Ξ Friday, 23 Apr 2004 at 08:45 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
i’m tired. hovering between waking and sleep. woke up late once again, i hate fucking waking up late. i got ready in about 5min and flew out the door and made it here around 07.58. my car has wings sometimes. but yeah. got a greek test today, then i’ma go work the fuck out, and then go to jenn’s. later tonight we’re gonna see kill bill vol. 2, it is gonna be so fuckin ill! i cant wait. the soundtrack will be awesome too, but i think ima wait to listen to it until i have some context, ya know? dont wanna spoil any surprises.
i think i’ve lost my muse today. i dont really have much to write. just kind of muddled and tired and wishing i didn’t have to go to school. i dont even wanna go work out either, since i forgot a water bottle, but i think i’ma drive home and get it, cos i need to stay hydrated. im kinda hungry too since i didnt get any breakfast. i hate not gettin breakfast, but it usually turns out that way.
did any of you hear about these recent piracy/warez busts? fuckin shit is ridiculous. the whole industry (movies AND music) is in an uproar about the shit, and they have been pissing their pants ever since mp3s and cams began to be traded. i think it’s retarded, personally. i buy my music and i buy my movies, but i really try to stay away from the major labels because of how they fuck their artists in the ass. the artists don’t even realise it either sometimes, and the record companies say they’re losing so much money…. like 95% of the profits go to the label, not the artist. it’s been said before and said better, actually.
however, i see mp3s as a wonderful thing; i have found close to a hundred or more artists that i never would have heard of otherwise by getting mp3s, and eventually i went on to buy their albums and support them. i like underground artists because the money usually goes directly to support them, not to feed the money-hungry labels. i tend to think of mp3s as a “try-before-you-buy” thing, just as many think of warez. that is another good point: since computer programs cost so much these days, shouldn’t you be able to try a full program before you buy it? i’m not talking about a crippled trial where you can push one button, but a fully functioning version that you can test out and decide whether you want to drop $99 on it or not. i think that’s a great thing. since most people can’t afford the software though, most do not choose to buy it if they download it. oh well. the software industry makes enough as it is.
but back to the topic at hand. buying music for me operates on two principles, really. 1) if i have enough money to buy it, and 2) is it out of print/unavailable/bootleg compilation? i mean come on, if something is out of print for good and unavailable, why shouldn’t people still be able to listen to it when someone has a copy to rip? cats miss out on a hell of a lot of music just for that reason, since it’s out of print and hence invisible sometimes. there is a third, and that is whether i like the music, but come on, i’m not an idiot. i’m not going to buy a cd i don’t like. i’m a poor college student, motherfucker. i don’t always have the cash to buy this shit. but when i do, i try to support the artists if i like them enough. but you see, finding out whether i like the album or not depends on listening to the mp3s. i don’t listen to cds in stores. first off, the cds in stores are select and pop bullshit half the time (with the exception of Face the Music, which I just bought Kill Bill Vol. 2 OST at yesterday and have bought insanely dope hiphop there too), and most are not worth even listening to. record companies expect you to shell out close to $20 for an album you may like one track on; hence why would you buy the whole album if all but one track sucks balls? do they expect us to listen when they basically say “don’t listen to the one track you *do* like as a mp3; either buy the album or don’t, because we need the money, we don’t care whether the rest of the album sucks or what.”
i like getting mp3s because they offer a “free trial” aspect to music. you can listen to it as much as you want and as often as you want, and eventually it gets inside your head if you’re feelin it, and then you’re like “fuck, i’ve gotta buy this album!” that is how i was with many albums which i had downloaded and underappreciated before, not giving them enough of a listen, such as Atmosphere’s “Overcast!” and MF Doom’s “Operation Doomsday.” I eventually bought those albums, because they are fucking amazing — and I only would have heard of them through the internet; there is no context for underground artists in everyday life usually, since no one likes to pay attention to them. at least not TV or radio, since they’re too busy trying to play the most Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson they can. Fuck radio, and fuck the big record companies. I don’t like to support them, just like I don’t like to support a corporate conglomerate like wal-mart. fucking bastards. music needs to be appreciated and not forced upon people. if people want to listen to mp3s and decide whether they want to drop $20 on the fucking album, let them. you all are only fucking yourselves over in the long run and losing all your customers.
was that enough of a rant? lol. i didnt even think i was gonna go off on that tangent. oh well. anyways…. i’ll be back later. perhaps some of you have comments on this! much love.
1 Comment
yeah I agree with you on the whole muci industry thing. without these mp3′s I would have neve heard of all the dope shit i’ve heard. ex. atmosphere cage necro and alot others. hope your doing good grey, I would like to sample that new album you just got, hit me up on yahoo nigga. sorry I haven’t been doing my xanga thing but I’ve been busy with work and my whole graff lifestyle… talk to you later.
Posted 4/24/2004 at 10:54 AM by AersolDreamr
Ξ Thursday, 22 Apr 2004 at 09:59 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
tired. sitting in astrology class writing this. i love wireless internet. fuck yeah. anyways… be back later. take it ez.
Ξ Thursday, 22 Apr 2004 at 08:38 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
i’m wearin my non phixion shirt today, it’s ill as fuck. happy i got it! ill have to take a pic of myself in it, yo. but yeah, its thursday morning before greek, and im just chillin like a villain. i took my computer down for maintenance, since it was running a bit hot and hadn’t been shutdown in at least a week… i defragged it before i turned the fucker off, it was in pretty bad shape in that regard. no wonder it was running slow. i had lost like 7gb too on my F: drive somehow, since the free space went from 12 to 19 after defragging. righteous! i need to buy a multitude of fans from SilenX i think, and perhaps a new HDD soon (i was thinkin one of those 250 giggers). otherwise its running pretty fucking well. just needed a break i think. oh yeah, and fuck CPUIdle, that program sucks balls. it had my CPU usage at 100% all the time, which fucks shit up after awhile. i turned it off and now it actually fluctuates. what a novel concept!
enough about computers though. my car kinda fucked up yesterday, a hose in the cooling system blew, and so my dad had to come and help me fix the fucker, he helped me with it and bridged the gap with some kind of apparatus, which definitely helped. i loaded the fucker with a gallon of antifreeze and it still wasn’t full, so i had to fill it up with water later as well. its still full actually this morning, which confirms my suspicions that that hose was the one to blame for the leaks before. i need to get a new part eventually for those hoses, since the part that was in there blew the fuck out, but otherwise it’s running fine. i knew there was something wrong when it started steaming or smoking though. lol.
more misadventures: me and jenn went out to get some dinner after this whole thing, and it was chill at first. our waiter was a fucking idiot though; apparently he had been working there for only two weeks and he really didn’t have the shit down yet. jenn noticed that the only thing he repeated when we ordered was the chocolate shake i ordered, and apparently committed everything else to his volatile memory. jenn ordered a salad, and didn’t get it before her burger, which kind of fucked things up, but then our burgers came and they basically got ours backwards, and the guy said he was sorry and he would give me another burger. i said aight, fine. her salad came, and it had the wrong dressing, and she asked him to take it back before she realised she didn’t even want it then. then when the bill came, it was $22…. and since he fucked a lot of the shit up, well, he knocked everything off except the burgers, which was decent. he tried to charge us for honey mustard sauce (like 60 cents) when we never even ordered any. lol. it ended up being around $12, which was aight. i said to not worry about it, since he made amends, but i still didn’t give the fucker a tip.
perhaps that was a banal and droll story. oh well. i dont mean to bitch, it was just kinda shitty, ya know? but yeah, today i am going to go to class and shite, as usual, then go over to jenn’s (as usual). nothin too much special about today. my birthday is in a week though! i need to go see kill bill vol. 2; the shit has gotten mixed reviews but i think its gonna be dynamite either way. ive come not to expect any less. i need to get the soundtrack too; i’m sure it will be fucking incredible just like the last one (i bought vol. 1 soundtrack right after the flick in theatres, dropping like $20, since i was fiendin for it lol). good shite. basically though this is a pretty boring week. it’s weird without my computer on at night…. it’s like white noise to me, ya know? shit helps me sleep usually. i kinda was up for awhile, daydreaming and rolling things around inside my twisted head… couldn’t sleep. i eventually get to sleep though.
oh yeah! i actually got to read some poe last night, which i’ve missed — i have been readin a bunch of shit for skool and missed out on pleasure reading really… i’m trying to read this full-length work by poe, his only in fact, called “the narrative of arthur gordon pym of nantucket.” it’s a good one. after that i get to his poems, which i think i’ll really like. but yeah. i’m rambling now! ill be around, hopefully my computer will be up by later tonight…. i need to clean the dust out and shit so im gonna do a lil maintenance, but otherwise it should be up and running by midnight at the very latest. so yeah. take it easy kids, have a wonderful day, and go play in traffic. god knows the drivers will love you for it.
Ξ Wednesday, 21 Apr 2004 at 08:46 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
morning everyone. almost time for class. it’s a rainy day out there, with a whitish-grey, nondescript sky. the rain just keeps falling; i had to walk through it on the way over here, and i was soaked by the time i got here. i woke up on time for the most part, and got to skool on time as well. after greek i am gonna go work out, and then i’m gonna try to figure out where i’m going to look for jobs. i fucking hate finding jobs. i thought i’d be able to get one at the bookstore, but i think it’s a no-go. so im going to have to look elsewhere. i was thinking another bookstore perhaps, something like barnes and noble or something, maybe borders. more likely borders. it’s a bit sellout, but oh well. i need the cash right? i wanna move out of my parents’ house this fall, and i dunno if it’s gonna happen.
hmm… new version of eggdrop in the works. word. thats ill.
anyways…. its been a good week so far. got a fuckin paper to write for next tuesday though, and i havent started; i dont even have a topic yet. hopefully my teacher will give topics out tomorrow, but i dont know. ive also got an astrology assignment due tuesday as well, which should be easy. i got 10/10 on the last one, so i’m not too worried. greek is going well too… i need to get up there in a few actually, so i should go. take it easy kids…
Ξ Tuesday, 20 Apr 2004 at 12:17 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
man, no disrespect intended, but i don’t like it when motherfuckers spam me with a comment. i thought it was an actual comment, but it turned out to be some lame advertisement for some lame band. anyways, what’s up?? i’m fuckin happy. i only have to take five (count ‘em, five) more classes next year. a full year of 300-level Greek, another upper-level Classics course (hopefully the Gender & Sexuality in Antiquity class) and a lowly social science class. Word. I just need to make sure they’re all upper-division… a Latin class for fun or reading credit wouldn’t hurt either. I talked to my advisor today, who happens to also be one of my favourite profs… she’s cool as hell. helped me figure out what i need to take for next year to graduate. recommended i look at graduate skool programs and such, just to get an idea of where i want to go. and i definitely will do that.
i’ve got class at 14.00; we’re going to finish the movie of Anton Chekhov’s The Cherry Orchard, which was a pretty decent play. i don’t really like plays in general, unless they are ancient Greek or Roman, since these days plays are pretty boring. Shakespeare commands respect, obviously, but other plays i don’t like much. ibsen’s “ghosts” was a good one though. after that, i think i’m going home. i dont want to work out today. i’m doing the best i can… today is dreary though and it’ll be almost 15.30 by the time i get out of here, so i am just going to go home and get some shit, then go over to jenn’s.
it was interesting this morning. i had a weird nightmare this morning… i think it was when i was half-asleep or something between about 07.00 and 07.30. there was this guy who looked like david duchovny standing in front of me, and another guy standing across from him. the other guy suddenly morphed into this monstrous thing, writhing and looking like it was melting. it flew at “david duchovny” and in a second he was a pile of melted and mangled flesh. i ran and somehow, i was outside the scene, looking at it, looking down upon a parking lot. reminded me of dawn of the dead, which i watched last night (the old version). the thing both shambled and flew around the lot, shrieking in a grating voice, “scissors, i am scissors” or something like that. i cant remember. its head looked like a crude animation as it twisted and turned — the actual fibre of it did so, not the whole head itself, but the flesh crawled and contorted.
after that i woke up pretty much. tripped me out. then i eventually got to school around 08.30, but there were no parking spaces as usual. just my luck. twas interesting that i saw a girl i sorta knew from HS in front of me, waiting for a space. she went to south and was a grade below me, and i would have dated her in hs if she had even known who i was. lol. anyways… i kept waiting and waiting, and eventually someone came up and i asked “are you leaving?” and they said yes. i pointed at this girl’s car and said “she was first, she can take it” and she waved at me as she drove by. what was really ironic though is that i still couldn’t find a spot, and by around 09.45, i was still waiting, and had to get to class. well what do you know? this girl walks back to the lot, and she sees me still waiting, and points in the direction of her car. i flashed her a thumbs-up, chuckling, and followed her to her car. quid pro quo i guess…. that is why i like to do favours if possible, and ladies first if possible as well.
check http://www.grokmusiq.com/ and look for a non phixion release by FTD. that’s me, yo. i dont know if its up there, but check it out. i busted my ass doin that shit. anyways… i’ll be around later. much love and peace to all. but fuck cats who spam blogs, honestly, it’s fucking retarded. if youre going to give me some constructive comments, go ahead, but if you’re going to advertise some bullshit, then fuck off. peace.
Ξ Monday, 19 Apr 2004 at 08:34 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Normal |
what’s up? it’s monday again. i feel like i’m in fucking stasis, just doing the same shit over and over again.
to recall an old quote:
“every day i wake up and it’s sunday”
- travis, “writing to reach you”
i rarely ever listen to those guys anymore, and i should. at least “the man who” is a decent album. they’re a blatant radiohead clone, but they do have their own distinct style as well. i remember when i got their album; friends of mine from scotland gave it to me when they were here once, since travis is a scottish band, and they thought i’d like it… which i did. tis a good album. anyways…
… it was a good weekend. short, but good. i guess it gets shorter if you sleep half the day. saturday was 1 1/2 years for me and jenn. christ, it doesnt seem like that long. still going strong. i’m still a confused motherfucker, and i dont think i’ll ever pull out of that, but who knows. i love her, and that’s what matters. im happy for the time being, and i think that’s all anyone can ever ask for really. i take it one day at a time and try not to worry about the future too much. *sighs* i guess i always want what i can’t have, and that is a common curse among guys. i’m just trying to hang in there and not let myself get swept away.
is my whole life a contradiction? no. i don’t believe so. i guess i’m at that age where we are all confused about things, looking up at the stars and wondering if there is more than this often-dismal existence. love is such a fucking weird thing. sometimes it can get stretched too thin, i think, and when it’s going in so many different directions it almost ceases to exist at all. i dont think that’s the case though; i love my friends (at least my girl friends, yeah i love my guy friends too but in a very platonic, friendly way) like hell, they are wonderful, and really supportive if necessary, and i love them for that and miles more. i guess i as well as everyone else though worry about who i’m with, where i’m going, and where i’m going to be in five or ten years. i shouldn’t.
as a famous person (i dont know who) once said:
“the future’s a mystery, the past is history, today is a gift, that’s why they call it ‘the present’”
i think that’s very true really. we need to live in the moment, live for today, and worry about tomorrow later. i’m not suggesting a kamikaze lifestyle without any regard to the future, but focus on the matters at hand before you try to tackle things that haven’t yet come to pass. i guess i still have two forces tugging at me, threatening to rend my soul, and i worry whether i can handle it or not. i know i’m strong enough, but it begins to wear sometimes. it’s still burning a bit; not a roaring fire but at least a pilot light, keeping itself alive, as i had said before. it may never have its moment to blaze gloriously, but i will still be content. the smallest spark brings me joy.
i love you jenn… and everyone else, especially all my friends and fam. you guys fucking rool. as my friend styloloco said, “you are the most confused muthafucka i know” — i think he was right in some ways. but oh well. it is of no consequence.
love always. ill be around. 
“and the red death held illimitable dominion over all”
- edgar allan poe, “the masque of the red death”
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