Ξ Friday, 24 Dec 2004 at 03:35 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
oh, and for the record, i did think that that Latin I posted a couple days ago would be read. Perfectly fine, since I wanted it to be read. Most of the things I said in that were already said before, so I don’t know what of that I “didn’t have the balls to say.” heh. apparently i don’t read others’ weblogs either. bleh. so go fuck yourself. i’m through. as i said i’m relieved about the whole situation. i guess you could say a dysfunctional and deleterious part of my life has been surgically removed. *shrugs* i’m amused too. but you know, i’ve realised the whole thing is pointless to worry about. i tend to rehash things a lot sometimes, and dwell on them more than usual, and this is something i don’t need to dwell on. by the way, that card came. i’ve not decided whether i’ll destroy it or not. hope this is being read as well. postmarked 18 december. heh. in any case…
life is strange. i dont think you should walk the straight and narrow, rectus et artus. fuck that. life is a real grey area, and while i try to be virtuous, in a lot of ways i’m not. i talked about our tendency to binarise everything… to split everything into polar opposites. while i’m clad in darkness, i’m clad in light as well. they coalesce to form a grey sheen over everything, for in this world not many things are cut and dry, black and white, whatever… i dunno, i guess im all philosophising again. i love the implicit, unquestionable duality in everyone. not saying we’re two faced januses or anything, just that we’re all a mixture of dark and light, good and evil, whatever floats your boat, and the ratio between the two and its balance ultimately determine the type of person you’ll be or become. me, you all know i’m darker than most, and i love being as such. anyways, enough of this. much love to you all…. im goin zzZZZzz.
oh btw, check out this hysterical pic.
Ξ Friday, 24 Dec 2004 at 03:05 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
i didn’t tell everyone about last night yet. it’s now friday A.M. xmas eve. i’ve got to work 12-18.00 today. i just got off of work around 45min ago (it’s now almost 3am). was supposed to leave at midnight. didnt get done with the frontend (i.e. safe, etc.) until around 00.30. i’m fucking burnt out. wish i could sleep, but im not tired. they had free soda at work today, and free food and such even, so i definitely took advantage of free dr. pepper. yeah. had at least 2 cans of it, plus some sierra mist. god im sleepy. i will have to write more later. just tired as motherfucking hell tonight. i miss all of you, especially the girls 
you know who you are! anyways.. i’m going to sleep. im sorry i havent written much lately, i really feel bad about it, but it can’t be helped. hopefully ill get a few winks of sleep tonight. much love to everyone! night!
Ξ Wednesday, 22 Dec 2004 at 03:13 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
well, i forgot to comment on claude’s “date” yesterday. apparently it went well, and they tentatively had a date for wed night (tonight, rather, since its early AM wed), but that’s up in the air still. i dont know exactly what happened with things. im exhausted. wRk at 06.45, didn’t get out of there until almost 16.30. tired. it was a fairly good day at work, but i felt bad cos i had to call joe in on his day off *shrugs*. oh well. tomorrow i have off, since i have a dentist appointment at 11.30, and also need to do shopping still. shite.
anyways, about tonight! after i got off of work, i went to jenn’s to go see her for a bit, and also to get some gas while i was on that side of town. $1.69 for regular gas… not bad these days. arco is cheap as hell. i spent some time with jenn, was nice to see her… apparently i didnt tell her that i was gonna hang out with sara tonight, but i was pretty sure i did… *shrugs* it’s alright though. she was chill with it. so i left jenn’s and got some gas, as i said, then went home to change clothes. i wore my gory days shirt cos i figured i’d might as well scare sara a bit more hehe… i met up with her at gateway in the food court, and we went over to decide on a $1.50 movie. we ultimately decided on “the forgotten,” which i’d wanted to see but didn’t before. bought tix.
got some dinner. i had some sbarro pizza and she got some subway. they gave me some bullshit mini-CD on the fucking lid of my soda. that’s ridiculously strange. and it was avril lavigne too, who i think is a moron these days… i used to listen to her when i had her first album, but i got really sick of it. she’s not saying anything new really. never was. so we ate and talked and such. sara is such a fucking ill girl… i keep sayin that i guess but its true, i love her to death already 
if youre readin this, word… i hope you know that i really appreciate you and care about you and love you… 
anyways… we ate, and then i was like fuck, let’s get some ice cream. bahaha.. i guess i didnt have much to eat today. so i got a mint chip waffle cone (can’t go wrong there), and we walked around the mall. we looked thru the dollar store too; that shit was hysterical, i love those oldskool, classic $1 Chinese toys. can’t help but love them.
we saw “the forgotten” at 19.20, and when we walked in and sat down, i saw my friend amanda from work across the aisle and she waved at me and said “David!” im like yo, whats up? she asked me if i found someone to cover today at work, and im like yea, called Joe in. she was all smirking and shit… shes a funny girl. anyways, me and sara sat down and prepared to watch the flick. it was pretty ill… on some crazy alien abduction shit and such, government conspiracies, all sorts of shit. crazy. i’d recommend checking it out. the guy in it, interestingly enough, reminded me of “Marvin Nash” in Reservoir Dogs — the cop in the movie — from that infamous scene with Mr. Blonde. (i’ll check on imdb). anyways….
afterwards, we checked out the flicks at cinemark 17, but we’d already seen a movie, so it was aight. we made pretty much a complete circuit of the mall, and even headed down to target after awhile. we just kinda looked around and fucked around and shit, didnt do too much. i bought a bottled water at target… good shit. i guess i felt too good for drinking fountains tonight, wahahaha. eventually the place looked like it was closing, so we ducked out into the softly misting rain. it was cold out there. i offered to drive sara to her car, and so we were off. we drove down row after row of cars trying to find hers, lol, and finally found it. i pulled up next to it, but we sat in the car and just talked, also trying to figure out what to do. it was really nice. then claude called, and i was like yo, talk to him! she thought he sounded hilarious, so she’s like dude, come and fucking see us, meet up with us! and thus it happened. claude came and met us there, and he appeared out of nowhere with his LSU gear on.. blehhh… i was crackin up cos he just popped up in the window. he sat in the backseat and we had ourselves a fuckin hilarious time. i think she liked claude and all, at least for the early part of the evening… hes funny eh?
after awhile, like midnight, we decided to go to claude’s house. i had sara follow me there, and we both beat claude there, lmfao… he got there about 5min later. we went in and played xbox and such… me and sara played halo 2 co-op. it was ill. she was diggin it too… i dont know many girls who dig shoot-’em-ups, so i thought that was really ill. she could even play pretty well. we stopped playin after awhile though. claude was being hilarious as usual, doing his crazy shit. anyways, jenn called and i talked to her a bit, but i had to go. eventually we decided to leave, but not before claude gifted me with the copy of “Dawn of the Dead Unrated” (remake) that he bought a month or so ago. when we got out to our cars, sara gave me a huge hug yay!!! im tellin you girl, you give some good motherfuckin hugs!! i was happy and content. i told her how to get back fairly easily, and so she headed for home, and so did i. called jenn on the way home and told her goodnight.
here i am now, writing all of this down. it’s 03.13. i need to fucking sleep… ive got a dentist appt at 11.30. i cant help thinking this shit bores you guys…. does it? *shrugs* i hope not. i guess lately ive just been doing a lot of shit, and hence chronicling what i’ve done. havent written a lot of abstractness lately, but i should and will soon i hope anyways, much love to all my fam and friends… you know who you are! peace and goodnight… zzZZZz…
3 Comments
You don’t want the kind of love I gave Keeney with my comments, LoL. $1.69 for gas what the hell is that? Here it’s around $1.90…grrrrrr Oh well, I don’t drive that much so it’s not that big of a deal to me…la la la….mmk that is all I’ll talk to you another time
Posted 12/22/2004 at 11:43 PM by Faerie_Asrai
I had so much fun last night. When I woke up this morning I told my mom the stuff that we did. For some reason she keeps telling me becareful when you hang out with the older guys. I was like mom dont worry. If I thought that something was wrong I would not be hanging out with David. You know what for that matter I would have not even went to Claude’s house. I still llove his fucking house. That is awesome. I had a fabolous time. I hope to do it again I hope that I get to meet more of your friends. I will let you on a little secret: I am different from most girls. I like to do stuff that they usually dont. I LOVE PLAYING MUD FOOTBALL WITH GUYS! Oohh I dont think I was suppose to tell you that I was goign to let you find that eventually. Oh well. I have something else to say but I am not going to say it. I probably wont remember tonight when we talk. But all I am going to say I had a fucking ILL time hanging out with you. I think that you are awesome. I feel like I can come and talk to you about anything. I am going to go and I will talk to you later. I love you lots.
Posted 12/22/2004 at 11:46 AM by ryznstar2000
wooooorrrddd!
Posted 12/22/2004 at 7:22 PM by roughdraft1
Ξ Tuesday, 21 Dec 2004 at 00:26 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
zzZZZZzzz…. tired as hell. wRk at 06.45. fuck. anyways, ill be sleeping. wRk until 16.15, then i’m prolly gonna chill with sara! much love everyone, and most importantly good night!
Ξ Monday, 20 Dec 2004 at 14:13 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
You know, it’s funny, since I wrote that shit last night out in Latin first. I didn’t even write English out and translate it later. I composed the Latin on-the-fly and translated it afterwards. I dunno, I guess I was feeling adventurous. All I used was a dictionary too… I figure I did pretty well. Anyways, I just woke up. had troubling dreams. apparently i was some international spy or something, and the police were after me. I walked out of this strip club or bar or something, and got into my car. It was around 2 in the morning, I could see, and as I was backing up my car, another car pulled in really fast, almost clipping me as I backed out and drove away. I sped off like hell, and started driving through town, and apparently it suddenly became daylight, and I almost mowed down a few senior citizens (un-PC term: old farts). then, for some reason, i ducked into this one place, looked like a mall or something, and in these darkened bedrooms inside there (open to the public, curiously), there were three naked girls sleeping. i found out later they were lesbians, but i thought perhaps they’d want to do something…. hheh… anyways, they were cool though, and i talked with them for awhile. they gave me a funny replica of the “One Ring” and then I left. I got in my car, I think, and drove like hell.
Somehow then I found myself on a ledge below this balcony where everyone was having a huge party. One of my friends had me come up with him, and I warily peeked over the edge of the balcony. This one policeman saw me, and he started running towards me, and I jumped back down and hid. He found me though, and asked me for my watch. I was like “WHAT THE FUCK?” He asked me if I’d had it appraised, and I said NO. It’s my fucking watch, yo… i mean its a Citizen Eco-Drive, light-powered shit and all… I’ve had it for like 4 years, since I graduated high school. Fucker is brilliant. Anyways, he started fucking with it and somehow pulled the crown all the way out, and was fucking near dismantling it. I was pissed. Then he put a gun to me, as far as I remember, and asked me what I knew. I was like man, I can’t tell you shit, cos I don’t know shit! If I neglected to mention it, I was basically in only my boxers on this balcony. Don’t ask me why. He told me to get some clothes, and go on the computer trying to find something to tell him. In one hour I was to come back to the ledge I was on, sans the gifted clothes, and if I didn’t, I was to be shot.
So I got on the computer, and curiously, my sister was there, and I can’t remember what I ended up doing in terms of research. Nothing, I think. All of a sudden these two women bust in the room with Tommy guns and started spraying them at me. They either had horrible aim or were fucking with me, because I didn’t get hit once. I think they were mainly trying to scare me. I was like “fuck, fuck, ok, im coming!” and then the policeman came in again. One of the women dropped her Tommy gun on the bed in the room, right next to my sister. My sister picked it up, and she looked as if she were going to mow all of these cats down…. but then I woke up.
I hate that shit. I hate waking up right in the middle of ill dreams. Oh well. I’m glad I remembered at least some of it. In any case, I need to get up and such… hungry and craving a strawberry Julius. That’s for later though when we go shopping. Just wish I had one right fucking now…. much love tho, ill catch you all later
1 Comment
hello how are you doing? I am doing pretty good. The dream sounds interesting. Hmm.. I wish that I could have some interesting dreams. The only times I think that I have interesting dreams is when I have done something exciting…. Kinda weird to explain and I cant be that tired. Well anyways that was really random. Talk to you later.. love you
Posted 12/20/2004 at 5:59 PM by ryznstar2000
Ξ Monday, 20 Dec 2004 at 05:11 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
i’m feeling inspired. some of our best inspiration comes out of trauma, suffering, or depression — this comes out of a mixture of that as well as apathy. i dunno, i was just very inspired.
Sentio meis umeris onus sublatum esse, atque forsan mei pars fugit cum illa. Istae placere conatus sum, sed numquam satis esset. Tempore egui quod cum illa egerit, quodque illo eguit et puellam amicosque habeo, omnibus aliis similis, castigabar et doloris in mente tenui, desperans et nunc quamcumque affinitatem nos quam habuimus, non curo. Ex principio infausta erat et non id facere debeo, quod nunc scio. Ista fuit mea Dido, quae mihi relictura est, et ego eius Aeneas. Sed amoris fabula solum fabula erat… videtur mihi fuisse nihil magis quam amoris simulacrum. Sperarat ut illa non me oderit, sed nimium sperare erit. Dum decesserim illa mihi dicebat me odisse et amaram esse, et memoravi Didonis Aeneaeque fabulam. Ut Dido Troes male dixit propter Aenean, sic illa me. Si ad Tartara descendam et eius umbram videam, frontem lacrimis imbutum averteret et altissimae ad noctis tenebrosioris silvas decurreret, sicut Dido ad Sychaeum cum Aeneas eam viderit. Exitiumne ad me veniet ut ad Carthaginem ex Roma? Non puto. Sed tristis est res et me mutavit, et cum spe omnes hae res creturae sunt post nonnullum tempus.
I feel that a burden has been lifted from my shoulders, but perhaps a part of me fled with her. I tried to please her, but it was never enough. I didn’t have time to spend with her, and because I lacked that time and have a girl and friends, just like everyone else, I was being punished and had pains in my mind, despairing, and now whatever relationship we had I don’t care about. From the beginning it was unpropitious and I shouldn’t have done it, which I now know. She was my Dido, who I had to leave behind, and I her Aeneas.
But the story of love was just a story… it seems to me that it was nothing more than an illusion of love. I hoped that she wouldn’t hate me, but that was too much to hope. While I left, she was saying to me that she hated me and was bitter, and I recalled the story of Dido and Aeneas. As Dido cursed the Trojans on account of Aeneas, so she cursed me. If I should fall to Hades and see her shade, she would avert her face, moist with tears, and run to the darker woods of deepest night, just as Dido ran to Sychaeus when Aeneas saw her. Will ruin come to me as came to Carthage from Rome? I don’t think so. But it is a sad matter and has changed me, and hopefully (“with hope”) all these things will be resolved after some time.
a lot of you won’t understand much of this. i haven’t really gone into any of it on here, and i guess its one thing i’ve tried to talk around. perhaps ill tell you sometime. some of you know though *shrugs*. anyways, it’s been a weird day. i was just inspired to write something of the like…. i hope my grammar is correct, bahaha… basically there was a real nuclear meltdown today, and the whole situation reminded me of Dido and Aeneas. No, no, this isn’t with Jenn. heh. Nor any of you, my faithful readers, since I’m sure you’d know if it were you, and I know I sure as hell didn’t exchange words with any of you, at least not as harsh as these.
In other news: I helped Christine and Dan and Jenn with moving some shit today, and we were tryin to get Christine’s apt. ready to be vacated. I guess all of her shit is over at Jenn’s now, so she’s completely moved in. Went to mass, then a movie tonight with Claude and my sis (Anna) — Ocean’s 12 — fucking ill. afterwards i went home, and talked to Sara for like 2hrs! yay! fun stuff. anyways, much love, i need to get to sleep soon, its like 5am. peace!
~ edit: Claude has a date at 7pm tomorrow with this girl Christine set him up with! word! im sure itll go great for him… just needs to keep his confidence up. word… zzZZzzzz ~
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