sometimes i feel so sublime…

Ξ Monday, 28 Mar 2005 at 21:20 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |

    strangely enough, i looked at stina’s blog just now and thought “hey, i should do this too!” but wait, i don’t like large parties. oh well, i tried. check the results:

                     Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..

                     Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

                     Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

                trait snapshot:
                social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others

1 Comment

Hey I have been trying to call you lately.   When you get a chance sometime call me and leave a message on my cell phone saying when I can  call you and get ahold of you.  That would be nice.   I woudl like to tell you when I am moving and where I am moving too.  I will talk to you later.

Posted 3/29/2005 at 9:30 AM by ryznstar2000

 

Ξ Monday, 28 Mar 2005 at 12:31 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |

    well, it was an interesting weekend. i had to work saturday night from 16.00-22.15, but that didn’t stop me from staying up insanely late friday night. it’s misting right now, raining softly. for the first time in a long time, i’m sitting inside mckenzie (formerly grayson) hall and writing away on an X terminal. instead of shitty Mozilla, though, I’m using Firefox, which should be more stable, I hope. Mozilla would freeze on me a lot of the time… I hope the same isn’t true for Firefox on X Windows. in any case, it’s strangely good to be back in a way. tired, and wishing i had more time to fuck around, but feeling good nonetheless. greek at 13.00, and after that nada, so i’m going home to work on another couple grad school apps. the rain’s coming down a bit harder, and now i can see some wind blowing through the trees. the rectangular plot of grass, extending the length of this row of windows, is verily inundated and engorged with water. i guess it truly is the start of spring.
    i found myself wondering about when i will eventually publish these entries (in book form, that is). who would want to read them? would anyone glean any further knowledge from them? would they see them as didactic, as somewhat informative and enlightening… or just a small cross-section of one soul’s life? griefs, triumphs, everything in between? it’s almost like a time capsule. in fact, that is exactly what it is, a repository for feelings, thoughts, emotions, words… one’s soul… the very essence of life itself. i wondered too about how it will be received, if i should be a relatively successful professor. will these words of youth discredit me, or will concessions be made for youthful caprice? i don’t know, and really, it is something that I want to do no matter what. perhaps i reflect too much upon this, and it is something i shouldn’t really worry about too much. just gotta take things one day at a time, i guess.
   but i digress. the wonderful poet Ovid digresses a lot too, however, so I guess I’m in good company. in any case, I was talking about Saturday, which seems like a lifetime ago, really. so, i woke up fairly late (11 or 12?) and then fucked around a bit before I had to go to work. luckily, last week I’d (after 9 months) gotten a shirt. by a cruel twist of Fate, somehow, only womens’ shirts were ordered, but I decided not to press the issue, since it might take another 9 months, and so I took a womens’ 2XL buttonup shirt, short-sleeve even. it works nicely, surprisingly enough, but all the buttons are backwards, which pisses me off. fuck it though, it’s better than the white bullshit i wore for the last 9 months. well, i worked with Kim again, and it was alright. same old same old, you know. i ended up getting stuck at the registers a lot of the time, which sucked ass, and barely got any time to relax. i guess work is not for relaxing though, bleh, by definition.
    around 5 or 6 or so, about the time of my first break, jenn and christine came to see me. christine came up behind a customer i was helping, and i looked at her and recognised her and said ‘nice hair!’ she’s got reddish-brown hair, she dyed it, and she looks like “MJ” (Kirsten Dunst) in Spider-Man. same shade, at least. it looks fucking sexy, if you ask me. i told jenn she should dye her hair the same way, cos it’s fucking hot. i dunno why, but christine looked really hot like that (she always does, cos shes a cutie, but she looked really gorgeous with that hair). in an astounding loss of wits, i proceeded to the electronics dept. and bought three items:
    – the notebook dvd (for jenn… brownie points, and i know she loves that movie)
    – the oc season 1 (guilty pleasure, i know)
    – metroid prime 2: echoes (fucking a… i’ve been waiting for this for awhile)
    oh well. $100 down the drain or so, but it was worth it. i wanted to get some lunch later, but the deli was closed at safeway, and so i just got some chips and apple juice (dinner of champions!). after that, i worked more, and eventually we got out of there around 22.45, which is about on par really, lol. jenn wanted me to come bowling with her and her friends afterwards, so i went to taco bell and got some real lunch. after that i went over to bowl with them at firs bowl. apparently it was a decent-sized gathering: jenn, christine, jenn’s friends kim and eric (they’re newlyweds), eric’s friend jon and his girlfriend terra (?), and this guy james who was a friend of theirs. christine’s boyfriend dan was coming later, apparently. so i got some shoes and started bowling. i was kicking some fucking ass too, i got a bunch of strikes and shite, spares too. it was a lot of fun.
    we guessed that dan would arrive at 23.59, since the place closed at 00.00. dan is a weird guy… i don’t know a lot about him and christine’s relationship, but i think things are a bit rocky for them sometimes. in any case, he came at around 23.40 or so. we finished bowling right when they closed, at midnight or so. afterwards, me and jenn headed over to her house. when we got there, her dad was awake and up and watching the country music channel (BLEH!). i sat there, mesmerised by the ridiculousness of the channel, while jenn was upstairs changing, and as usual, had nothing really to say to her dad. he kinda frightens me in a way, but i guess one’s girlfriend’s dad is supposed to frighten them. it’s like a rule or something. finally she came back, and we just sat there for a bit. eventually her dad went to sleep, and we decided to watch an episode of CSI she had on her tivo.
    we were waiting for christine to come back home, since she was going to dan’s to spend the night, but jenn had left those three glorious items in her car, and i wanted two of them. christine came back while we were watching the show, and thankfully gave us the stuff, and after we watched the episode I said goodnight and went home. on the way home i stopped at arco, and got some corn nuts and some soda for the hell of it. if i remember correctly, too, i listened to michelle branch on the way home. wow, i am getting soft, bahaha… i dont know. after i got home, i think i got on the computer for awhile and then i might have watched some pete and pete (i’ve been watching those lately). i know i played some metroid prime2, which is such a fucking awesome game! i didn’t go to sleep until around 6am, and then drifted into a troubled sleep, which is somewhat the way i like it. i had some crazy dreams, i think i dreamt about this girl at church… but not sure. it’s all a blur really.
    sunday arrived, easter sunday. i woke up around 12.45, and i was planning on going over to jenns to see her a bit before we went to my grandma’s for easter. i called my grandma, and found that the festivities were starting around 14.00 rather than the 16 or 17.00 i’d expected, and so i made it a point to haul ass over to jenn’s. now can anyone tell me if there’s a taboo about sex on easter? well i sure hope not, because that’s what happened. bahaha… i couldn’t resist. i took a shower over at jenn’s too, and then we got ready to go, and left. jenn made these cheesy potatoes and we took them with us. got to my grandma’s around 14.30, and all the food was ready to eat!
    i tried some of jenn’s potatoes but they were kinda crunchy and weird, but at least i tried them. my grandma made this bomb-ass sliced ham… it was fucking good! she made some biscuits too, they were fuckin illy… you can always, always count on grandmas to make some of the illest shit. after we had lunch/dinner, and then my mum brought out some easter cookies she bought (drenched, inundated, covered with frosting) and little plates of robins’ eggs (malt balls, not actual eggs, lmfao, you know the shit). so we sat there talking a bunch, and my parents had brought our terrier-poodle Joey over, so we played with him a lot, and anna and my mum were goin after easter eggs and hiding them. my grandma got me a teddy bear as an easter present, to add to my big collection of them. yeah, i have a collection of them… my parents and etc. have been giving them to me since i was a kid, but i haven’t gotten one for awhile. i’ve got these Steiff bears, which are apparently really expensive. one day perhaps i’ll sell them, i don’t know. jenn and me went back to her house after awhile when everyone left, and i stayed at her place for awhile, watching a bit of tv, and then i left a bit after her parents got there.
    more michelle branch on the way home. lmfao. i’m so insane, such eclectic taste in music. drove home, and by this time it was around 19.00 or so. i think i came home and booted my sis off the video games, and then played metroid prime2 for awhile. later on i asked anna (my sis) if she wanted to go to the store and get anything. we went to the store and got some shite, and then watched some pete and pete. god, that show is so fucking hysterical…. after we watched a few episodes, it was almost midnight, and she played some legend of legaia for awhile. at around 1am, i played some more metroid prime2, and i didn’t stop playing until almost 3am. went to sleep, and thus, the end of spring break was at hand.

---

    alright now. so it’s monday morning, well, afternoon now. my first class was at 10am, my Greek and Roman Tragedy class, and i started off in the wrong room, bahaha. that never ever happens to me, but well, it did this time. I sat down in 303 Gerlinger, and waited for class to start. i scoped out the room, looking around a bit, and I saw the most gorgeous girl ever, a sorta fat chick in pink…. wow! hehe… i was like yeah, this is gonna be a fucking GOOD term! then I spotted a familiar face in the crowd, my friend Ben from Greek 301, and he came over to sit next to me. he asked me what i was doing in 19th Century Philosophy, though, and I said “what? i’m in the wrong room?” he said yeah, you want to be in 301. went nextdoor, and sure enough, there was my prof John, and so I sat down in there, feeling bewildered and a bit embarrassed. oh well. my friend Evin is in there, though, who I work at Shopko with, and so that is cool. He’s taking history 414 as well, which I took 2 years ago, and I told him it was a good class.
    on the way over to Grayson, I walked with him a bit, and then met up with Logan from my Latin class, and he’s in 414 as well, so the two of them walked off to class and I went to go get a bagel. well, i got the best bagel ever, covered with toasted onions, and then i went over to the UO Bookstore to get some soda, and met up with my friend Brian there and talked to him for a bit. after that, i came here, and here I am. My friend Zack from church has a class right near here, and I talked to him for a bit before he went to class as well. that’s all that’s happened though, from Saturday to today.
    i must say one thing though…. i really, really, really miss Blythe. it’s crazy…. i mean i saw her a bunch earlier this week, but i haven’t really talked to her for a few days and I really miss her i actually was logged on thru VNC on here to my computer, and I saw her pop online for a second, but by the time I got back to VNC, she was gone… i will have to email her i guess and say hi, or facebook msg her. i dunno, i just really miss her… i hope we get to talk fairly often, but i know she will be busy with plays and all over there, and having fun, so i understand. i’m sure she will make time for me and all though.
    speaking of that, i myself have been guilty of not making enough time for everyone. i really try to, and i hope i try hard enough. i realise i dont get a chance to talk to every one of my friends regularly, and i’m sorry for that. things get crazy, and life just gets crazy. i’m not really a busy person, like i’m not doing something every minute of the day, so i don’t understand it sometimes. i really need to work on it, and i apologise if anyone has felt left out or ignored or anything, because that is not my intent at all, and i’m sorry. i really am. i love you all and i hope you know that, even if i’m not always around… i really try to be. you know me though…. “i cant do this alone.” but i do need that reasonable degree of solitude, and perhaps sometimes i take too much of that solitude, i don’t know. anyways, much love to everyone, and i’m sure i’ll talk to some of you soon. have a wonderful rest of the day, and i may write later tonight. i’m somewhat poetically inspired today, so we’ll see what happens. peace.