyone called her), and she lived outside the UO Bookstore on some benches out there. Apparently she was crossing the intersection against the light (kata the local news), and got hit. I remember her coming in the bookstore a couple times when I worked there, and she talked about some crazy shit and was pretty interesting. She had a little space on the hold shelf too for some books that she said had ‘magical powers,’ and if those books were moved, there would be catastrophic consequences. She also talked about Bill Clinton pulling everyone’s strings and watching her from the skies, and lasers attacking her from all sides, among other things. What a motherfucking character. I think we’re all going to miss her, in a way… It’s like if “Frog” died — it’s the death of a local legend, an anti-hero, a fucking institution. So requiescat in pace, and it looks as if there is already an epitaph up where she used to dwell outside the Bookstore. That’s my eulogy right there.
Death, among other things, was on the roster today, as you can see.
“I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had….“
– Michael Andrews (vocals Gary Jules), “Mad World” (Donnie Darko OST, and the cover of Tears for Fears’ “Mad World” from the 80s)
Brilliant. I wholeheartedly agree with those lyrics. Those three lines have been haunting me ever since I heard this song, which plays at the very end of Donnie Darko. Everyone, please fucking see that movie…. My friends know I’ve been trippin over this movie all week, but hey, it’s a fucking good movie. It resonated like hell with me, as I said in my last entry, so I dunno, I’m just crazy. It’s been such a wondrously and delightfully insane week or so. I played the song for my mum, who liked it too, surprisingly… she loved it. Even wanted a copy. I had a convo with my mum tonight too, one of the first I’ve had in a long time, and that was nice. Somehow we started talking about alcohol, and what my plans are for my 21st birthday. It was pretty strange. But yeah, we just shot the shit for about an hour or so, and it was midnight when I got done talking to her. As I write this, the clock is about to strike 1am.
I had something quite interesting happen to me today. I went out with Anna (my sis) to go get some food, and I had to stop at the bank on the way there. So I put my ATM card in, right? Asked for $20. The fucker goes “Processing, please wait….”…. for 5 minutes. I’m starting to get scared that it ate my card, and some guy comes up, and I told him “Shit, man, I think it ate my fucking card.” So I waited for a bit, and then I said fuck it, and decided to leave. Well, some girl pulled up and was going up to the ATM right as I got into my car, and I thought, hey, why not, I’ll see if it works for her. She comes up to my car and I rolled down the window, and she asked “Were you just at the ATM?” I said yeah…. and she handed over $20 and my card. I was like HOLY SHIT!!! I asked her how it worked, and she said she put her card in and it spit my card and $20 out at her. Fucking Christ, it was ridiculous. I thanked her like hell, and I was fucking elated. I could have fucking kissed this girl I was so happy…. what an angel! If you somehow read this…. thank you again!!! hehe. so yay! then me and anna went and got some food and went back, watched some Wonder Years on DVD, and then I got on here and chilled.
Talked to Blythe a bit tonight…. apparently she’s recovering from some minor surgery up in Portland. I hope she feels better soon. Jaymie seemed in good spirits too — both of them are getting new computers, I guess, so I hear. Claude was insane as always. Not much else going on tonight…. I haven’t really heard from Jenn except a lil bit, and I guess she’s had a good day. Well, she just called actually, and we talked for a bit. Anyways, I’m signing off for now. Love you all. this post has been brought to you by the letter “F.” First letter in FUCK, and also first letter in FIRST. go figure. peace.
Oh, and P.S., for fuck’s sake: 
