sometimes i feel so sublime…

Ξ Tuesday, 25 May 2004 at 13:03 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |

    here i am back in medias res. apparently I forgot my book The Thin Man at home, which I was supposed to read today for class. Oh well. I’m sitting in the EMU computer lab; I got a PC this time for once. I still have yet to formulate the full idea for my papers for Astrology and English, but for both I am fairly confident. I think I’m going to completely deconstruct one of Lorca’s poems in Poet in New York for my English class. Don’t know which yet, and my teacher is just going to have to deal if he doesn’t like the fact that I haven’t chosen what poem yet.
    For some reason the editor on here tends to jump two lines down when I hit enter. To remedy this I go into Edit HTML and insert a <BR>. I hate that shit. Oh well. It’s a small price to pay for having Rich Text support. Ooh… actually, I didnt even realise this, I can hit “Line Break” and it will skip down just a line. Hmm… perhaps there is not too much wrong with this after all.
    Anyways, what’s up? it’s too bloody quiet in here. all i can really hear are whispers and the sound of my own typing, sometimes coinciding with the typing of others. i guess i can see desolation even in the most normal and everyday things sometimes. i wish i had my book with me… i really need to read it i hate not being ready in class and all, it is a bad feeling. i can’t get the images of lonely, crumbling churchyards and decaying cemeteries out of my head. just reminded me of Joyce’s “The Dead”: “[The snow] was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns.”
    i guess i always long for the supernatural, for something ghostly and terrifying to happen. even in the places where we feel the most secure, shades still lurk behind closed doors and as chilling presences in the windowpanes behind us as we walk by. perhaps i read too many ghost stories or something, but i just love the stuff. i guess i risk all of you thinking me insanely morbid. well i am, but it’s not an unhealthy thing. i’ve said it before, really… i love life, i couldn’t be happier to be here. i just tend to feel a connexion with death and the other side, a strange attraction…. just finding it very fascinating. no esp or medium kinda shit, just piques my interest.
    death is what makes us alive, really. our whole world is built upon a system of opposing forces; i.e. death vs. life, light vs. darkness, evil vs. good, cold vs. hot, etc. Without one the other cannot truly exist, for it is generally defined by its antithesis. Light is defined as the absence of darkness, if you want to define it in the simplest way possible, just as darkness is defined as the absence of light. Death is the absence and flight of life, just as life is the absence of death. All comes full circle though, at least for life and death.
    Evil vs. good is a different story, however, because it cannot be defined simply as “the absence of good” or good as “the absence of evil.” Each of us is a complex, high-functioning human being, and ideally one should have more good than evil in them, but it is all about a balance and the ratio between the two. No one can be completely “good” unless they are entirely devoid of evil, and nobody can be entirely “evil” unless they are devoid of good (cf. Darth Vader!). Here we begin to tread on theological ground, and that does not generally interest me. I’m Catholic and all, but I don’t tend to like theology all that much, unless we’re talking about the mythological gods of Greece and Rome.
    Well, that was pretty long-winded. Sorry for boring you if I did, but it just kind of poured out. This is what it’s like to be inside my head, or so I like to think. Usually what comes out in here is what I’m thinking at the time, and I try to keep it that way. Of course I edit some things, everyone does, but for the most part, this is like being plugged into my head, at least at the moment I’m writing (cf. Atmosphere’s lyric “The way she listen to what the MC said / She might as well have plugged the RCA cables into her head” ["One of a Kind," off of GodLovesUgly]). I hope you have enjoyed the ride so far, because it will only get stranger. I aim to write in here at least once a day if not much more, so stay tuned.
    Oh fuck! I almost forgot! I got a job interview at ShopKo!!! I’m going in Thursday at 16.30 for an interview, and I hope I get the job… Jenn used to work at ShopKo, and she says it was a cool job for the most part, so I hope I can get signed on there. Next week is just going to be busy as hell, however, and I can’t work 40hr a week until the summer, so I hope they understand. I just said “I hope” three (now four) times in the last couple sentences. Just noticed that, that is kinda funny. Fuck, I love girls. Especially fat girls… word…. anyways, I’m out… take it easy everyone!

Ξ Tuesday, 25 May 2004 at 09:45 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |

    Morning everyone. god i’m tired. i went to bed around 02.30, after finally finishing my paper for astrology. it wasn’t all that hard, i just procrastinated and shite on it. let’s break apart the word procrastinate: it comes from Lat. procrastinare, “to put off until tomorrow” (from pro- (for) + crastinus (of tomorrow)). fairly easy to understand.
    And what do you know? The RIAA pisses me off even more, yet again. “WASHINGTON — A U.S. music industry group says it has sued 493 more people for copyright infringement as part of its campaign to stop consumers from copying music over the Internet.” I’m telling you, these motherfuckers sure don’t care about a) having customers, or b) suing the customers they already have.
    “‘We will continue to go the extra mile and seek to resolve these cases in a fair and reasonable manner,’ RIAA President Cary Sherman said.” Pretty fucking reasonable, jackass. You have already alienated over half of your potential customers as well as most of your current customers. Now if you think I’m a threat to you, read my previous post on this issue of file-sharing. While you’re at it, why doesn’t the MPAA read my other post on movies? I’ve got nothing else to say on this point really. Just wanted to give a big fuck you to the RIAA for fucking college students, grandmothers, and 12-year-old girls over. We don’t need your shit on top of a bullshit war.
    Another interesting article on Google News right now concerns the fact that “Doctor’s (sic) garments can be hazardous.” Apparently, “researchers at a New York hospital have found nearly half of the neckties worn by medical personnel are contaminated with bacteria.” Wow. That’s an interesting observation; I never even thought of that. Perhaps they’ll be using neckties in the future to spread anthrax or something. I tell ya, it’s the new, trendy way to carry biological agents. I’m just playing. you know that. interesting story though.
    Besides all the inanities I’ve just posted, not much is going on. I’ve got class in about 20min, and after that, I need to figure out a topic for my English paper that’s due next week (5-7pg). I also need to work on my astrology paper (it’s 2000 words, and i still haven’t figured out about how many pages that is), since it’s due on 03 Jun, and I also need to present what my paper is about in front of the class for 3 minutes. It’s a nice day out today, by the way. Sun shining down through the trees, temperature is fairly normal, maybe in the 60s or so. I wish more people subscribed to my blog lol…. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how it goes, and just keep posting in the meantime. I hope I’m not in a vacuum here. I doubt it, but sometimes I wonder.
    Anyways, I need to go, but I’ll be back later. I burnt the season finale of Joan of Arcadia to VCD (after downloading of course) and I’m gonna watch it at Jenn’s tonight. I missed it, and her TiVo fucked up in recording it, so I had to download it. It’s all good. I wish they’d release a fucking DVD of that show…. it’s like my fave these days besides Chappelle’s Show. It’s probably a guilty pleasure, but oh well… Amber Tamblyn is beautiful… I liked her immediately in The Ring, and thus far she has not disappointed in Joan of Arcadia. Seriously, watch the show sometime. It’s one of the most well-done shows I’ve seen on TV in a long time, and always interesting. But yeah… I have to go. Much love all… you know who you are

1 Comment

procrastination is like masturbation your only screwing yourself.. Something my aunt has told me.

Remember this daily.. Peace

Posted 5/25/2004 at 11:01 AM by AersolDreamr

Ξ Monday, 24 May 2004 at 20:31 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |

    well i’ve got homework to do. paper to write for astrology, and i havent started. typical of me i guess. i know though that i need to work on my paper all this week, cos its due next week. this paper i’m writing tonight is due tomorrow and only a few hundred words, it’s fairly easy. not too worried. working on that, and i dunno what else. just relaxin really. not too much to say.
and now, an important public service announcement brought to you by philos™®©:

oh… and thank you again (yes another personal thankyou) to pinkprncess7 for continuing our chatterbox “tag” — glad to hear that i can msg you on aim you seem like a sweetheart, and i’d like to get to know ya better! pZ.

1 Comment

you have a very interesting life… peace brotha

Posted 5/25/2004 at 10:55 AM by AersolDreamr

Ξ Monday, 24 May 2004 at 08:42 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |

    it’s monday morning. tired. i’m sitting in a slight pool of sunshine coming from the greyish clouds above. i moved from another computer because there was too much sun coming thru. greek in about 40min or so. i’m still looking for a fucking job. i hate this shit. i probably whine too much about it, but i mean fuck, it’s a problem… you understand how it goes. i’m sorry though. i don’t mean to bitch. just frustrating, that’s all.
    even though the sun’s shining down it seems cold and faraway. the light doesn’t seem genuine. it shines upon the overgrown grass outside the window here, and all i can think of is decay. these images of deserted, decaying castles or abandoned buildings keep flooding my mind. i love shit like that. exploring the ruins of a once-great civilisation, the shades of warriors or hell, anyone, gliding in and out of the corridors, just beyond our mortal sight. i remember in the game xenogears, you go down an elevator into this lighthouse, and there is a huge deserted city there, completely abandoned. exploring it was eerie and fun; there was a video record down there showing the obvious demise of that long-lost civilisation. this has nothing to do with video games though. i wish we had some haunted houses around here, something like that…. i’ve always thought it would be really cool to go look around one. going through musty, crumbling corridors, you can almost see how it used to look, if you concentrate hard enough. i think that’s why i like classics a fuck of a lot too, because it is all about uncovering the relics of the past, namely literature and art, and attempting to piece it all back together and restore it to its old glory.
    i’m out of it. off on a tangent about decay. the sun just increased in intensity; i think it came out from behind one of those whitish-grey clouds. i always found it amazing when the sun did that; i always wondered why it ebbed and surged occasionally in intensity, but now i know that it’s because it passes behind a cloud or something atmospheric like that. i have a love-hate relationship with the sun really. i like it to an extent, but i really prefer grey, cloudy, even rainy days to it. not too much sun, and temperatures of around 50-65°F, blue skies… i can deal with that. stormy grey weather though is some of my favourite. i guess i’m a true oregonian. i’ve probably rehashed this over and over again, but it’s true. i pretty much melt in hot weather… i can’t take it.
    and again, i am working on the layout for this. i may just have to learn CSS and some more HTML. i don’t want to let whoever reads this down…. content must be complemented by a good layout to work effectively. so hopefully i will, i just dont have time now, because finals are coming up and i have two papers due next week. fucked. so i’m a tad busy at the moment, but i will do some necessary edits on this when i end up having time. maybe i’ll even write my own skin. who knows. i just hate tables and html, they drive me fucking insane. i look at some of the skins i’ve previewed and i dont even have the slightest idea how they work. makes me sad too, because i’ve been working with computers for 11 years and i don’t know this shit. i guess it’s just one area i need to work on. but yeah…. i need to get to greek in a few, so i’ll talk to you all later. peace. oh and PS:
    thank you pinkprncess7 for replyin on my chatterbox. you seem cool… we should talk sometime. hopefully you will get this message.

1 Comment

awww… a personal thank you huh? Cool! You seem like a really cool person so yeah it would be cool to talk. I’m on aim too…prncess977, but I’m on at weird times just to let ya know.

Posted 5/24/2004 at 1:12 PM by pinkprncess7

Ξ Sunday, 23 May 2004 at 23:01 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |

    if you all will excuse the dust, i’m in a state of flux with this blog. the skin i was using got rid of a lot of the shit i wanted to have on there (i.e. the chatterbox i just put up) and others, and i wish i could write my own skin with CSS. i have no idea about CSS, and i’m pretty much in the dark with HTML too except for the most rudimentary of things. i hate HTML for the most part; i used to code when i was younger, but these days i’ve just used editors or whatever. i just don’t understand it anymore, and i’d have to buy a big book on it to even attempt to, and even then i don’t know if i could do it. i just don’t like fucking with layouts and tables and all that, i’ve never understood them except when i use them in an editor. WYSIWYG is the way i do it really, i don’t like coding. can anyone recommend a skin to use that will allow me to have the modules i want (i.e. javascript and counter modules) as well as a cool-looking blog? shit’s lame, i was using barcoded@birth skin, which was good, but not great, since i couldn’t have the modules i wanted on there. oh well. i’ll work on it. until then, my blog is a bit dark and unfinished-looking. sorry. pZ.

Ξ Sunday, 23 May 2004 at 22:52 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |

here you all go (bahaha, it looks like a fucking mugshot… but i meant to do that )